<p>My math teacher talking about Newton’s law of cooling:</p>
<p>Teacher: So if we leave a hamburger patty out starting at 200 C, the room is at 25 C and the meat is left out for five hours, what temp will it be? <em>proceeds to start laying out the problem</em></p>
<p>Student 1: [Teacher] why did you leave your meat hanging out for 5 hours?</p>
<p>Student 2: Thats what she said.</p>
<p>I’ve recently started collecting stupid quotes from various classes. Although they’re not all exactly hilarious, they can be quite amusing, especially when taken in context: </p>
<p>“If we can’t learn from our mistakes, how can we erectify them?”
<p>“He influenced our backsides greatly, Borca did, by, uh, measuring heads…”
<p>“An intelligent woman is about as interesting as a two-headed gorilla” </p>
<p>“Why would the “general” audience care…?”
<p>I dunno. It seems like a lot of people say a lot of stupid things. Even in my AP Government and AP English classes, you still get a lot of numbskulls just spouting off random garbage. I love how the kids who are always classed as being the most intelligent are generally the ones who are too conceited to see past their own stupidity. </p>
<p>On the bright side, they make for some great quote-collecting.</p>
<p>a guy: wait, Austria is the acronym of Australia right? </p>
<p>See the map, for Christ’s sake.</p>
<p>My friend: “Wait, Australia isn’t part of the United States?”
Me: “uh… no.”
My friend: “Ohh okay… what about Fiji?”</p>
<p>Yes this really happened. :/</p>
<p>Maths teacher:</p>
<p>Can I touch you?</p>
<p>context: This guy had sprained his neck and my teacher was telling his neighbour to massage his neck. Hah the other guy refused so the teacher wanted to demonstrate. the guy with the sprained neck was like “uhhh yeah?”. He couldn’t say no. So for the next couple of minutes we all watch as the teacher tries to help this guy who is sitting with a mortified look on his face. AWKWARD.</p>
<p>In history:</p>
<p>cheerleader: “um… what does ‘tar and feathering’ mean? Is that like when you get a big feather and tickle them until they die?”</p>
<p>i didn’t witness these…i just heard about them from my friends in the ap bio class.</p>
<p>apparently they were having some discussion about raw eggs…
girl: what about egg salad? egg salad is raw eggs!</p>
<p>later from a different girl in the ap bio class: you know that guy al qaeda?</p>
<p>When I was tutoring for APUSH:</p>
<p>Student: Do we need to know any major wars?</p>
<p>Me: You don’t need to know them in depth. Just know the events the led to them and the impact they made. You could skip over the battles themselves, just make sure you know the turning point battles of for example, the American Revolution… </p>
<p>Student: What’s the one w/ the Greeks, right?</p>
<p>Me: <em>slowly backs away</em></p>
<p>We were learning about the Spanish conquest of the Native americans in the 1600s or whenever, and this one girl goes; “This may be a stupid question, but who was the President of the U.S. at this time?”</p>
<p>Best quote from history: Did they have winter in the middle ages?</p>
<p>In my old IB chemistry class with the teacher writing notes on the board.
“Are we suppose to be taking notes?”
I wanted to slap myself. Thank god I switched out of that class before more stupidity from that student ensues.</p>
<p>A guy is telling everyone about a trip he’ll make to London, and complaining about how expansive the flights are:
A girl asks, seriously: “why don’t you go by bus then?”</p>
<p>“Was there gravity before farming?”</p>
<p>We had this really intense day in Spanish IV and people were arguing about the assignment. One boy just yelled jokingly, “Why don’t we all calm down and then just take French instead?” Everyone looked at him strangely.</p>
<p>Our science teacher has sheep that she shows in competition. She was telling us that one of her sheep won a contest, and we were all happy for her. One student comes in late and has no idea what just happened. She says, “Mrs. B, you’re pregnant?” The teacher just says, “No,” as everyone in the class wonders why that girl would say something stupid like that.</p>
<p>This was in AP Calc:</p>
<p>Students overturn desks as a joke as my AP Calc teacher talks to the principal outside.
Teacher walks in…</p>
<p>Teacher: What the f(x) is going on in here?!!</p>
<p>We all cracked up.</p>
<p>bummmmmmmmmmmp</p>
<p>“If turkey is made out of turkey, then what is bologna made out of?”</p>
<p>Not stupid, but pretty funny. In history class, the TEACHER was reading out the answers for a matching quiz. </p>
<p>Teacher - “F-A-R-T-I-P-M-S-E-D”
<em>class laughs</em>
Teacher - “I didn’t realize that until I just said it…”</p>
<p>From AP Chem: “I get half-life and all that, but what about full-life?”</p>