<p>@stargirl3 ouch</p>
<p>Teehee :P</p>
<p>Dear stupid</p>
<p>Thank you for your money, time, and effort in applying to your dream school. We would love to inform you that you are officially the school record holder for: worst application - your recommendations stink, and a kindergartner could get better SSAT scores than you.</p>
<p>Thanks again for the money,
Your dream school </p>
<p>@ambitiouswolf Welcome to the boards! You already fit right in. :)</p>
<p>thanks @stargirl3 </p>
Dear London Lady
We had a record low in admissions. Only 100 of the 200 available places were applied for. Unfortunately your application was so awful we thought you had a younger sister on pre k who helped you. We are pleased to say.
YOU ARE REJECTED.
Have a nice life
Mr. Smug
Dear whatever (we can’t be bothered to remember your name),
We are proud to say that you have been…OH WAIT WRONG PERSON! REJECTED!
Sincerely,
The St. Deerkissville Exover School
Dear Redpoodle,
We don’t like you. We really, really don’t like you.
Sincerely,
Not in your dreams Academy
Dear goldenfygg,
We deeply regret to inform you that you were not selected to be a part of our amazing, famous, and more-prestigious-than-you school. Did we say that you were not selected? As in N-O-T not? Oh and did we fail to mention how prestigious our school is? Do you remember all of those exceptionally bright and gifted students that you saw on your tour? Let’s just remind you that you will NOT be one of those exceptionally bright and gifted students in the fall. And as for why we didn’t select you… Well, let’s just say that each and every applicant (including that one kindergartner that submitted his application as a joke) had better SSAT scores, essays, recommendation letters, interviews, ECs, and better eyebrows than you. We only take in students with eyebrows that are on fleek. This letter was totally NOT computer automated and it was totally NOT sent to every rejected person.
XOXO,
The Better Than Whatever School You’ll Have To Attend Next Year School
Dear Whimsical Whims,
No. You don’t even deserve a closing.
You didn’t get in. Okay?
Dear HistoryGeek40,
Congratulations! On behalf of the admissions team at insert dream schools here, we would like to formally invite you to-
SIKE HAA
Peace out, nerd
Dear goldenfygg,
This is the second rejection letter we are sending you, just in case you didn’t feel bad about the first one.
Love, the Admissions Team
Dear thelittleswimmer,
As soon as I read the first word of your application, I knew you were a goner. I immediately tossed your application into the rejection pile. Don’t bother applying again.
Kind Regards,
Awesome Admissions Team
Dear ______,
You tried.
Dear thelittleswimmer,
Welcome to Exdeeroverchokiss! Exdeeroverchokiss provides its students with amazing opportunities. We are pleased to announce that you have been REJECTED.
P.S.: (did we get you?)
XOXO,
Exdeeroverchokiss Admissions
Dear Adolf,
After careful review of your portfolio, we regret to inform you that it would be a waste of time to sit for entrance exams.
As this is your second attempt at admission, we recognize your great struggle, but respectfully ask that you not make a third application.
You should try your hand at something else. If you seek a final solution to your artistic aspirations, can we recommend Architecture?
The entire faculty of the Vienna Academy of Art wishes you great success in your future endeavors.
Yadda….yadda….yadda
When I was in law school, we had a contest for the worst rejection letter from our job interviews, and I won! The letter I received actually said “[Name of law firm] has exceptionally high standards in hiring new associates. Unfortunately, you do not meet those standards.”
@JustOneDad The noise I just made was halfway between a horrendous guilty chuckle and a sob.
Of course, a history geek.
I felt guilty writing it.