<p>This may sound super dumb but I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions for how to boost self esteem? I genuinely feel good about myself about 5-10 minutes everyday, if that. I believe that I see myself as bigger, uglier & more awkward than I am but I don't know how to make myself feel any different! People with heathy levels of self-confidence, please share your secrets for how to be okay with how you look! Thanks!</p>
<p>I am confident I’m a loser. :)</p>
<p>Accomplish stuff, I guess. If you have something to be proud of you’ll be proud.</p>
<p>I believe that in order to be truly confident, you have to accept yourself. Learn to love yourself. You have big thighs? Well, those big thighs are pretty awesome. You have a weird neck? Well, that weird neck shows off your pretty awesome shoulders. You get the picture. When you become more comfortable with yourself, your self esteem grows and your insecurities diminish. Take care of yourself. Don’t beat yourself down. Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to yourself. It won’t be overnight, but eventually it’ll be your thought process.</p>
<p>I feel pretty spiffy when I speed. </p>
<p>To be serious though, don’t try to be confident. If you are not naturally confident, then don’t worry about it. Focus on being kind and polite. If, however, you are naturally shy, then wait a few years; people change.</p>
<p>To be unserious, let me check my advice-storage.</p>
<ol>
<li>Flirt with girls/boys (not at the same time). Complement others and they will usually complement you.</li>
<li>Develop a passion for banging your fist on the table/your chest to make a point. Speak with exciting enunciation. If you are funny, then humor is confidence.</li>
<li>Rather than brag, try to be self-defacing. When you are being humble you can chuckle silently to yourself because you secretly know you are extraordinary. </li>
<li>Smack talk the Po-Po. </li>
<li>Watch Arrested Development and feel like a higher being.</li>
</ol>
<p>^ I can’t top that, but I may try later. Mint has the advantage of old age though.</p>
<p>If you would like, try to develop a healthy benign arrogance that you hold dear and cherish.</p>
<p>Whenever I’m sad I just stop being sad and be awesome instead. Try doing that.</p>
<p>Lol sometimes I bust out the “I’m Fabulous” mode, complete with glitter and unicorns and rainbows and pink frilly stuff everywhere in the background.</p>
<p>Watch this TED talk. It honestly might change your life.
[Amy</a> Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are | Video on TED.com](<a href=“http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html]Amy”>http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html)</p>
<p>And aside from that… just be yourself and love yourself. I find I feel best about myself when I’m doing something I love. For me, that’s weightlifting and solving difficult math problems… go figure. Lifting is great, because it makes me feel good about my body (I had a terrible body image for a while, battled an ED for a year, and am now pretty okay with myself). And don’t underestimate the effect of being around people you love. My friends are absolutely fabulous, and we all love each other; same with my family. Find yourself a positive environment and stay there.</p>
<p>^^Thats a relief. I thought I was the only one.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>lolwut? I’m 17, baby.</p>
<p>honeyboo, thats 365 days of sweet advantage? Dispute?</p>
<p>I used to be kind of like that.</p>
<p>Take some of the people from your daily life you think are pretty. Look at them critically for awhile. Don’t try to compare yourself to them: just look them over objectively. You’ll notice all sorts of flaws you ignored while thinking of your own shortcomings. Once you accept that people around you aren’t perfect it’ll make it easier to be happy about whatever you have. It doesn’t even matter how you stack up to them; recognizing that others have flaws and continue to carry on throughout the day feeling pretty and confident will help you accept your own self.</p>
<p>Do things you feel are important or valuable. Learn some cool skills/tricks/unusual things. Be interesting to talk to. If you feel like you’re a neat person to be around, you’ll find yourself placing less and less worth on your appearance. When you have people who really seem to want to spend time around you, your self esteem rises naturally.
Be aware: trying too hard to be this is a turn-off. It exposes a lack of confidence which is unattractive.</p>
<p>And that being said, don’t get too caught up with what people think of you. You will never win over everybody. What some people think is cool, others will see as pointless or childish. As long as your having fun, people who like what you’re doing will gravitate toward you.</p>
<p>If you feel like you don’t know where to start, join some club at your school. Even if you feel like your not connecting with the other people at first, stick with it. Familiarity breeds understanding.</p>
<p>You might just have too much time alone to ruminate on things. Being around people and having other focuses is good; it stimulates your mind and gives you more important and more pressing problems to focus on.</p>
<p>Even when I was accomplishing important and difficult things, my own self-image was only improved once I found people I connected with who valued me and when I recognized flaws in others.
(To be clear: don’t tear people down, not out loud and not in your mind. Just recognize the little flaws everybody carries with them daily and respect them for it.)</p>
<p>I hope this is helpful!</p>
<p>Every time you pass a mirror, smile at yourself. You’ll feel like an idiot at first, but it will genuinely make your day better. In the mornings, tell yourself that you’re going to have a good day because you’re awesome. Tell yourself that anyone who thinks otherwise is not worth your time. Pretend to be confident until you’re no longer pretending - “fake it until you make it.” Pretend that you love who you are, and soon you will.</p>
<p>What are you really good at? Spend all your time doing that. If you dedicate yourself to your passion you will get lots of recognition and feel really awesome and that will make you better.</p>
<p>don’t worry about pleasing anyone but yourself and your own standards. not to say that you can’t change your standards or value others’ opinions (depending on how much you trust them), just that being satisfied with yourself should be the main focus.</p>
<p>to be honest, self esteem usually goes up as you get older anyways.</p>
<p>I don’t actually like how I look, but I’ve come to just accept it and kind of ignore it. This is partly because I’ve always swam, which means that there’s no way of hiding my body. There was nothing I could do about it, so after a while of worrying, I just moved on. </p>
<p>“Rather than brag, try to be self-defacing. When you are being humble you can chuckle silently to yourself because you secretly know you are extraordinary.”
-This is a very British trait, but I wouldn’t reccomend it as a way to boost self esteem. It shows a lack of confidence if you aren’t able to say nice things about yourself and, as pointed out above, if you act something enough you’ll start to believe it.</p>
<p>Gasp, but, but…I love British confidence.</p>
<p>Self deprecation may not be good for confidence, but it sure makes good comedy :D</p>
<p>A big thank you to all of the replies so far! I really do appreciate the encouragement. It’ll definitely take time, but these suggestions are helpful.</p>
<p>Niquii77, you’re right – it’s not good to compare myself to other people and hopefully I will learn to do that less.</p>
<p>dfree124, LOVE your HIMYM reference 
if only we could all be like Neil Patrick Harris!</p>
<p>stupiddorkyidiot, I cannot thank you enough for posting that link. Seriously, I didn’t really beleive you when you said it could be life changing but it definitely was.</p>
<p>LonelyHapax, I loved reading your post. It really struck me that I may have had confidence issues for so long because I haven’t had a solid group of friends in that long. I’m sort of a longer, floating along and being nice to people but not really have anyone to depend on. I feel like this might be one of the sources of my low self-esteem.</p>
<p>mmmgirl, I love to sing! Musical theatre is my passion and what I’m planning on majoring in this fall when I go to college. I’m super excited to go to college and just get completely immersed in all things performing arts; I feel like that could definitely help my confidence grow as I grow as an artist every day.</p>
<p>stressedouttt, I would definitely agree but I have to say that I don’t think my problem is worrying about what others think; it’s the fact that I don’t feel satisfied with myself. So that’s what I’m trying to work on. And I could definitely see your theory of self esteem growing with age, but I’ve had the same low-confidence for at least 6 years if not more. I thought being a senior in high school, leaving for college in 7 months, would help me earn confidence but so far nothing has really changed. Like I said above, I’m hoping college will truly be my time to shine and for my confidence to grow.</p>
<p>Thanks again, everybody. I know that I have a lot to offer and contribute to life on earth, but I think we all enjoy being reminded that we are special every now and then :)</p>
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