Bummed Out

Student Lounge College Life
21

<p>"I know but that fear is so strong that I just tend to get nervous. That fear keeps stopping me from doing what I know whats good for me. It almost feels like this fear has a grip over my body and I cant seem to relax or be easy around strangers.</p>

<p>In the mean time, I also need to start being postive about myself no matter what I may feel down about, I should try to look at the bright side of things or otherwise I would be upset all the time."</p>

<p>You are in fear because all of that is outside of your comfort zone. You aren't used to doing everything you want to...so the only way to go about is to not dwell on the outcome, but just to act. Act before you can get your mind to stop you. Your instincts will automatically try to prevent you from doing something new because it isn't used to it...you have to trick it. You won't be happy until you make a change, so stop posting here about it and go outside and take initiative. This goes for all aspects of life...if you don't do what you want, you'll never succeed. If you have your mind set on something go after it. If you want to make a change, make that change. It may sound easy, but it actually is. The more you dwell on it the more depressed you will become. Dwelling does no good for you...you are killing time and opportunities and life is too short to be upset over. What do you have to lose by making new friends? Some people may be *<strong><em>s and not want to be your friend, but thats a rare case. Most people aren't *</em></strong>s. </p>

<p>Your friends don't like going clubbing? Well, find some people that do. Don't ditch those friends, but keep them for doing some things while you seek other friends for other things. I'm 17 (in HS) and have buddies who I study with sometimes, but they aren't the type of guys I am...they are usually the goody shoes type. Then I have my friends who I go to hookah bars or house parties with...people who I can have a good time with. Then I have my good buddy who I go out with to pickup girls. Have a lot of friends, but know who to hang out and when to hang out with them. </p>

<p>Okay, enough posting - its time for you to get out there and change your life for the better. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT..JUST DO IT. Before you know it you will gain confidence because you'll realize you have friends and it wasn't so bad. You have to approach all aspects of life like this. Why do people have stagefright? Because they never performed or spoke in front of people before. The first time is the learning experience...you get the jitters, but once its over and you realize it wasn't bad...next time around makes it that much easier. GL</p>

22

<p>Remember FDR "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself"</p>

23

<p>I dont know, you dont know what it feels to be me, its difficult. I try but facing this fear is not something I can just one day wake up and wish its no there anymore. But maybe Im making a big deal out of it, but all I want is to feel good about myself, feel confident, socailize and make a few friends, and meet some girls. I mean for crying out loud.</p>

24

<p>^ Patience my friend. For some of us, it takes some time. ****, it's been around 3 years here and I've barely made any friends or anything but I've learned to just stop whining about it and just get yourself out there and try anyway. Another thing to think about is that no one truly needs friends and could cope with this. Over time, you learn how to cope with anything. I actually kind of love being by myself a lot because I have 'learned' a lot more about myself and other people around me (even though I am not meeting all of them) and have become very reflective in nature (which has its own set of advantages and disadvantages). Take advantage of the moment no matter what the moment entails. By yourself? There is still a lot to do by yourself. But the worse thing you can do is complain about it online or just sit there and do nothing. One problem of a problem itself is that the problem was recognized by you.</p>

25

<p>I am a commuter now too, and I have made a few friends through classes. The key is to be a good conversation guy. This is pretty much how I made friends my whole life.</p>

<p>The good thing for me is that one of my closest friends attends the college with me. We've known each other for almost seven years. Neither of us can say we've got a friend count as high as we had in high school, but we've made friends in other places.</p>

<p>I am in a few community groups throughout the area so I've met a lot of people there. I also meet people at work. And it seems as if I always make a new friend whenever I go to Abercrombie & Fitch (for some reason the employees all like me, probably because I'm there at least once a week).</p>

<p>Join some group that interests you. I'm going to join Bible Study so I can meet some good Christian folks (and hopefully meet a sweet Christian girl as well).</p>