<p>AP chem class: teacher: "I have one word answers on my key"
student: "who's Mikey?"</p>
<p>Math class: (talking about taking things out of square roots) "and the x stays in by itself, hey, some people have to work at blockbuster"</p>
<p>AP bio: (jeapardy question) "what is the effect that maintains stable temperature on the earth?"
girl: THE OCEAN!!!!!!
(the answer was the greenhouse effect)</p>
<p>the ocean does btw.</p>
<p>This is my favorite; I tell everybody about it:</p>
<p>Happened in 10th grade science. We were learning about electricity, and our teacher was telling the class how British Columbia makes excess electricity and sells it to California for profit... all of a sudden, a girl raises her hand, completely perplexed:</p>
<p>"Well how do we get it there? In boxes?"</p>
<p>Haha, I know the ocean does, but it was just the way she said it, and the fact that the question was what "effect."</p>
<p>Hist Teacher: "The only excuse for not turning in a term paper is that you died."</p>
<p>Theology: (to poke fun at disruptive students) "Mr. [last name] suffers from a very unique disease known as diarrhea of the mouth"
(responding to a student's raised hand) "Yes, Mr. [] what's on your <em>little</em> mind?"</p>
<p>Calc: "Stick that in your calculator and graph it."</p>
<p>A kid in chem: "can you please give us the tests with the answers marked on them?"
Teacher: "Why should I? You'd still fail."</p>
<p>Some of these are not funny at all.</p>
<p>you know how on the calc you can click "math" and then "fraction" and it turns a decimal into a fraction?
well, Mr. Lee uses it as a verb.
"ok, so now you can mathfrac it..."
only him....</p>
<p>In the c/07 at my hs, during an honors physics class lecture, suddenly:</p>
<p>"Silence, your soul is mine."</p>
<p>no joke.</p>
<p>English class
"wait, so you have to come to get perfect attendance?</p>
<p>dead serious but I think if there is one class whos always saying something stupid,they are just acting like it to get attention</p>
<p>alamode- we do that too.
I've also used "math 9 it" or "math 8 it" with ap calc this year.</p>
<p>"Where is Mexico City?" (Our AP world class).</p>
<p>Student:
"Do penguins really drive boats like in Madagascar?"
Teacher:
"(Student's name), take out a piece of paper. Roll it up into a ball. Pat it back and forth on your desk. Whenever you get the urge to ask something, just pat it back and forth."
[And she did. She was just... I don't even know, but she spent most of her class coloring in coloring books and got a 19% in the class.]</p>
<p>alamode-
"<em>Power goes out.</em> “It must be a squirrel.” – Mr. Lee"</p>
<p>i honestly died of laughter when i read this- i must say this is the funniest quote i've read on this thread</p>
<p>8th grade science
"I thought Mt. Everest was in the US!"
"I thought it was in Canada!"</p>
<p>Philosophy:
"<some philosophy="" word=""> is the denial of everything"- Teacher
"NO IT'S NOT!"- Kid (who was 'sleeping')</some></p>
<p>Mr. Ashcraft. </p>
<p>So cool... we made a facebook group. Heres a quote:</p>
<p>Name:<br>
Ashcraft=BALLIN'
Type:<br>
Student Groups - Religious Groups</p>
<p>This is for that crazy math teacher who lives in Room 204, the one and only...BILL ASHCRAFT!!! Everybody who has ever met him, join. Bring me your quotes, your stories--this group shall be a SHRINE!</p>
<p>Reasons Ashcraft is awesome:</p>
<ol>
<li>mad yo-yo skillz</li>
<li>music during class, from loudspeakers on the walls. 'nuff said.</li>
<li>hiding in the closet--who would ever have thought that he would do that?</li>
<li>hiding behind the desk. see above.</li>
<li>throwing random things at random people.</li>
<li>The Straight Dope.</li>
<li>thrilling accounts of Ashcraft's many misadventures</li>
<li>keeping the hippie philosophy alive...hell yeah</li>
<li>his mullet circa 1990...priceless & the source of many jokes</li>
<li>ping-pong tournaments</li>
<li>cinnamon-scented incense</li>
<li>sexual-frustration pamphlets! calc class '06 alumni know what i'm talking about...yeah, that was embarrassing</li>
<li>discussions of how best to cook human placentas...i have no idea how we got to that topic when we were supposed to be talking about Taylor series.</li>
<li>coloring the window with sharpies--***?</li>
<li>marker fights, alyssa vs. emma</li>
<li>joke contest, erin vs. joe</li>
<li>yelling through a megaphone at people who are two feet away from him</li>
<li>his obsession with a symmetrical seating chart</li>
<li>the burglar story: "i would have rained blows on it until its demise"</li>
</ol>
<p>Everything he says is stupid yet awesome. today during class he put a string in his nose and pulled it out his mouth.</p>
<p>look</a> here</p>
<p>yea.</p>
<p>I had another account but deleted it to start fresh.</p>
<p>9th grade bio:
Girl: "The sun is alive right?"
Teacher: No.
Girl: "Oh, ok but the Earth definitely is, right."
Teacher: No.</p>
<p>Girl: Isn't evolution a big scam that's what my parents say it it. Why would you teach this when we know it's not true.
Teacher: =0</p>
<p>Not a quote, my friend put a plunger on his head in cooking while goofing off. Someone then told him that it went in toilets. He then realized his mistake. Lol</p>
<p>6th grade English
I have a friend call Mark.
A students asks the teacher
- "Mr. Where is Mark?"
- "Look it up on the dictionary"</p>
<p>Spanish I, 9th grade
teacher passes out a sign out sheet for each student to write down the name of the famous Latino/Latina they wanna do a report on. She says, Write 'Yo no Se' if you aren't sure who you want.</p>
<p>the paper goes around, one boy shouts out, Who the Heck is Yo nosee??</p>
<p>ok it was admittedly, a had to be there moment.</p>
<p>"Where were the Trojans from?"</p>
<p>"...Rome?"</p>
<p>^well, that actually makes some sense... the person just didn't go back far enough haha.</p>