<p>This girl in our class is loaded with stupid remarks, even though she gets the highest grades in the class. Here are a few.</p>
<p>'Wasn't Koran the capital of Islam ?'
Other kid 'God it was hot in Italy during the vacation' Her ' Duuh, it's on the equator.'</p>
<p>God Bless</p>
<p>"The U.S. is over 9 trillion dollars in debt right now."
"That's more than I'll make in my lifetime!"</p>
<p>I suspect a lot of these are made up.</p>
<p>I only wish mine were lol</p>
<p>
[quote]
Same girl: (referring to semen after teacher said it contains fructose) "So that's why it's a little bit sweet?"
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Always a funny one -- and I've heard it many, many times about many different classrooms and it makes me wonder if it has ever actually happened. Another version is: "Well, why does it taste salty?"</p>
<p>Ha</p>
<p>Koran the capitol of Islam. Wow</p>
<p>From the APUSH files:</p>
<p>"If the Mississippi River splits the country down the middle, how come the East doesn't just fall off?"</p>
<p>On Romanticism vs. Realism: "That's not romantic! Romantic is something I want to look at when kissing my wife."</p>
<p>"When someone gets a lifetime supply of curly fries, how does that work?"</p>
<p>"Hey, I have a whip at home!"</p>
<p>Bedhead and Central Perky, I have indeed heard many iterations of that one. It is a very common urban legend. However, it also happened in my class, cross my heart. </p>
<p>(I know, I wouldn't believe me either)</p>
<p>We're joking with the teacher about what to do with our AP Lit midterm review by making up games like Who Wants to be an Incest Millionaire and Incest or No Incest, since we just read Oedipus and Antigone. I was about to say 'Wheel of Misfortune', but this girl in the back (who has been listening to everything we've said) chimes in with: "I don't know these other games, so let's play Bingo!" </p>
<p>Completely serious. What the hell?</p>
<p>World History class, 9th grade:</p>
<p>"Wait... Egypt's in Africa?????"</p>
<p>English 11:
"Many people say that money doesn't grow on trees. In actuality, they do."</p>
<p>8th grade science:
a girl: "Do black holes blow or suck?"</p>
<p>Orchestra:
Me: "We can't end the concert with that! We have to end it with a bang!"
Teacher: "If you don't shut up, I'll bang you."</p>
<p>Teacher: "Second violins, you guys really need to stay steady. Keep it regular!"
Me: "I think they need some metamucil..."</p>
<p>Might be helpful to know:
Mr. Bachman: not a very good AP Physics teacher. but funny. kind of has a monotone voice. should be on "The Office."
Mr. Aviles/Mr. A: bad French teacher. the only one at the school so we've had him for 3 years--we know each other well. most of us do nothing productive in class, unless it counts doing other class's work
Mr. Lee: asian math teacher. amazingly funny accent.
Mr. Thomaselli: AP Art History teacher
Mrs. Gazzola: crazy hard AP Lang teacher
Mrs. Hampsey: observing Gazzola, as she will be replacing her when Gazzola retires nextyear
Mr. Amatulli: young, very laidback gym teacher</p>
<p>Mr. Bachman asks a question to which the answer is “velocity.”
Olivia: Positive?
Mr. Bachman: It begins with a v… and ends in –elocity.</p>
<p><em>People are talking</em>
Mr. Aviles: Would you please talk, class?
Me & Olivia: Okay!
Mr. Aviles: I wanna feel like I’m in command, that’s all. TALK DAMMIT!</p>
<p>“If you felt yourself going forward and then backward, then you probably had a seatbelt on . .. which is good.” – Mr. Bachman</p>
<p>“The more we eat, the bigger we get.”
-Mr. A</p>
<p>“Tracy, you look like you’re going spelunkering in the North Pole.” – Mr. Lee
I'm prettty sure it's spelunking..hahah</p>
<p>“And the 3’s like, ‘Wait. I’m not being raised to the 5th power so leave me alone.’” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>"You know how when you're in an accident everything goes in slow motion? Well there was this moment that me and the deer were looking at each other like, '...ok we're both screwed.'" - Mr. Tomaselli</p>
<p>Stephen: Is it Thursday today?
Bachman: Allll day. </p>
<p>“Don’t bring glass bottles to class. Yes they break, yes they spill, yes people leave them. Like that huge spill in the back that put Exxon Valdez to shame.” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p>“Make sure that if you don’t know it, you know you don’t know it. You can’t just sit there going, ‘You know, I don’t know if I know it.’” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>“Concavity: Does it look like the roof of your car or . . NOT the roof of your car?” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>Bachman is telling about springs and how proliferate they are.
Jenny: “Wow, springs are really a big part of our lives.”</p>
<p>“You were born. You fell out, done. Deal. Paid for.” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p>“We’re gonna drop a cannonball . . . just to test the cliff – see if it works.” – Mr. Bachman</p>
<p>Andrew goes to drop something off in the math office. He returns.
Mr. Lee: did you see Dr. Gav in the office?
Andrew: No
Mr. Lee: I should’ve known. You came back so soon.</p>
<p>“And the 2’s like, ‘Ha! You cannot combine me because we’re not like-terms.” – Mr. Lee </p>
<p>Me: “Why did you draw a weird tic tac toe board?”
Emily: “It ‘s not Tictactoe. It’s a doodle.”
Me: “A doodle of a poodle.”
(I was severly lacking in sleep. forgive me.)</p>
<p><em>Girl walks in looking for her cell phone</em>
Mr. Aviles: “You’re looking for a cell phone?
Random Girl: "ummm yeah?"
Mr. Aviles: Rub the bottle and ask the genie for it.”</p>
<p>(to me, liv, and sondge)
“Girls, and girls, and girls. You’re eating, you’re choking. You can’t read while you’re eating and choking.” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p>“And the 1/3’s going, ‘Hey m, integrate yourself so I can be like next to you.’ . . . and then the 1/3 is like ‘Alright!’” -Mr. Lee</p>
<p>Me: OH NO!
Bachman: What? Whats the matter?
Me: I forgot to tell you to watch The Office yesterday!
Mr. Bachman: What office? Where? Was I supposed to be at an office?</p>
<p><em>Power goes out.</em> “It must be a squirrel.” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>Olivia: “Mr. A, where's Jake?”
Mr. A: “Well, I never got my GPS device back, I don't know.”</p>
<p>sondra (from a prior convo): ...Half our school would be dead.
me: If they did what?
sondra: If they killed stupid people.</p>
<p><em>Jake says something.</em>
Mr. A: “Just go back to your English work.”</p>
<p><em>Mr. Lee hands back tests.</em>
Mr. Lee: “Feel free to baste in your glory.”
(Apparently ... in Mr. Lee's class, you don't bask in your glory.. you baste yourself with it.)</p>
<p><em>Someone writes the sentence 'I have a lot on my mind.'"</em>
Mrs. Gazzola: The image I get from that is a person walking around with an acre on his head.</p>
<p><em>Someone writes 'in the novel, Hana..'</em>
Mrs. Gazzola: Where else do you think they are!? On 42nd street soliciting a hooker!?</p>
<p>Jen: This is how you get a not-failing grade on the Physics AP. First, you do all the work in Bachman's class. Then you go out with a physics genius. Oh, and get a good review book too.
(she went out with a physics genius)</p>
<p><em>Mrs. Gazzola steps on a bug very hard and squishes it into the floor; it had interrupted our convo on expository essays</em>
Mrs Hampsey: Now, that is TOTALLY not a [metaphor] to what she's going to do to your essays...</p>
<p>“A non-conservative force? Why don’t you just call it a liberal force then?” –me</p>
<p>“Kinetic Friction Awareness Day is an important day for followers of . . kinetic friction followings.” – Mr, Bachman</p>
<p>Me (really loudly, no one else is saying anything): “He’s SUCH a bad teacher.”
Mr. Aviles: WHAT!????
(I wasn't talking about him! I was talking about Bach! I sware!)</p>
<p>“It’s so easy, it’s like spelling DVD.” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>Schyler: Let’s chill for the rest of the period.
Bach (to class): Lab is due no later than Friday.
Schyler: You totally just stared at me.
Bach: I guess because you wanted to chill, I directed my line of sight to the nearest slacker.</p>
<p>"These word problems should be very good, educational, nutritious...” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>James: Did Roman bathhouses have the equivalent of chlorine to keep them not nasty?
Mr. Tomaselli: Umm.. slaves?</p>
<p>“I have dreams that I’m like, floating through the hallways.” - Danica</p>
<p>Schyler: OMG I totally wanna just go in my washing machine sometimes.
Bachman: Okay, I’ll watch for you on the 11 o’clock news.</p>
<p>Mr. A: Griffindor means heraldry.
Jake: Like Harry? In Hogwarts?
Mr. A: <em>stares blankly</em>
Jake: YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS HARRY POTTER!?!
Mr A: Well, I figured it had to be that, since it wasn’t the Bible.</p>
<p>“Did I ever tell you about the kid who was late for school? He got on the rhom-bus.” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>Andre: “I like to drive on oceans. My car is the Jesus of all cars.”
Tommy: “Oh! I know what those are called – boats!”</p>
<p>Mr. Aviles: Sortan mon mouton—it means sheep jumping, like leap frog.
Alex: It sounds like a gang-affiliated activity.</p>
<p>“I don’t like nice people.” – Brian</p>
<p>“Do we have the option to sleep instead?” – Me</p>
<p>“Sometimes, I get so bored that I count the chalkboards in my room.” – Mr. Lee </p>
<p>“That’s just a conception [pretty sure he meant "conceptual"] question.” – Bachman</p>
<p><em>I take my calculator off Emily's desk. She holds it.</em>
--- 5 seconds later ---
Me: “Why’d you give this to me . . .?”
(again, severly lacking sleep)</p>
<p>“The snow came on and made me all wet.” – Andolika</p>
<p>“Hijack? That sounds like you’re out doing your community service hours. Doesn’t Air-Pirate sound so much better?” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p>“I will not have my students going home and studying and ruining their evenings.” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p><em>Mr. Lee has one of those hourglass-shaped water bottles on his desk.</em>
Mr. Lee: I’m not afraid to get in touch with my feminine side. </p>
<p>“Gourmet cooking, is that like, Honors Home Ec?” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>Schyler: What happens if you’re heavier than the earth?
Bachman: Then you’ve got bigger problems.</p>
<p>“You know Clarkstown was rated the second-safest place in the nation? I guess they don’t think Calculus is dangerous.” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>“How are you gonna face your fears if you don’t wanna face your fears?” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>“They want you to be able to do this numerically, algebraically, and graphically. It’s a complete nutritional balance.” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>Mr. Lee: Can R ever be negative?
*People shake heads no.”
(Only) me: Ya.
Mr. Lee: Some of you are like this (shakes head). Some of you are going... “Ya.”</p>
<p><em>kid is half asleep while attendance is being taken</em>
Mr. Amatulli (on day back from snow day): dude, get the hell up
Kid: I'm tired, man
Mr. Amatulli: “You had all day yesterday to sleep. What did you do?”
Kid: “PCP.”</p>
<p>Discussion on abortion:
JW (student): ...and ladies, you know, if you get pregnant, it could be by someone in this room...
Me: Doubt it!</p>
<p>Heaven and hell:
JW: people want to do bad stuff in hell, like drinking...
Friend: But in Heaven, they don't check ID!</p>
<p>From AP Physics</p>
<p>Teacher: "What is the net work?"
Student: "Change in delta K!"</p>
<p>The whole class was LOLing...</p>
<p>wow, alamode, i wish i went to your school.</p>
<p>^^hahahaha, we sure do rock, don't we? =P
we started keeping track this year, lol, updated quarterly on facebook notes</p>
<p>Teacher: What different countries have you been to?</p>
<p>Student: Um, Mexico, Canada, New York, and France.</p>
<p>Some of your guys' stupid quotes are actually things only huge geeks would find stupid.</p>
<p>In AP Gov, boy asks while taking notes on political parties "How do you spell GOP?"</p>
<p>It was pretty funny</p>
<p>"Some of your guys' stupid quotes are actually things only huge geeks would find stupid."</p>
<p>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. true</p>