<p>The banana slug is jejune. The finest college mascot of all is the mighty UC Irvine Anteater. Peter the Anteater, to be precise. The Anteater was the brainchild of one -- I swear I am not making this up -- Schuyler Hadely Basset III, who got the water polo team to promote the name.</p>
<p>The finest high school mascot of all time is Bardahl, who wears a costume inspired by the Tin Man of the Wizard of Oz. The school? The Huntington Beach High School Oilers, of course. My wife was Bardahl from 1973-1975. You want to make something of it?</p>