<p>“So the goal for Asian parents is to give their children the best of everything so that they can have an easier life. Asian parents want their kids to be doctors, lawyers, and engineers (not all but many). These jobs are associated with high salaries and imho, high social status. Social status and “face” is a big deal in the Asian world thus why the push for those jobs.”</p>
<p>Yes, that’s a great way to run life – to base it on what other people think. Keeping up with the Chuas b</p>
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<p>There’s also a strong subversive element in acting as an artform. The ruling elite were probably aware enough to employ various propagandizing techniques to highly discourage entry into this occupation by anyone who wasn’t already considered “highly degraded” by the prevailing Confucian/Neo-Confucian social order. </p>
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<p>Or maybe the rebellious child of “tiger” parents will embrace the love of drums, singing, and/or electric guitar/bass as a way to improve public speaking skills. The singing part certainly worked for me. :D</p>
<p>Disclosure: Am now learning the electric guitar. Rise all ye rebellious children and rock against the “tiger” parents, teachers, admins, and other “stuffed shirts” of the world. :D</p>
<p>Oh that is so sixties!</p>
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<p>Prostitutes 
? You only have to take a look at the extensive fan base of certain actors/actresses in China nowadays to get a sense of their popularity. And if we’re talking about ancient times here, then traditional dances/plays as well as martial arts are all HUGE parts of the Chinese cultural tradition and are deeply well respected. Distain for acting in some people? Possibly. And how can you blame them, with everything on TV and all the drama among actors in their actual lives-----and could you believe it, this hype of the media happens in Asian countries too! Shocking.</p>
<p>Yes, I agree that many Chinese parents do discourage their kids from going into acting (after all, rarely do everyday actors ever rise to the level of the well known figures in media who might have inspired the kids to pursue the career), and that there’re moms and dads who don’t want to pay four years of college tuition for their sons and daughters to stay home basket-weaving, etc. But that’s the exact same with most non-Asian families in the U.S: after a certain degree, the demands of reality encroach over the idealistic visions. Ascending to the level of parental control of someone like Chua is a bit ridiculous, but one does need to take into account how to pay bills and have a stable career in adult life.</p>
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<p>I never knew there was something specifically called “Chinese parenting”, but I guess now there is. If so, I strongly disagree that something like playing a classical instrument should be on the list-----I immigrated to the U.S. as a child and still keep in contact with many relatives there, and strangely, I didn’t and still don’t know any actual Chinese person in my personal life, whether child or adult, who plays a classical instrument to even a slight degree of proficiency. I think one of my cousins did play the piano when she was around twelve, but I would be surprised if she can ever play anything more complicated than “jungle bells”. </p>
<p>To become a good person? To find happiness and meaning in life? But that’s not “Chinese parenting”, just plain “parenting” really. Are we talking about “Chinese” as those living in China, or as in “Chinese American”? Medicine’s a good career in China but in no way holds the level of respect and prestige it does on this side of the Atlantic—In fact, you can just barely graduate high school, go to some med school and call yourself a “doctor”. If you want a high paying, well respected job there, try government/politics.</p>
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<p>Maybe if you’re thinking of a certain Texan group who popularized a Sonny Curtis classic. However, I’m thinkin’ more of the '70s and early-mid '90’s.</p>
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<p>With some exceptions, they were not respected by the ruling scholar-gentry elite who effectively ruled the nation for the reigning dynasty and influenced the social order and what was acceptable/unacceptable. They were not considered respectable pursuits…especially for children from scholar-gentry families. </p>
<p>In fact, pursuing acting in imperial times meant the individual and two subsequent generations were penalized by being prohibited from taking the imperial examinations…the commonly perceived ideal route for social advancement in those times.</p>
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<p>Everyone runs life based on what other people think, just to different degrees, or else one would see more people on the Wall Street wearing comfortable neon green sweaters to work instead of business suits.</p>
<p>Business suits are pretty pass</p>
<p>True where we live, too, Pizzagirl. Some of the most successful people here wear jeans to work.</p>
<p>I’m reminded of JFK, Jr., who wanted to be an actor but was pressured into going to law school by his mother, who considered acting an unsuitable profession. I thought at the time that this was sad, because clearly there was no issue with financial security. Poor JFK failed the NY bar exam multiple times before finally passing, and of course this made the news.</p>
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The simple answer is that, as you say, sleepovers are very common in western culture. The culture you’re living in.</p>
<p>We can all argue about the method Amy Chua uses. However, if you look at results from the Asian-style parenting, there are some positive results. Just look and see finalists in the Intel Science Talent Search and see how many students are of Asian origin. ([Society</a> for Science & the Public - Intel STS - 2009 Winners](<a href=“http://www.societyforscience.org/page.aspx?pid=513]Society”>http://www.societyforscience.org/page.aspx?pid=513)). This may not be the ultimate gold standard. However, it can be one of many yard sticks we can use to measure the success of parenting.</p>
<p>kxc1961 - that list is very impressive and I’d be proud if my kiddo’s name was on the list. However, I will never measure the success of my parenting by a contest. It will be by the content of their chararcter, how they treat others and their work ethic. AND even then, they will make choices that will affect their future.</p>
<p>And it won’t hurt to be mindful of what overly doting parenting produces, either. A few years ago in my community, a jewish guy killed his wife and daughter who walked out on him. “Experts” were theorizing at that time how he was raised. How he never learned to deal with disappointments. His parents with means did everything their son ever asked of them.</p>
<p>Re sleepovers: If you look at the interview of Chua by Meredith Viera that appeared on the Today show (available online), Chua makes it apparent that she was afraid of what might happen at a sleepover, based on her experience when she “stumbled” upon a sleepover once. It is very odd. Makes me think, “Uh, Amy, that wasn’t a sleepover you stumbled upon. That was Woodstock!”</p>
<p>RedDinosaur, while I agree with you that most people are capable of more than they imagine, and that it is good to recognize that, I think that you are trying to re-work what Chua actually claimed into something more reasonable. When you discuss the “requirement” to be the top student in everything except gym and drama, you sidestep the issue that only one person can truly be “No. 1” in a class (schools with 39 valedictorians each year notwithstanding). What if there are multiple students in a class, all of whom <em>must</em> be the top? It is hard to see how healthy competition can be promoted if coming in second is a disgrace. </p>
<p>And in that light, kxc1961, I hope that the Intel finalists who do not eventually place first in the country will nevertheless be very happy with their accomplishments.</p>
<p>“In fact, you can just barely graduate high school, go to some med school and call yourself a doctor. If you want a high paying, well respected job there, try government/politics.”</p>
<p>In what country are you speaking of is it allowed for “doctors” to barely graduate high school? This certainly is not the case for HK, S. Korea, and Taiwan. In the third world countries with little or no schooling, yes I’m sure that there are unqualified doctors. </p>
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<p>My statements about Asian culture are just that. I wrote them so that people here could have a slightly better understanding of a culture that they may know nothing about. I’m not saying that one culture is better than the other. You don’t have to agree or disagree with the general beliefs that Asian families have. </p>
<p>I’m simply sick of people judging Ms. Chua’s family (and/or Asian lifestyle in general) without having an ounce of knowledge or understanding about the culture. For example- the sleepover situation. So what if Ms. Chua doesn’t want her kids having sleepovers? It’s HER family. Some Asian-American families allow it and some don’t. The more traditional the Asian family is, the less likely the parents will allow sleepovers. It’s a cultural norm. Asians are NOT telling westerners that they are ridiculous for having sleepovers, so why are western families telling Asians that it’s ridiculous not to have sleepovers? </p>
<p>Personally, I just find it sad that people cannot accept the differences between the 2 cultures and stop debating on who’s right and who’s not.</p>
<p>And to add: Contemplating a culture in which the “contaminating” effects of a person’s occupation can extend two generations into the future, I am increasing grateful to have been born in a country that was a product of the Era of Enlightenment in Europe.</p>
<p>QuanMech, Don’t you worry. They will be happy. I don’t see that competitive kids are less capable of dealing with disappointments than overly allowed kids.</p>
<p>So, RedDinosaur, would you comment on what happens when multiple students in a class have all been told that they must be the top student?</p>
<p>Iglooo, I have to say in all sincerity that I think that the Intel Finalists are happy now, but I believe that a few who do not win the top scholarship will wind up unhappy. I’ve seen too many photos of various USA IMO team members with their medals. The gold medalists all do look happy, but often the others do not. I always enjoy seeing bronze medalists who look genuinely happy in the photos. They have accomplished a lot! And they should be happy!</p>