<p>Please state your gender, age, and the extent of the pressure (or lack thereof) that you feel. Elaborate if you'd like: Do you feel that the pressure is self-imposed, because of the media, because of your peers of the same gender, because of your peers of the opposite gender, or a combination of factors (society in general)?</p>
<p>I'll start: I'm female and 18 and I'm often consumed with thoughts about my appearance. There are days when it gets so bad that I'm embarrassed to be seen in public because even though I know rationally that people aren't constantly judging me, I just feel... disgusting in my skin. Most days, I avoided looking in the mirror before school, knowing that I would have a terrible day if my reflection grossed me out (as it was likely to).</p>
<p>When I was little and Health class was expounding all of that "Don't let the evil media's emphasis on appearance make you feel bad about yourself! You're all beautiful no matter what!" crap, I thought the whole thing was silly. I thought that the emphasis was imagined and that anyone susceptible to media influence was stupid anyways. But now, I don't know. Is it the media, or am I just a mess? Because although I'm happy with most aspects of my life and personality, I would honestly trade in all the positive (my intellect, my talents, etc.) to be more attractive. I don't think I can ever be happy with myself as an average-looking female -- the only way I will ever feel good about myself is to be extremely attractive. How about the rest of you?</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I feel the same. Female, 16. My life seems to be filled with beautiful people, and I suppose I just really don’t have the self-confidence to look at myself and go “Hey, you look pretty good today,” most times. And as much as I hate to admit it, I’m prone to bouts of anorexia when I get super depressed about my weight. Now, when I wake up from my insanity, I realize that 5"7’ and 125 lbs is NOT overweight. But then I’ll see something on TV or I’ll see stunning girls walking down the street with seemingly perfect lives, and I’m back to not eating for a couple of weeks.
So, I’d say extreme pressure, and it’s absolutely ridiculous.</p>
<p>Ugh, I’m sorry to hear about the anorexia. All of the anecdotes I’ve read about eating disorders absolutely break my heart. I hope that you don’t feel the need to do that to yourself anymore. :'[ </p>
<p>And wow, 5’7 and 125 is EXTREMELY thin! Hehe I’m 5’5 and like 130-135. ><</p>
<p>Female, 17
I think im an anomaly. I don’t feel as much pressure as people usually say teen girls feel. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think, oh, I look like crap today. But then I move on. No big deal. If I’m going outside, I’ll try to look better, but not to the degree where I’m stressing out. I don’t think I look AMAZING, I think I look fine most of the time. I don’t think I’m photogenic at all. I’ve never had a problem with weight, so I can’t speak to that. However, I always see ridiculously skinny girls on TV who are thinner than I am and prettier. I see them and take them for what they are: models/celebs/actresses who spend much more time and care much more about their appearance than I do. I might admire them, but I never get obsessed with any, or put myself down because of it. Yeah, maybe their life is better than mine. Whatever. Guys do care a lot about looks. I take that as a given in most situations. I can’t say I really care about how guys perceive me compared to how much I care about the way girls see me. It’s such a waste of time and energy to worry about your appearance for someone else. If you’re going to worry, at least worry for yourself. Yeah, there are some days when I look in the mirror and think “Ok, I need to get rid of this acne here. and these dark circles. and lose some weight here.” but usually I never really act on it. The beauty regimen that I do have, I have for sanitary reasons and to feel good about myself. For example, I feel gross if I don’t pluck my eyebrows out once in a while. Of course I would rather be prettier. But I’m content for now with my looks, and the media is its own thing. Why should I have to look like everyone on TV? no reason at all</p>
<p>This is just my personal experience with this issue. I know that many other people feel differently, and I can see how they could feel that way. If you care too much about how people perceive you, the pressure can be really intense.</p>
<p>Im a seventeen year old female, so I’m slightly self-concious. I’m not grossed out by my body or anything though. I’m very thin (I don’t really care about my weight however, as long as I’m healthy), and not hideous. However, when I don’t take care of myself, I dislike the way I look.</p>
<p>I do feel some pressure by my mother to wear make-up, wear heels, straighten/curl my hair etc. She wants everyone to be jealous of her pretty daughters, blah blah blah. Most of the time I wear make-up do my hair, etc.</p>
<p>However when a certain boy likes me and is soon to ask me out or whatever, I’ll stop wearing makeup, wear baggy sweatshirts, and do my best to change their mind about me. I’m in highschool, and personally I don’t think the guys in highschool are mature enough (no offense to guys on here). </p>
<p>So I’m generally a nice person, and I don’t like hurting anybody’s feelings, so I look like crap on purpose, hoping they’ll think “she’s ugly” and change their mind =) I don’t really care about what teenage boys think of me, so I’m not hurt when they change their minds haha.</p>
<p>But when I’m in “ugly” mode I guess you can call it, my friends and mother are constantly telling me to try to look better, ask me why I don’t act normal, whatever. Thats the problem when you hang out with a bunch of preps; they want you to look like them, and when you don’t, most get mad or distance themselves away from you =) ■■■.</p>
Yeah, I’ve been a lot more active lately than I was throughout the school year, which helps marginally. Lots of pick-up sports games and stuff. But my lifestyle is still pretty unhealthy (weird sleeping schedule, 1-2 largish meals per day rather than more small meals), and I can’t motivate myself to change these things because I have a hard time convincing myself that the effort it’d take to modify these habits would be worth it.</p>
<p>@ sunfire & Liverpool: Wow, I really admire your outlooks on life. I wish I could just tell myself to care less and be more like you two. =[</p>
<p>Another thing I do that’s unhealthy is base my feelings of self-worth on others’ opinions. I know that’s bad, but I can’t help it. I feel better about myself when I’m in a relationship, or when someone compliments my appearance. And even now that I’m in an amazing relationship with someone who loves me for who I am and blah blah blah, occasionally someone else will say something that sets me off and makes me feel like crap for, like, a week.</p>
<p>Enough of the “the media pressures me to look like models”. There’s nothing wrong with being more active and caring about your appearance. Personally (and I bet for a lot of people), my confidence and self-esteem relies on being someone I want to be. One of the most effective paths to self-respect is by respecting your body.</p>
<p>Does that mean you should be anorexic? Of course not. But don’t write off hygiene and fitness to “the media’s exposure.” That’s just a cop out.</p>
<p>Another reason among many that I’m happy to be a guy… 100x less pressure to look perfect. I feel bad for girls… and Liverpool, I agree that most high school guys are not very emotionally mature, and I would include myself in that.</p>
I’m not “cop[ping] out” or “writ[ing] off hygiene and fitness,” and I’m certainly not blaming anyone. I don’t even know if the pressure I feel is from the media or what! I only brought it up as a possibility. I’m pretty sure that my preoccupation is mainly a result of my peers’ attitudes toward appearance. </p>
<p>I know of the numerous benefits of both fitness and hygiene. And although (as I’ve said) I’ve improved my level of activity, it’s difficult to motivate myself to live as healthily as I’d like to. It’s certainly not as easy as “Just get up and do it!”</p>
