<p>We’re reading Midsummer in language arts right now, so I keep repeating, “The course of true love never did run smooth.” </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>@stargirl3 my love for you is like a summer’s day 
…</p>
<p>acceptance letter, acceptance wherefore art thou acceptance letter… :)</p>
<p>To bordinschoolx (we didn’t even bother spelling your name correctly),</p>
<p>Having reviewed thousands of stellar recommendations, it quickly became evident that you would fail miserably if offered a chance to attend our institution. Your lackluster achievements, when compared with that of the other applicants, have made it easier for us to reject you- so in that respect, we are grateful for your ineptitude. As to prevent you from getting your hopes up, we have not even waitlisted you. Frankly, we have never been subjected to such an underachieving individual in the history of our establishment. Our institution would go to the dogs if we open our doors to you.</p>
<p>Moreover, we do commend you for your gall- few know one so courageous as to send applications like yours to institutions like ours.</p>
<p>Please do not apply again; we have already squandered enough time reading about your mediocrity.</p>
<p>Sincerely,
[ugh, we won’t even sign our name- that’s how disgusted we are by you]</p>
<p>______, (we didn’t even bother writing a “Dear”)</p>
<p>No. Non. 不。لا. Ada. Ei. Nicht. Ne. Nej. קיין. Geen.</p>
<p>(saying no to you once wasn’t enough, so we’ve decided to do it in 11 different languages.)</p>
<p>_____, (we didn’t even bother writing a “Dear”)</p>
<p>You’ve been rejected, fortunately.</p>
<p>We’re also happy to inform you that that your archenemy- you know, the one who bullied you from Kindergarten all the way to 7th Grade and stole your best friend and told everyone you peed your pants that one time during that schooltrip even though it was OBVIOUSLY a juice stain- was accepted. She will, in fact, rub this fact in your face for the remainder of your miserable existence.</p>
<p>Best of luck,
[School that will remind you of how much of a failure you were and are for the rest of your life]</p>
<p>______,</p>
<p>Easiest $50 we’ve ever earned!</p>
<p>______,</p>
<p>(to the music of “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift)</p>
<p>We are never ever gonna accept you/
We-ee are never ever- ever gonna accept you-ou.</p>
<p>GREAT @stargirl3 I’m addicted to writing these rejection letters now. Maybe I can work in Andover’s admissions office when I grow up?</p>
<p>Vivien Mallick, Senior Associate Dean of Admission or something, is going on sabbatical. Call, they might be looking for someone to fill her shoes!</p>
<p>@stargirl3
To the admissions office at Andover,
Hi, my name is boardingschoolx and I’ve heard that Vivien Mallick- the Associate Dean of Admission at your school- is about to go on sabbatical. Having recently discovered my innate talent in writing rejection letters, I believe I am the most viable candidate for her position. Please peruse my resumé, which is currently hosted on the website of College Confidential-- please note the five likes I’ve received (in total) on the mock rejection letters I’ve drafted. I believe the “likers” are my references (one is a reputable Senior Member on CC, while the other is a Member).</p>
<p>Thank you very much for your consideration.</p>
<p>Yours sincerely,
Boardingschoolx</p>
<p>@boardingschoolx Love it! My heart started pounding because I thought it was someone from the admission office at Andover writing to me… lol. </p>
<p>@stargirl :)</p>
<p>Dear applicant,
Seriously?Seriously now?? I am devastated by your horrible essays and SSATs. I cannot believe that you even had the guts to apply for FA!! HAH! rofl</p>
<hr>
<p>PS. Its a NO of course. -_-</p>
<p>Dear stargirl3,</p>
<p>We loved your essays. Your test scores were great, and your parent statement showed how truly wonderful you are. There must have been a mistake, however, because your teacher recommendations stank.</p>
<p>Sincerely,
Dream School</p>
<p>Dear Tabuloso</p>
<p>Nice try, kiddo.</p>
<p>Sincerely
(not going to name the school because all your letters will look like this.)</p>
<p>Dear _____,</p>
<p>You wasted your life. </p>
<p>Sincerely,
Exoverfieldkissvillepauls academy.</p>
<p>Dear @Tabuloso,</p>
<p>You are not fabuloso. </p>
<p>Haha! So funny @stargirl3</p>