<p>one of the science teachers in our school:
2.2 POUNDS = 1 KILOGRAM on the study sheet.</p>
<p>and hes like</p>
<p>yeah i love music! my favorite band is uh… um… metallica!! (pronouncing it meta-licka)</p>
<p>Jason Cramer: Chemistry Teacher</p>
<p>“Love is similar to an addiction to crack”</p>
<p>I felt the need to resurrect this after remembering it. I have a few from this year.</p>
<p>In Spanish:
Teacher: First you masticate, then you swallow. </p>
<p>Randomly, former teacher:
Teacher: I’m a biter.</p>
<p>Physics (this teacher was…out of this world):
Student: Look, a bearcoon!
Teacher: Where?</p>
<p>Teacher: These are your seats FOREVER. </p>
<p>Teacher: So what direction is the car going in?
Student: Weast. </p>
<p>On a school trip to Italy, one of the Spanish teachers wanted to have a cup of coffee, but the shop was closed. So he pretended to bang on the doors yelling “Abre, abre, abre!”</p>
<p>And then there was one of the priests at our school:
Priest: We should make a Jesus Facebook page…</p>
<p>“Were there a lot of sick animals in Vietnam?”
“No?”
“Then why are there so many Vietnam vets?”</p>
<p>“Do you speak Canadian?”</p>
<p>This happened during my internship this summer. Me, and this other intern was telling this girl (another intern) about the different american party systems.</p>
<p>Me: There’s the Democrats and Republicans
Male Intern: Yeah, and there’s also the Green Party
Female Intern: The Green Party? What do they do, talk about the environment and stuff and care for trees?</p>
<p>I literally had to get up and go to a corner and laugh. At the time, it was really funny.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m wrong, but isn’t she somewhat right? She didn’t see the spelling haha:)</p>
<p>"The distinction is very often made between “green parties” (lower-case letters) and “Green Parties” (capital letters).[citation needed] Any party, faction, or politician may be labeled “green” if it emphasizes environmental causes. Indeed, the term may even be used as a verb: it is not uncommon to hear of “greening” a party or a candidate.</p>
<p>In contrast, formally organized “Green Parties” follow a coherent ideology that includes not only environmentalism, but also other concerns such as social justice, consensus decision-making, and pacifism. Greens believe that these issues are inherently related to one another. The best-known statement of Green values is the Four Pillars of the Green Party, adopted by the German Greens since their founding in 1979-1980" -Wikipedia</p>
<p>“No girl really means ‘No.’”
“Why would a guy take on the woman’s last name [in marriage]? No man would do that.”</p>
<p>This guy is not a womanizing jerk either (to my knowledge at least.) I was shocked when I heard it because he’s really friendly and polite.</p>
<p>10th Grade Technology class
Jerk: “We should put all the gays on a bus to Afghanastan and blow them up.”</p>
<p>Kid who sleeps in class “We have a test today?”
Teacher “I’ve only been saying that everyday this week.”
Kid “I haven’t studied.”
Teacher “Sorry.”
It’s not really a stupid quote, it’s more of an annoying quote that I hear each time I take a test:/ I never remember any quotes:( I’ll come back later if I can think of some.</p>
<p>Wartsandall, kids in my classes do it all the time. I had an Economics/Amer. Gov’t teacher that would give us lectures of the chapter in his monotone voice. People would either be sleeping, daydreaming (me), reading, or working on homework. Come test review, people would demand that he taught the entire chapter over. LOL</p>
<p>Haha that’s funny. I can’t ever fall asleep in class, though I have tried while watching pointless movies. However, one kid in one of my classes fell asleep during a lecture and my teacher took a book and slammed it on his desk. That kid never feel asleep in class again lol</p>
<p>Towards the end of the year, this interesting conversation after students got fed up with the new rules of the new President of the school:
Student: I’m protesting against the man.
Teacher (female): Who is the man?
Student: The President (of the school) is the man, the Principal is the man.
Teacher: Is it just men?
Student: No! You’re the man, too!
Teacher: Oh?</p>
<p>I have one, from eighth grade</p>
<p>Teacher: Who was the first prime minister of Canada?
Student: Ohh! Pick me!
Teacher: Alright.
Student: THOMAS EDISON!</p>
<p>Girl I Despise:
-“Wait, Florida is a state? I thought we were just a territory?” We LIVE in Florida!</p>
<p>Spanish II Teacher:
- “So tell me, what did you and [my best friend] do this weekend?”
Me(being a smarta–) : “Well, [my best friend] y yo bailamos encima de la mesa.”
Teacher: “Oh, and isn’t that fun!? Do you have pictures?”
Us: O.O</p>
<p>PE Coach:
-Kids that aren’t dressed out sit in the corner of the gym, on the floor. While explaining the rules to super Kickball, “And if you hit the kids in the corner, 5 points for a body shot, 15 points if you hit them in the face.”</p>
<p>Health Teacher:
- Learning about contraceptives, teacher has taken out a condom and is stretching it to show it’s elasticity and such. Suddenly, she puts the condom over her hand and stretches it all the way up to her shoulder, “Girls, if someone ever comes near you with something this big RUN AWAY.”
Good times.</p>
<p>Bio teacher:
-“Sexual reproduction requires two or more buddies! Asexual means they do it with themselves! Like sad, lonely little boys.”</p>
<p>Creative Writing Teacher:
-“My brother used to pimp me out for candy. But that was before I was kidnapped in Isreal and the guy tried to make me marry him.” <– COMPLETELY SERIOUS</p>
<p>AWESOME Algebra 2 teacher:
-To student: “I love you! … In a totally non-weird way that wouldn’t get me thrown in jail, you know.”
-Out of absolutely nowhere: “Did I ever tell you about the homeless guy I killed in McDonald’s?”<br>
And we’re all staring at her like “What the heck are you talking about?” So she launches into this (completely true, we have the news articles the prove it) story, finishing up looking sad and with a, “It wasn’t really my fault, truly.” Which it wasn’t; it was a complete fluke. But the bell rings and we start leaving, and she screams “I’M NOT A MURDERER, I PROMISE! I WOULDN’T KILL ANY OF YOU!”</p>
<p>I want to hear this Algebra teacher’s story!</p>
<p>Corryn, those are hilarious. Especially the Bio teacher and the Algebra teacher. </p>
<p>Here’s a random one from math:
Teacher: Okay, let’s get started.
Student: No! Can we not do math? Can we do…origami?</p>
<p>“F*** my life… my parents will only let me use the computer from 6:30 to 10:30 every night!!”</p>
<p>"I want to hear this Algebra teacher’s story! "
It’s a rather sad situation, despite how humorously she told the story. :/</p>
<p>She was on a bus trip, and one of the days they stopped for lunch at a McD’s. It was apparently raining pretty badly, and there was a homeless man sitting at one of the booths by himself because one of the employees told him he could stay in the building during the storm. So my teacher, being the lovely person that she is, buys the man a fish sandwich and sits down with him. He mumbles a thanks, takes a bite, smiles at her, puts the sandwich down, and promptly falls face-first into the table.
Horrible, horrible story that shouldn’t be funny, but it is.</p>
<p>Does that make me a horrible person?</p>
<p>I remember in AP Bio class, this girl I knew said that humans have around 32 chromosomes(or something around that amount lol), my teacher looked itup and that’s the amount off chromosomes that a badger or yeast has. So, everyone pretty much called her a badger lol, horrible but funny.</p>
<p>Then, this was the same girl who thought the Star of David was a swatsika…I’m not making that up.</p>
<p>Well, she didn’t kill him, she just happened to be there when he died.</p>