<p>Someone emailed this to me, thought it was funny. Though it deals mostly with UT and A&M, it brings up the B10 and this whole expansion thing. </p>
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Somewhere, on a campus far, far away, there is a sorority named Chi Iota Ioata. XII for short. They are often called “Big XII” because they are one of the most popular sororities on campus.</p>
<p>The hottest and most popular girl on campus is the social chair in XII. Her name is Teacup Austin, and she pulls the strings in XII. Last year she thought she was a shoo-in for homecoming queen, but some Southern Belle ho named Alli somehow won it instead.</p>
<p>This has got Teacup thinking that maybe XII is dragging her down. After all, she’s the richest, hottest, most stylish girl on campus. Boys don’t choose her – she chooses them. Lately she’s been feeling like she could do better. If she does stay in XII, she shouldn’t have to pay full dues any more. And she should have control of more of the party budget. And they should make her President for life. Duh!</p>
<p>So she’s been thinking about joining another sorority, or maybe just becoming a GDI. Her rep for throwing kickin’ parties is so good she might just do better on her own.</p>
<p>One of XII’s rival sororities is Beta Iota Omicron, BIO. They’re the oldest campus sorority and their house is on the North side of campus, away from the rest of Greek Row. They have a lot of old-money girls and they’re very prestigious, but these days BIO has developed a bland image. They’re seen as boring and old-fashioned. Hell, their last pledge was the frumpiest dresser on campus, Penny.</p>
<p>But now they’re getting tired of sitting on it all the time and being ignored. They need some new blood and honestly maybe they need to put out a little more. Another problem is that there aren’t many fraternity houses on their side of campus. They need a way to meet more South-campus boys so they convince them to come over for mixers.</p>
<p>Well, with Teacup seeming a little unhappy in XII, BIO saw an opportunity for a major coup that could accomplish all their goals at once. Teacup had been chatting them up for a while and who knows, maybe it could be a match. They invited Teacup over with high hopes – but she thought they were too boring. A little chubby and pale, to be honest.</p>
<p>Next Teacup got invited to hang out with PAK, a hip sorority where all the California blondes hang out. So Teacup went to the beach and drank some Mai Tais with PAK, and she loved it. Now THOSE are her kind of girls. Some of them are smart, but they’re also not scared to flash their boobs. Teacup is even thinking she might even make a sex tape, like that Sunny slut from Arizona. That should get her some more attention, right?</p>
<p>Meanwhile, after Teacup snubbed them, BIO started hanging out with XII sisters Tigger and Corny. Really they fit in a lot better with BIO than Teacup does. They’re still cuter than most of the BIO sisters, and their Daddies have some money, especially Corny’s. Corny and Tigger like being hotter than most of their sorority sisters for a change. They’re very tired of that beyatch Teacup and everyone toadying to her, and anyway they’re annoyed with always getting stuck living in the back of the house.</p>
<p>And when word drifted back to the XII house and into Teacup Austin’s ears, it caused the proverbial feces to strike rotating airfoils. It’s one thing for Teacup to flirt with other sororities, but it’s quite another for those chicks in the back of the house to be doing it. Some sisters are more equal than other sisters, after all!</p>
<p>So Teacup calls a meeting and gets XII to issue a warning to her two rebels: make a choice, BIO or us. Oh and by the way, Tigger you should lose the food baby, and Corny, what’s up with the stringy hair?</p>
<p>But Corny and Tigger aren’t too worried about it. They know that XII can only have their fall formal and crown a sorority queen if they have enough members, and they know that XII can’t get two other girls as cool as they are. If XII kicks them out Teacup will probably still be sorority queen, but she won’t get to have a big ceremony. Teacup won’t like that.</p>
<p>Now three of the other girls in XII are hard core Teacup suckups: Sooner Norman, her little sister Pokey, and Lubby. Sooner is the second in charge, and Teacup’s main frenemy. Pokey and Lubby just follow behind
and don’t say much. Nobody really cares that much one way or the other about Pokey and Lubby, but if they’re cute enough and if Teacup wants them to come along, that’s okay with PAK.</p>
<p>On the edge of Teacup’s posse is Bailey, an unpopular girl who some say only got into XII because she’s a legacy. She wants SO bad to be one of the cool girls, but she knows Teacup doesn’t care about her one way or the other. She’s afraid if the sorority splits that Teacup won’t get her invited to the new one.</p>
<p>But she has an ace in the hole – her rich Daddy. He’s telling Bailey-Bear not to cry, he’ll take care of her and she’ll a PAK bid if Teacup goes.</p>
<p>XII also has a crunchy granola girl named Buffy. Of course PAK wants Buffy to come with Teacup. They love her natural good looks and laid-back personality. Plus, a couple of the PAK girls are bi and they’re thinking Buffy is too. Buffy’s into it and hoping for a PAK bid, but that Bailey chick’s rich Daddy might screw it up for her.</p>
<p>But her saving grace just may be Agatha. Aggie is a real hot farmer’s daughter and she’s got a very outgoing personality. She’s very comfortable in her skin and doesn’t much care what others think of her. Most everyone loves her or at least thinks she’s fun to hang out with – except Teacup. And she in turn hates Teacup with the passion of all the rest put together. Everything everyone else hates about Teacup, Aggie REEEEALLLY hates about Teacup.</p>
<p>Aggie also really doesn’t care to become a Cali slut. She just doesn’t have much in common with them. She thinks of herself as a classy Texas gal, but in truth she has a redneck edge when she gets a buzz. She feels much more comfortable with the Southern Belles in Mu Omicron Omicron and she’s hoping MOO will give her a bid. Buffy and Bailey hope that happens too, so they can both have a spot in PAK!</p>
<p>Now Aggie’s favorite thing ever is to F with Teacup. She loves Teacup’s annual tea-sipping party just because she might have an opportunity to ruin it for her. And she knows that if Teacup and her posse bolt for PAK, and she doesn’t go, she might not get invited to Teacup’s party any more.</p>
<p>But, let’s face it. There’s only so much toadying Aggie is willing to do just to get the chance to mess with Teacup every year. Aggie is no Lubby or Pokey. Going to Teacup’s annual tea party isn’t worth all that
sucking up, not to mention hanging out with those obnoxious Cali girls in PAK.</p>
<p>And there are LOTS of cool chicks in MOO who throw kickin’ parties every year. MOO is maybe the most popular sorority on campus and they get more girls crowned homecoming queen than any other – in fact the last three all came from MOO: Alli, Flora, and Aggie’s friend Louisa.</p>
<p>Aggie also hears good things about some other MOO sisters, such as Missy, Audrey and Georgia. There’s a girl named Tennille who’s a little more redneck than the others, but let Aggie pound a few Lone Stars and that’s right up her alley anyway.</p>
<p>Aggie also hears that MOO might bid a couple of other girls she knows: a really hot slutty one named Tally who has big fake boobs and wears skimpy cowgirl outfits, and a cute little Asian chick with librarian glasses named Gitty who lives in a funky urban loft and can help them pass all the tests. Though Gitty’s nerdy enough that she might rather have a bid from BIO.</p>
<p>And the BEST thing about MOO is that they know tons of cool boys. And with the guys she knows in the frat houses near XII, Aggie would be a great fit. Really, when she thinks about it, MOO is sounding pretty good to Aggie!</p>
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<p>Kind of funny story, I think it originated on A&M’s Scout blog or something.</p>