<p>Hi guys...so ill be an incoming freshman this fall. I've got some worries on my mind that i hope u guys can settle. So, I've never been in a relationship before and I have no idea of its time consuming nature. But i want to be in one now. I regret not being in one in high school and should have experimented but oh well...what can i do now? The thing is though that i want my premed studies my first priority--always. My goal is to get into med school...and I'm willing to do anything. However, I want a relationship now. The problem is where the relationship will stand with my goals being top priority? Should i hold off the relationships till senior year of college? I am still going to be social, go to parties, meet girls, hook up, etc. But I also want a relationship. But how does it affect me in terms of my grades? Also, I'm the kind of guy that would be very focused in the relationship...In other words, I am easily distractible. Would it be wise to still have one? I want the experience...with the right girl of course.</p>
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<p>Never put your life on hold for your academic pursuits. Lets say you do, and you still don’t get into medical school, then was it worth it? Lets say you do get into medical schools but you put your social life on hold, you are going to be ****ED when you realize that your medical school classmates did just as well as you academically AND they had AMAZING social lives. Honestly if you are thinking about putting your life on hold as an undergrad (where the workload is not that bad), what are you going to do when you are in medical school and the workload is much more?</p>
<p>****You don’t want to be the 30 year old doctor living at home with your parents…</p>
<p>A good relationship is one of mutual support and consideration. Your significant other will understand that you have to put long hours in studying. (Or if he/she doesn’t, then it’s a not a mature, adult relationship and you need to keep looking.)</p>
<p>Academics and relationship aren’t (or shouldn’t be) mutually exclusive. You can have both a serious significant other AND good grades. Like everything else, it’s a matter of learning how to balance your time and priorities.</p>
<p>I agree with WOWM. I also have found that similar people (in terms of their approach to academics) tend to find each other and if you are a dedicated student you will probably end up with someone who also wants to do well. You will probably end up spending a great deal of time seated across from one other in the library.</p>
<p>Waiting until senior year/medical school is definitely not a better choice than dating now. There is time then as well, but you have a lot more wiggle room during college to really develop a relationship than, say, when you are studying for your Step 1. I guess what I’m trying to say is if you can’t hold it together during college then dating + medical school is an even greater impossibility.</p>
<p>kind of related yet tangential to the original question, and I don’t mean to hijack your thread OP, but what about someone who has never been in a relationship?</p>
<p>im 20 years old, finished three years of college and I have, never in my entire life, had a girlfriend (unfortunately not by choice). Yea I know im sad a loser, blah blah blah ive heard it all from people I know before, however given my track record with women, I don’t expect that to change going into med school since everyone tells me that the majority of women are taken.</p>
<p>If we were to look at love in med school objectively then we can conclude twofold:</p>
<p>1) The most successful relationships are between couples in med school</p>
<p>2) The ratio of available women in med school is rather low, so you need to have positive experiences going into med school with women in order to be successful to achieve 1.</p>
<p>So for someone whose entire life has been filled with largely negative experiences, im wondering if I will be the only one who has never been in a relationship going into med school? </p>
<p>Basically are there other guys like me in med school? Is there like a club for this there? Can I start one?</p>
<p>You have a few fallacies in your reasoning. </p>
<p>1) At many medical schools there is approximate gender parity among admitted students. (At D1’s med school there have been slightly more [2-3%] females than males in the past 4 admitted MS1 classes.)</p>
<p>2) Most students starting med school are not in committed relationships when they arrive.</p>
<p>3) The only available pool of potential significant others for med students consists of ONLY other medical students.</p>
<p>Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get some help figuring out why you can’t attract and hold onto a significant other. Once you know why you can’t interest women, take steps to remedy it–including counseling if necessary.</p>
<p>There are a few fallacies in your reasoning actually.</p>
<p>1) most people I know or talk to tell me that most women coming into med school are already in committed relationships so that’s just plain wrong.</p>
<p>2) Counseling because I can’t get girls? Please I’m not that pathetic.</p>
<p>3) I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m just telling what other people have called me and labeled me as, but thats their opinion not mine. Also if I knew what was wrong with me then I wouldn’t be single. I just have to accept the fact that women i like just don’t like me in that way which is fine. Their loss. </p>
<p>Moreover you still didn’t answer my question.</p>
<p>Medical school is absolutely, 100%, without a doubt NOT worth having an unsatisfying social life in college. If you can’t do both, then you need to reconsider your priorities. </p>
<p>I say that as someone who absolutely loves their job and has found a medical specialty that they absolutely adore and find exceedingly thrilling. But as perfect and fulfilling as my career is for me…avoiding friendships and relationships etc would never be worth it. It’s simply a different level. Everyone needs friends, family and relationships - that never changes. There are hundreds of careers that could be equally satisfying - there’s no reason to sacrifice the basics for one idealized career.</p>
<p>While a large number of people are in relationships when starting medical school, probably 90% or so of them fail within the first semester. The rest were mostly engaged, living together, or married. So actually, there does tend to be a lot of single people in medical school. However, the absolutely WORST place to look in medical school for a mate is within your own class. Yes a few happy couples come out of it, but the more likely scenario is that you end up with an awkward classmate for the remainder of your time in medical school. There are too few people within the class to hide from them. Fortunately, there are many other classes above and below you, as well as PhD students, nursing students/nurses, etc etc.</p>
<p>As far as guts questions go, if you are overweight lose it. If you are thin but not studly bulk up. Sad and superficial, yes, but that tends to be the easiest fix and the most common problem in our age group. Join a internet dating page, there’s no shame in it, especially during medical school when your options can be limited to other medical professionals. I personally don’t know anyone in my class that has never had some sort of relationship, but then again it isn’t something that gets talked about so it may be that some haven’t dated.</p>
<p>^ that was an extremely confusing response. All I got from that was that you don’t really know. Great. Where is that 90% statistic coming from? If anything I have friends who get into relationships that last in med school. I’m not overweight and I’m fairly well built by going to the gym often. People tell me that im good looking but i have found out the hard way that looking good is meaningless, that’s not the answer to this problem.</p>
<p>I guess if I was to interpret anything from what you said, than it would be that everyone is more or less experienced. Again I find myself the odd one out. It’s ok though, at least I know what to expect and I’m quite used to it now anyway. Hopefully I can end up in NYC or la or some hooker rich area, I think i can pick one of those up, but im not really sure - I may end up with the typical “let’s just be friends response” :p. </p>
<p>Besides who needs women when you get to study biochem and anatomy non stop? :p</p>
<p>Jeebus. 
Anybody else want to get their teeth kicked in for just trying to help? Anybody?</p>
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<p>[Cherry</a> picking - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherry_picking_(fallacy)]Cherry”>Cherry picking - Wikipedia)
[Hasty</a> generalization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasty_generalization]Hasty”>Faulty generalization - Wikipedia)</p>
<p>Take your pick.</p>
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<p>No, but I did seem to pick up on some subtle hints of possible problems in both ongoing threads.</p>
<p>Curmudgeon: its only help if it’s useful. Thats the definition of help.</p>
<p>I’m getting the 90% estimate from personal experience, rather than second hand like yourself.</p>
<p>^ was that supposed to make me feel bad? You gotta be a lot more aggressive about it if you want to actually hurt me. Like “at least I have had a girlfriend” or “at least I’ve never been single my whole life” but I’ve heard it all before. Yawn. Keep trying compadre, you may hit home soon.</p>
<p>@ YaloPen: sorry I meant to specify to attractive women - ones that are actually worth going after, say 8s and above are usually taken coming in. There maybe some unattractive single ones but they usually make good friends, nothing really more.</p>
<p>Actually, I was answering your question of where I got the 90% estimate of the number of relationships that fail during the first semester of medical school (meaning I got it from the personal experience of watching a lot of relationships fail at my medical school).</p>
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<p>dude, no one is “trying to make you feel bad” or “hurt” you. What incentive would some random person on an internet forum have to do something like that. They are posting here to help you.</p>
<p>My apologies. It was wrong of me to lash out on here, I’ve just been really depressed about myself lately. if you were trying to help me, sorry. I’ve had so many bad experiences that it’s all I see now.</p>