Thank you!
Georgetown could be considered a reach school. You should go for it if you really want to go there.
Where to attend college is a decision that you should make with your head, not your heart. A couple of factors to consider are:
- total cost of attendance of your undergrad education - compare COA of a TN in-state university vs Georgetown w/financial aid (assuming you're eligible for financial aid)
- Grad school/medical school - this costs a lot. If med school is the goal, then you should aim to keep undergrad costs as low as possible so you don't end up owing 2 arms and a leg after med school...you'll only owe 1 arm and a leg.
If you want to get into med school, go to the school where you can get the best GPA. And, unless your parents are rich or you want to spend half your life in debt, go to the most affordable undergrad school. It sounds like UT Honors would be a good choice for you, regardless of the boyfriend. If you like it, go there. Go ahead and apply to Georgetown and other schools and see if you get in. Decide later.
I don’t think anyone else has mentioned this…
While there is no guarantee that you’ll be admitted to Georgetown undergrad, it has this program. https://premed.georgetown.edu/undergraduates/eap It’s unusual, to say the least. I know someone who chose Georgetown because he’s a great student but struggles with standardized tests. Went straight from Georgetown to med school without having to take the MCAT. For him, that was worth a lot.
So, IF YOU GET IN, keep this program in mind in choosing a college.
- I am not a believer in "dream" colleges or in "dream" boyfriends. If you have a choice between Georgetown and UT (or Vanderbilt, or Rhodes, or Belmont, or wherever), make your decision based on what each offers specifically, and how that fits into your life and plans. If your relationship with your boyfriend matters to you, you really won't have a choice but to take that into account, but it should hardly be the one determining factor.
- While I, too, know some high school couples that married and stayed married, they are the exception, not the rule. No matter how mature you are now, it is by far the most likely outcome that you break up during college, whether you live where you can see each other every day or you live 1,000 miles apart most of the year. It's true that if he's "the one," distance won't matter, but I also think it's true that there isn't any "one." There are any number of people in the world with whom you can have a wonderful, loving relationship, and chances are you will wind up married to one of those people some day. It may be your current boyfriend, it more likely won't be. That's not sad, really -- both of you can have great, happy lives regardless.
Most people graduating from high school know instinctively that they have not yet met the most important people in their lives, apart from their families.
- "We both believe in abstinence . . . ." I know you are presenting that as evidence of maturity and seriousness. But, honestly, as small as the chances are that you stay together through college, the chances that both of you maintain that position over the next five years are even smaller. And if you get out of phase on that . . . . That's a really unstable situation.
- At the right time, you may have to decide what matters most to you. And you may have to accept that there's no guarantee you aren't making a mistake, whichever path you choose. It helps if it's not going to be a big mistake. Tennessee vs. Georgetown can't be a big mistake; either one can work perfectly well with your life goals.
This. The rest of JHS’s advice is spot on as well.
Dream college – my daughters boyfriend is going to the army, they too have been together since freshman year. You will always wonder and what if you break up?? And you gave up your dream.
NEVER pass up a school like Georgetown for a boyfriend/girlfriend. NEVER.
My boyfriend went to Northwestern and I went to Occidental College and we did a LDR without the internet! Lots of letter writing and long phone calls in my dorm hallway, lol! Guess what? We’ve been married over 20 years – if the relationship is strong, and you skype, facetime and visit when you can you will make it. I found too that I was able to better focus on my studies while we were apart. Apply first, talk about your worries, concerns, and then see where you get in. Georgetown is an amazing school!
Thank all of you so much! You’re right, Georgetown’s where I should go, if accepted!
Perhaps… but make sure that GT is not a financial hardship for your parents. It usually often makes sense to pick a less expensive school, especially if there are possible med school costs in the future. (Also it is good to pick useful major since not all pre-med students continue. Some don’t get accepted, and others just
decide it is not their cup of tea.)
The truth is that none of us know what the future hold. You need to make what you truly believe is the best decision based off the information you have at the time. RIght now, you’ve been given a lot of information that you need to take into consideration.
(FTR - I almost chose a college based off a guy. In the end, I realized one of the things I loved most about the school was him and that it wasn’t the school for me. We broke up that summer and it had nothing to do with the school and everything to do with a life-changing event in his life. So glad we weren’t at the same small school together that fall!)
My advice to young people is to always keep as many opportunities as possible open for as long as possible.
Right now the decision is where to apply to college, not where to go to college. Apply to all the colleges in which you may be interested. Six months or so from now you will see what your opportunities actually are and will be able to make a more informed decision.
Right now the only decision that has to be made is the college application list. Create a list that increases the potential for opportunities, not limits them.
Just wanted to comment on how gracious the OP has been about accepting all the feedback from us parents. I don’t know about the BF, but she sure seems mature, online at least.
If the title was “Dream Boyfriend v. College” you might get some different answers.
If you’re planning to go to med school, maybe a school less expensive than Georgetown would be the way to go.
Have you run the NPC on Georgetown? Is it affordable for your parents?
Run the NPC on Rhodes, Vandy, Davidson, Emory, Emory Oxford, Agnes Scott, Belmont (if you like DC: American, GWU). See which ones are within budget. Apply to UT Honors as well as several affordable colleges (you can even ED Georgetown and apply UT Honors right now IF the NPC indicates G’town is affordable - check with your parents). Make the decision once you have several acceptances.
We will be able to afford Georgetown! I’m so grateful for all of the wonderful advice I’ve received!!!
I would just note that believing in abstinence argues for being farther apart, not closer together.
If this is THE RELATIONSHIP…then it will stand up to a LDR. If you are destined to be together, you will.
However, many of us parents see relationships go into college and not last to Thanksgiving…there is even a name for it…the Turkey Drop.
Also, as adults we have seen HSers swear this is “THE ONE”…but also they have not met very many people yet.
My sister in law chose a college based on her boyfriend…they broke up and she was stuck in Buffalo.
I also saw a kid turn down Oxford to be with his gf…they are not still together.
Go to your dream college (or at least choose a list of colleges for your own sake) and if your relationship can stand it, then great! if not, then you will have not given up your life for a HS bf.