@dramakid2 yes…he did get a single…however, I think I am scarred from this thread!!!
Found the old college thread (I had restricted my search to this forum): http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1836751-help-with-unusual-roommate-issue-p1.html
Or maybe the solution is just to email this Onion article…https://www.theonion.com/man-thinks-he-managed-to-masturbate-without-waking-room-1819565755