<p>What a difference a day makes...(or weekend). My D's initial let down is fading. I should have given her more credit, she just needed time. The kind words and understanding I received here has been extremely helpful, thanks. All I'm left to struggle with is how became old enough to have a child going off to college.</p>
<p>UCSC is a great school and wil have the added bonus of being a brand new place to explore...</p>
<p>Best wishes to your D!</p>
<p>Oh good!! Well, this is good counsel to other parents coming behind you in this situation. Now you have to stick around and share your story! </p>
<p>I heard a song on the radio that made me think of kids in this position:
"There's a Rose
In a fisted Glove
and the eagle flies
with the dove
and if you can't be
with the one you love
it's alright
Go ahead and love the one,
love the one,
love the one your with
love the one,
love the one,
love the one your with"</p>
<p>Several years ago our D had to deal with rejections from her two favorite choices. It was painful to watch, and I just wanted to sit down and cry with her! Instead I gave her lots of hugs and acknowledged her great disappointment. She's now a sophomore in college and extremely happy; it seems that she landed at a school that is just perfect for her. (And having a boyfriend there doesn't hurt either!) </p>
<p>It seems that our kids do adjust quickly. I'm sure you all have read those studies that talk about how soon a second choice school becomes "THE" school for a student once they land on the campus.</p>
<p>Being a parent doesn't seem to get any easier as they grow older! (Btw, we DON'T grow older. Nope. They may get old enough to go to college, but I'm sure I can't be as old as their ages may imply ... right?)</p>
<p>Order her a UCSC shirt that she can proudly wear. (A kind parent suggested that to me last year) </p>
<p>Promise--Next year she will be happy where she is and "can't imagine being anywhere else".</p>
<p>HI,
Last year my son received 2 rejections and two waitlist letters in one day.I felt so terrible that I burst into tears! We did not appeal the rejections, but went into high gear for the wait list schools. IN early June he heard from BC that he had a place if he wanted it. That was his #1 choice. Anyway during the period of April to June we went to the schools where he was accepted and helped him get excited about them. Try to be as positive as possible and let her know you are not disappointed with her. It will work out and she will end up where she belongs.She will recover more quickly than you!
Son #2 will begin the application process next year. I have learned not to praise or fall in love exclusively w/ one school. Keep things low key as to not give your child a false belief that they will get in where they want and perhaps deserve to go. I guess it it true what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Good luck with everything.</p>
<p>Sure wish I found this site during applications filing. It is comforting to me hear others who have been down this road. Not only has my daughter found her place, I've found mine- - on these boards! Best of everything to all of you!</p>
<p>Sure wish I found this site during applications filing. It's comforting for me to hear from others who've been down this road. Not only has my daughter found her place, I've found mine- - on these boards! Best of everything to all of you!</p>
<p>BTW </p>
<p>UCSC is a great school and SC is a fun town. The residential colleges make a huge UC experience manageable, intimate.</p>
<p>My D has two close friends there loving it. </p>
<p>The UC admissions seem rather capricious--- we know lots of kids who got the exact reverse results of their friends-- yes UCLA & no UCB vs. no UCLA yes UCB.... hard to figure it.</p>
<p>recommend an overnight to UCSC...it's all about fit, and if she has a great time, she'll forget about your local school in the Sacto Valley. However, as I posted before, UCSC has a high transfer out rate, so many kids find the fit isn't after they get there.</p>
<p>One other thought is to explore Merced. While fall admissions are closed, winter may still be an option. It might be fun to be one of the first graduating classes, and, bcos all the faculty and staff are new, everyone can bond together. But, just a suggestion. </p>
<p>Or, how about Cal State Monterey...mom can go shopping in nearby Carmel. LOL</p>
<p>bluebayou, where are you getting your stats about UCSC's transfer out rate? What are the TORs at other UCs?</p>
<p>Last year my daughter was rejected from her dream school. We went through the appeals process and she is now attending her dream school. (She will apply to her major next year.) She received an Articulation Agreement, a very difficult process, but she worked very hard and is now in the right place for her. We know a bunch of kids who were disappointed with their acceptances but wound up in schools that they now love. And we know some kids who went into schools with great financial aid packages that they aren't so crazy about. But with all of them...they can try and transfer, if they want...or go for their dream...or take a look around and see that they were truly accepted by their best choice. By the way, one of my daughter's friends was bitterly disappointed that she didn't get into UCSD, and "only" got into Santa Cruz. She went up for the weekend. Loved it. She loves Santa Cruz.</p>
<p>It is important to let your child know that schools don't reject; they just don't accept everyone. Everyone who applies generally has a reasonable expectation of being accepted -- scores in the right range, GPA, EC, etc. -- but only a set number are going to be accepted. Those acceptances may be based on criteria over which the student has no control: geography, ethnicity, gender, probable major, etc.</p>
<p>Life is a gamble. If we don't apply for or seek opportunities the answer will always be "No." In seeking opportunites we add the chance of being told "Yes."</p>
<p>This is a difficult lesson for most of my students, but those who begin to understand that a "No" is not a condemnation are more willing to take risks in seeking opportunities. They become the foreign exchange students. They secure fascinating internships. They are accepted at reach schools. They also are told "No" many times.</p>
<p>If it truly is the only school choice that makes sense, pursue it. If this is a matter of wounded pride and embarrassment, help her to get past this.</p>