Boomerang kids: 85% of college grads move home

Parents Forum
101

<p>Right now my DD is on the other side of the globe on a gap year program - we finally had a long phone convo with her (long story) last week, after she was away for five weeks. We will probably not see her till May. Ergo, we are NOT helicopter parents.</p>

<p>However - assuming things go as planned, she will be graduating in June 2016 with a bachelors in architecture. Not the most lucrative field. If she should happen to get a full time position in greater Washington (where we live) I A. will be delighted B. will strongly encourage her to move in with us till she has saved up a fair amount. We MIGHT charge her nominal rent, or alternatively, might simply insist on her letting us know how much she is saving. Or charge rent and put it into account for her. </p>

<p>If (heaven forbid) the economic outlook for architects resembles what it is now, and most new arch grads can at best get part time or temporary gigs, we will be thankful that we live in a major metro area she can live for free while building up experience. </p>

<p>If she has a choice say, between living at home in DC and working part time in Arch while pursuing full time, and working full time in a non-arch job in say NYC while pursuing an Arch job (as many are doing) we will go over the costs and benefits of each path with her. </p>

<p>I never moved back home after age 17, but I considered it. I was living/working in Florida when I was 25, and was looking in NYC, where my parents lived. Had I gotten a job in NYC, I would probably have moved home for at least a couple of months (with my parents strong encouragement) while I looked for a place of my own. In NYC, with its byzantine rent control laws, and relatively opaque real estate market, the advantages of doing so would have been higher, I think, than in most metro areas. </p>

<p>My own parents lived with each of my sets of grandparents WHILE they were married. </p>

<p>While there is something to be said for being 22 and in an apartment, its not the only way to grow to adulthood, any more than going to college is, or living in a dorm is, or whatever.</p>

102

<p>I think the reality of this statistic can best be estimated by subtracting the 65% (2006) from the 85% (2010) to estimate that 20% more college grads are unemployed at graduation. Given the economy, that statistical change does not seem unreasonable at all. </p>

<p>That being said, we may see this cultural shift for some time to come. The emphasis on independence that was once affordable is now, in many cases, financially ill advised. </p>

<p>In other parts of the world where families live together more frequently, saving money is the family norm. In modern America, debt is the financial norm.</p>

<p>Unless our economy returns to a state of real economic growth (as opposed to the false signals of deficit spending) 18 year old independence may be a thing of the past.</p>

<p>Good thing we all like our kids…</p>

103

<p>I feel that this is a cultural issue. I am very comfortable with my children moving back in with us if they ever feel the need. I do not feel that this is an indication that they have ‘failed’. Where I grew up, living with your parents until you got married was commonplace(and still is). I think that western society, in general, is somewhat hung up on the “Leave when you are eighteen” concept. Lots of these boomerang kids go on to become independent and successful later on in their lives. I think I would be rather happy if my daughter moved back for a while…it would be fun to have a young person around the house.</p>

104

<p>"Unless our economy returns to a state of real economic growth (as opposed to the false signals of deficit spending) "</p>

<p>high unemployment, low capacity utilization, interest rates at the zero bound, and sub trend economic growth are not “true signals”. Lets not privilege them as such, or dismiss the desirability of Keynsian measures on that ground.</p>

105

<p>I am not a student of economics and won’t pretend to understand Brooklynborndad’s post but I will say that in my area there are adults (including myself) working in jobs that were filled by much younger adults before this recent economy.<br>
In our small town the mayor of the town who had a financial consulting business semi retired and works as a cashier at the drug store (for instance). This certainly makes it harder for younger adults to find work at any level…</p>

106

<p>

</p>

<p>Sorry to be so blunt, but the above quote makes your dad sound like a mean jerk, to be frank. Who expresses such a complete lack of support and confidence in their offspring? No wonder you never went back under his roof.</p>

107

<p>105, yes, and thats possible despite “real economic growth”. In normal times, we have a certain level of average economic growth - what economists call “trend economic growth”. The economy does not run out of workers, because the labor force grows (with our population, which is still growing at close to 1% a year) and because productivity grows. Ergo, we need ABOVE trend line growth - above 2.5% per year growth in economic activity, roughly - to bring down unemployment. To bring it down quickly, we would need much faster growth, probably close to 4% or above. With consumers still using such income gains as they have largely to pay down debt and rebuild savings, rather than purchase goods and services, we are not likely to get that anytime soon. Ergo, UE will likely decline very slowly for the next few years.</p>

108

<p>Nothing wrong with it IMO. Frankly you’d have to be an idiot to blow tons of money on rent, especially if you aren’t in a ‘career job,’ when you have the option of living cheaply/free at your parent’s home. No it isn’t “cool” but who gives a damn?</p>

<p>I hope that when I graduate uni I’ll get a job that will let me afford an apartment at a reasonable price, but if I don’t then I’ll definitely be staying at my mom or dad’s until I find a good paying job.</p>

109

<p>^^ and, should that happen, I do hope that you will conduct yourself in such a way that they are thrilled to have you!</p>

110

<p>^Mafool I think most parents know just which kids they could tolerate living at home, and which ones they couldn’t. By the time they are seniors in college it usually seems clear. It may not be the best situation, but there is nothing terribly wrong with having a nice adult kid home for a while. They move on and do well. I see it with my oldest who works very hard, saves a great deal of money and is no trouble at all. He is mature, kind, considerate, appreciative, and helpful. He lives his own life but his bed is in our home. No big deal.</p>

111

<p>MM3- I have one of those kids who would be a pleasure to have around. I know just what you are saying.</p>

112

<p>This is a cultural thing & very much part of our times.</p>

<p>I have been doing my family’s genealogy and when reading the censuses, I used to be, but am no longer, surprised to see 3, 4, 5, unmarried adults living in the home of their youth with their parents or a widowed parent, and I am talking about men who went to college and grad school, & were practicing lawyers and stock brokers. </p>

<p>I also have seen a great deal of elder parents living with their grown children & the child’s families—well, we all knew that was the norm in the past. </p>

<p>The truth is, until rather recently, families expected to live together until the kids married, and even then the grown kids expected Mom or Dad or both to live with them when the time came. Or else a grown kid moved “back” into the parent’s house & kept it after the elder died. </p>

<p>These families never had an empty nest!</p>

113

<p>I have duties and obligations toward my family that I am happy to take on, but I really don’t want to spend my professional years living with my parents in our one bedroom apartment.</p>

<p>Having a large single all throughout college has spoiled me, and made me feel entitled to my own space.</p>

<p>Also: coming home at ungodly hours, relationships, etc.</p>

<p>I’ll run away to grad school if I have to.</p>

114

<p>

</p>

<p>Of course not. It’s really difficult for more than two people to share a one-bedroom apartment. If you like having your own space, you would probably be happier in a studio apartment by yourself or a larger apartment with a roommate.</p>

115

<p>I’m not surprised at all by this statistic, and I also find nothing wrong with it. I agree, it’s completely stupid to move into an apartment if you can’t afford it. These days we just have to take whatever kind of job we can find, so many of us might be facing part-time hours or lower than normal pay for whatever jobs we can find with our degree. There’s no shame in living with mom and dad (if they let you).</p>

<p>If this happens to me, and I can afford it, I’ll definitely offer to pay them at least a little bit for letting me stay.</p>

<p>P.S.: grad school doesn’t seem to be a smart answer to not being able to afford to live by yourself or not being able to find a job. I’ll never understand why people will pay more money and get themselves into even more debt because they’re having trouble finding a job. Go to grad school only if you really want to and if it will really help you.</p>

116

<p>I get a kick out of those parents who say “when I graduated from college back in the day, I had my own place and my own job right away, so today’s kids should do that too” etc etc, somehow assuming that today’s economic realities are the same as they were 30 or 40 years ago. Let’s get real, we all know they aren’t. Probably a lot of us patronize businesses that have moved their workforce offshore over the past decade or two, and lo and behold, it’s come to bite us on our backsides. I’ve heard that attorneys are the latest profession that they are outsourcing overseas. Will it ever stop? There is almost no such thing as an entry-level job anymore, and we baby boomers are in no hurry to step aside. Honestly, what are these college grads supposed to do? Rather than blame our kids for being lazy or unresourceful, we have to be clear that we’ve had a hand in the world they’ve inherited. I think that’s another reason why most parents are so amenable to helping their kids out.</p>

<p>Also - I was one of those kids who was expected to leave the house by age 22, so I did, moving across the country to find a job. It was a rough and lonely couple of years, and I survived, but did not thrive from being so far from home. The American way isn’t necessarily the best way.</p>

117

<p>Yeah I agree, I think the percentage of people who move back is high, but it is NOT 85%</p>

118

<p>I think that maybe the survey should have been taken in September after a May/June graduation. That would weed out kids who are only home for the summer before going to law school, grad school, jobs that started later that summer or in the fall, fellowships, etc.</p>

<p>For example, my kid would have had to report that she was moving back into the family homestead after college graduation. But she was only home for 3 weeks before she was off to a fellowship.</p>

119

<p>My son is very lucky to be in a situation that doesn’t require immediate results. He just finished week one of a new part-time job. It’s very promising because it’s a win-win: he likes the work (financial) and he’ll get lots of responsibility. For now, he’s only working a few days a week. All that is good as my son can easily feel overwhelmed. If he wasn’t living at home, he would never be able to take on this job and mature with it.</p>

120

<p>Our S is living home. He pays all of his expenses (car repair, inspection, insurance, new tires etc.), student loans, insurance (health,dental), retirement and entertainment. Additionally he pays a small rent to us. He is basically supporting himself very cheaply. He is also required to contribute to household chores because he is living here.</p>

<p>I don’t feel like we are still supporting our 24 yr old son. But I do think it would be better if he was living on his own.</p>