<p>My boyfriend will be attending the U.S. Naval Academy next year. We have been dating for over two years and plan to stay together. I plan to stay in California (we are from San Diego) and go to either Santa Clara University (i'm poor, haha, but i got a lot of money from scu) or one of the UCs. Anyway, I can't imagine a life without him, but four years seems like such a long time. I just don't know if I can handle it. He is a very optimistic person, so he'll be fine. But, I am very emotionally volatile. He's allowing me to pursue whatever I want (sexually, I suppose) so long as I remain in a relationship with him. I offered him the same option, but he doesn't want it. I'm not really sure what I'm asking. I know I'll never leave him. I guess I'm just wondering if there is any one else in a similar situation.</p>
<p>I have a friend who has been at the Naval Academy for 2 years. Expect your boyfriend to change a lot. Not in a bad way, but he wont be the same person you know.</p>
<p>I wish you luck, but these high school relationships almost never work out. It is usually better for both parties to just end it before freshman year of college. This might not be the news you want to hear but you both will most likely be single within 2 years</p>
<p>Move with him. Try to get into to a college in Maryland. I don’t understand, you said you will never leave him, yet you are staying in Cali and don’t want to be near him?</p>
<p>I will never break up with him. That’s what I meant. He’s making the decision to go to the Naval Academy. Why should I let it affect me? I’m not ready to move so far away from my family.</p>
<p>Change in what way? He is already so similar to a Naval Academy type of person that I doubt he will change. I feel like I’m really the only variable. I’d be the one to **** things up.</p>
<p>DON’T move with him. That will for sure end in tears. His time will be very restricted, especially plebe year.</p>
<p>So wait, what is your question?</p>
<p>And USNA is a really misogynistic place, the attitude many midshipmen have towards women is very toxic, I hope your boyfriend is strong and realizes not to be like that.</p>
<p>I know you said you will never break up with him, that’s why I said you should be there so there’s no chance of you guys breaking up. I mean somethings gotta give. It’s either moving to MD with him or staying in Cali without him. Although you guys can see each other during breaks, it wont be the same. In the end just do what’s best for both of you.</p>
<p>I guess I just wanted to talk to somebody who has experienced something similar. Oh, trust me, he’s not. I pretty much wear the pants in the relationship, which is not necessarily a good thing, but we have two very different yet complementary personalities.</p>
<p>No, I’m not going to move. I’m recovering from an eating disorder right now, so I need to be close by my family.</p>
<p>My roommates bf just went to basic and it’s driving her nuts. She still loves him and still wants to be with him but doesn’t know if she really wants to be a military gf, which is understandable…if you two both are willing to put forth the effort to maintain a long distance relationship, then I say go for it! Take a little of his optimism, sounds like you need it:)</p>
<p>I understand where you’re coming from. Though I haven’t personally experienced this, my sister is your age and her boyfriend just left for the marines this past summer.</p>
<p>I would urge you to be less… sure of everything. If you are committed to staying with him, fine. But you are setting yourself and the relationship up for failure by acting like you know how he is or isn’t going to change, who is or isn’t going to mess things up, etc and so forth. You know nothing. Everything is probably going to change. Can you change together? Yes, of course. But expectations are appointments with resentment. So just be ready for the possibility that he will be changed, because he very likely will be-- and so will you, and take that change as it comes. That’s the only way it’s going to work out, and that goes for any relationship at our age-- we ALL go through huge changes at this age even without something like the military to mold us.</p>
<p>I wish you luck on your recovery. Good for you for making the choice to stay near your family if that’s what you need.</p>
<p>
This threw me for a loop. I wouldn’t imagine your relationship would last long if you were sexually active with other men.</p>
<p>Listen to what Emaheevul said. Every couple thinks they are ready for long distance college relationships when in reality pretty much none of them are, especially with this large of a distance</p>
<p>I wouldn’t recommend going to college in Maryland either. The Naval Academy is strict with things such as visitation so you would still rarely see him. College is a major growing point in every young adults life and because of this most people change from the kid they were into the adult they will become. Going to West Point or the Navy only intensifies this.</p>
<p>I have multiple friends that are either serving or go to service academies. ALL OF THEM have changed much more than anyone else I know, but I will say that they have all changed for the better. By holding on to old relationships with high school friends and boyfriends you are only harming yourself and stunting your growth as an individual. </p>
<p>Ask yourself this. What is the ultimate goal of your relationship? You will barely see him for 4 years, 4 of the most exciting years of your life, and after that he will probably have to work in the Navy and then you could see him even less. Are you willing to put aside 7 or more years of your life to wait for him when he is finished and get by with the occasional visit? Your high school self may say yes but most likely it is not the case.</p>
<p>So, you are not willing to move. How will your relationship work when he is stationed in Hawaii, Virginia, Illinois, Rhode Island, or Diego Garcia?</p>
<p>“I will never break up with him”</p>
<p>At that I simply wonder if I should help or just let you figure that one out on your own.</p>
<p>I’m in a similar situation. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years or so, and I’m going to Penn and he’s thinking ND right now. I honestly don’t really know what to do, but at this exact moment, my mindset is kind of this (a mentor of my mine had a son who stayed in a long distance relationship for four years):</p>
<p>Do you really want to stay attached to a phone for the next four years of life? If you do plan on staying loyal to him, you’ll be spending a lot of time skyping/on the phone and in order to put in that kind of time, you’ll have to detract from partying/meeting new people. And guess what? Four years later, unless you plan on being a housewife, you’re going to have to hold on even longer, because he’ll have to serve and you’ll (most likely) want a job. And I doubt in six years you guys will be in the same mental space you are in, now. People change and grow and rarely parallel each other in this growth. And you guys are going to be experiencing–unlike now–completely different things; you won’t be able to relate to things he’s going through and vice versa. And if you do break up, you’re going to realize you just wasted four years of your life chasing a boy, and you’re not going to have met anyone else. </p>
<p>I agree it’s definitely your choice, but I’ve battled with this for the past six months and I know how you feel. It’s been one of the hardest choices in the world, but I’ve come to realize that it’s not going to work. And it took a couple of hard lessons and anecdotes from a few people to realize it. Just something to consider.</p>
<p>Having a relationship when one is at ND and the other at Penn is tough but still nothing like having a boy friend live on the complete opposite coast while attending a strict academy</p>
<p>He will be there 4 years and as said elsewhere he will have to be stationed almost immediately after graduation for several more years. I’m not sure you realize the level of commitment it would take for your relationship to keep working</p>