Bring Back Strict Rules and Formal Dress Codes!

Prep School Admissions
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Senior at Exeter here. Gonna get right into it: I think a lax dress code is doing far more harm than good, especially at a school with an environment like Exeter.

The theme that the modern media boarding school reputation has been built on is, essentially, a harsh challenge presented to students in large brick/stone buildings in the New England winter (see DPS, etc).

Now, this overall theme has led to student mental health problems over the last few hundred years, which has culminated in a culture shift in the recent past: no uniforms, less strict punishments, steps taken to improve staff-student relationships.

Yet, here’s the truth: Exeter, Andover and truly “elite” prep schools pride themselves on their rigor and their prestige, and for a reason. The workload that the schools give - hours of homework every night from each class and the difficult sports and extracurriculars that most students engage in - have resulted in an austere environment amongst the student body, propagated (in part) by faculty. This is part of that aforementioned “boarding school theme”, and it is not going away.

I believe that what the lax rules are doing is not helping; in fact, it is hurting. Students no longer feel the seriousness of attending a school like Exeter; they dress the same as any regular public school, they get off easy when breaking rules, they treat teachers as friends. Yet, the workload and pressure is that of an Ivy League university, if not worse. Resultantly, we have a clash where students are made to feel that they are normal, but they are expected to do the extraordinary. This does not create an environment where anyone can be happy.

If we went back to guidelines like mandatory dress shirts and ties and stricter policies, I believe that students would have a far easier time identifying what their experience truly is and what is expected of them, and students would be happier.

Unfortunately, the mental health perils are simply a result of rigor. If a school wishes to retain its academic excellence and prioritize student mental health, all it can do is make sure it picks students who are truly ready for the challenge.

Let me know what you all think.

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So to be consistent with this logic, Ivy League schools should adopt a strict dress code as well?

God forbid they dress like other teens.

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As long as a school is dedicated to the core principles of education and learning, it doesn’t neccesarily need to have a strict enviornment. Effective learning doesn’t need to happen alongside fancy uniforms and strict punishments, and an overly authoritative enviornment can easily be detrimental to that object. I mean, why else do schools like Exeter embrace teaching methods like Harkness, over the conventional lecture style of teaching? Surely the latter would fit the “boarding school theme” more closely.

Then we also have the issue of wealth imbalance. Unless a school provides a uniform to be worn every day (which would either result in students spending more than needed on laundry since it would have to be washed each day, or having a really smelly student body), they would have to implement a dress code that mandates formal dress, and shifting the burden of providing that formal dress to the students’ families. This is kind of a slap in the face to the whole principle of financial aid, as I don’t think I even need to say that a lot of families who are on full scholarship will not already have wardrobes that meet such a dress code, and will have to buy it themselves, which comes at a price. Yes, schools like Andover and Exeter do have some days where formal dress is required, but they’re occassional enough to where you likely won’t need more than one formal outfit - whereas under stricter dress codes, poorer families would have to buy them for every day of the week. How can Exeter remain committed to “youth from every quarter” when simply having clothes needed for class could present a serious financial burden?

Furthermore, “pick[ing] students who are truly ready for the challenge” sounds good, until you realize that if your opinion becomes reality, you’d just be recruiting a large pool of dry, depressing, workaholics, because I’m really struggling to see what other personalities would actively want to be in, and survive in, the enviornment you’ve presented as optimal. I mean, if Exeter was what you wanted it to be, I wouldn’t have even bothered to apply - nor Andover, nor any of the other schools.

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I, for one, understand where you are coming from
 and I feel for you. Maybe bringing back a dress code will help in a variety of ways. DS goes to Choate and grew up with a uniform his entire schooling
 he misses it. I guess you could start a trend? Take a stand? maybe you already are? Rally other kids at other BS? Good for you for speaking your mind. I support you!

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I don’t think students at Deerfield have an easier time understanding what is expected of them or are happier or have less mental health issues. The change to a more informal dress code at Exeter is relatively recent. As an outsider looking in, I don’t think the dress code resulted in the school going to hell in a handcart. If there are issues, it won’t be resolved by a mire formal dress code.

Having said that, nobody is preventing students from dressing up

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If the way you are dressing makes you feel in the wrong frame of mind for class, dress differently! I know people in all walks of life who make wardrobe choices for the benefit of their mindset.

I also know people who create their own “uniform”. It simplifies their wardrobe and choices each morning and it allows them to project an image of their choosing as well as ensuring they are appropriately dressed for their role.

You don’t need to wait for someone to impose this on you, and indeed should not if you feel that your own wardrobe choices are detrimental to your personal discipline.

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It’s rigorous whether you’re wearing a tuxedo or a bikini.

I agree with your comment on the main, but, not having a dress code or uniform manifests the SES issue in a different way. It becomes about labels, vs not. Canada Goose vs not. Gucci slides vs not. On and on. I think you can “hide” in a cheap coat and tie more
easily than you can when standing next to a hype beast in your not-hype beast clothes. To be clear I still completely disagree with the OP, just noting that “wear what you want” definitely creates stark SES contrasts.

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I am currently visiting an Ivy League university and attend a non-Ivy elite school, and both the students here and at my own school dress casually, break rules with little consequence, and treat teachers as friends. I don’t think that’s really had much of an impact on either school’s rigor or the academic pressure that students face—it certainly didn’t at the boarding school I attended, which was similar.

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Bring Back Strict Rules and Formal Dress Codes!

Someone changed the title, which may not be exactly what the OP is proposing. But if it is, we should also bring back matrons to take care of the clothes and make the bed. And wait staff in the dining hall for the daily formal meals. Oh, and let’s return to all-boys - all of whom are from wealthy families, white, straight, and Christian (preferably Protestant).

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Most people are stating similar things, while missing the core point of what I’m saying.

That’s exactly my point. Other teens have a completely different high school experience. You are telling a high school student that has 10x more pressure and workload than the average student that they are normal. This puts them in a place where they are neither ‘like other teens’ nor a serious student at a serious school. I’m not saying that we should go back to the 50s, I’m just saying that there is a fundamental clash.

Not what I’m saying. Reread my original post. Not going to respond to the rest of your points because they are blatant generalizations and lack logic.

It’s not about issues with the school. It’s about the student body getting away from what makes sense. I don’t see how it’s so controversial to suggest that an elite boarding school with a rigorous workload having some order and authority might have positive impacts on the student body.

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5 years ago I might have been slightly on your side. However, after my offspring chose to go to a school with a less formal dress code and I realized it took nothing away from his experience and the seriousness with which he and his classmates took their studies and responsibilities, I am sold that attire just doesn’t matter. This from a parent who had Exeter’s slightly more formal dress code (collared shirt vs. hoodie) as a check in the “plus” column when deciding between it and another school. I had to wear a jacket and tie in high school (catholic)so when the kid said he would not even consider Deerfield because of its dress code, I was surprised.

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Of course they are easier on rules. It’s college, and fully grown adults. I’m simply comparing the academic rigor, as the Ivy League tends to be a standard in that department.

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Ah, yes, Exeter - chock full of precocious geniuses sweating all night in the Lab, working 10X harder than the plebes at the Public.

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A reminder that CC is supposed to be a friendly and welcoming place.

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Is it desirable to add to the pressure and workload by having them have to take their dressy clothes to the dry cleaner often?

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Having attended one of these schools, I can tell you that unless the parents have paid for pick up and delivery service, those clothes aren’t going to the cleaners. :joy:

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Yup and for sure crumpled shirts, ties, and jackets look waaaaay worse than a t-shirt and jeans.

OP: not sure what you’re on about or why, but you seem to be conflating all sorts of things which you’ve determined are interconnected.

They’re not.

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There are some very rigorous boarding schools that require formal dress and some that don’t. There are some 
 much less 
 rigorous boarding schools that require formal dress and some that don’t. Exeter and Andover have decided on the culture of their schools. This creates choice for the consumer (parent, student, teacher, administrator, etc). Choice is a good thing, people can vote with their feet/wallets.

You may think that Exeter and Andover are the tippiest toppest boarding schools in the land but there are other extremely high quality schools that are every bit as good (fine, you can say very nearly as good if you like) as those two institutions. Perhaps they don’t have quite the same brand in the public mind. Your hypothesis is that formal dress may impact mental health outcomes (specifically that students would be happier). Is your hypothesis borne out by the data? What are the mental health outcomes at similar schools with more formal dress? Hypotheses are good to have 
 but they need to be tested.

Lastly, if you’re preparing for a debate on this topic and trying identify potential counter-arguments, good for you. Getting a multitude of perspectives is valuable.

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On a recent visit to PEA, I chatted with some faculty and as far as student mental wellness goes they suggested the situation at Exeter is somewhat bleak.

Student stress is a material issue at Exeter reflecting the hyper competitive nature of those that attend. Only so many Exeter grads can get into the top Ivy schools as opposed to the old days when Harvard, Yale and Princeton alone might take 30, 40, 50+ Exeter students.

The faculty seem under a decent amount of pressure themselves as they’re trying to balance serving the needs of the students with guidance, innovative teaching and handing out excellent grades so the students can get into top notch colleges.

A dress code won’t change much if anything.

My solution would be for the school to offer meaningful diversions that are educational in nature, are fun to participate in and give the students a break from constant studying.

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