Can a girl and a guy be best friends?! w/o a relationship?

<p>Sometimes, the whole "no strings attached" thing happens in a strange way.</p>

<p>Here's what happened: As an eighth grader, a girl who I did not know had a crush on me and had her friend, who knew me, tell me on the bus. The girl was a year younger than me and I had no idea who she was. I sort of ignored all this despite one of my buddies telling me to go for it. He forgot about it by September, but I heard she didn't.</p>

<p>Fast forward to my sophomore year. The girl is once again in the same building as me. My best buddy, who too had forgotten about what happened in middle school, asked her out. We all went on this big field trip and I naturally wanted to sit at the same table as this guy. Well, the girl was there too so she got to meet me.</p>

<p>Two weeks later my best buddy gets dumped. They promise to remain on good terms. But after meeting me, we start just chatting and whatnot and the following fall, we're tight.</p>

<p>This girl has dated some folks, and I remain as the shoulder to cry on and "big brother" figure.</p>

<p>We realize that our friendship is too awesome to risk to a possible failed romance. Admittedly, we love each other, but we love each other as friends--meaning that no matter who we date or anything we will have each other no matter what.</p>

<p>As for my best buddy, she sort of lost contact with him for some reason. I wonder if it's because he kept flirting with her years after the romance was called off...</p>

<p>I had two best friends in college who were male; we hung around every day, ate all of our meals together, went on ski trips, went up north to a friends house etc...and they never made a move on me or acted like they wanted to, and i was very pretty in college and in very good shape.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, that can not happen at my present age without the guy making a move...impossible!</p>

<p>In my experience a relationship is inevitable. there comes a point when you can no longer be just friends and you either have to step it up and date or tone it down.</p>

<p>I have 3 best male friends. Which 2 turned out to be gay. And the other 1 who I've known the longest, and who I also had a crush on for the longest, we had a hook up recently, BUT there has been nothing awkward about it, since we still hang together like we use to.</p>

<p>this is the best thread i've ever seen on CC...</p>

<p>yes very easy, just don't get sooo attached</p>

<p>my best friend is gay though</p>

<p>gay guys I know are all *****ier than my female friends</p>

<p>i love my STRAIGHT best friend theres like no sexual tension between us and we can talk about anything and he is straight trust me</p>

<p>SURE it's possible but it's like a gay guy being best friends with a straight guy. happens alot, yet often a lot of sexual tension. in some cases, there is none.</p>

<p>Love711, I hear you completely. I think every girl needs a guy who they can just talk to like that. Being a guy (and a straight one) I can say that it just takes the right guy to be that person.</p>

<p>Read my story at the top of page nine, second to last paragraph. The girl in question and I don't even see each other as being a dude and a chick. OK, so we both think each other is good looking, but you wouldn't tell ANY friend he/she is ugly, nor would you probably think that. There is NO sexual tension between us and if you left us in a locked closet for five hours we'd probably just BS the whole time, just like I would BS with any of the dudes I know.</p>

<p>Misa_mis: The whole relationship thing has about a 50/50 chance of happening. For example, my mom still chats with one of these guy friends from HS but they've never gone out. (It's been 34 years since they graduated!) Sometimes two good friends who just hang out a lot eventually will get married. Forrest Gump and Jenny were just good friends at the beginning but look what happened in the long run. (Of course, both were misunderstood by others and had their share of problems that only each other knew about, so this was good). [COMMENT: I love this movie and I think one of the reasons why is because they always had each other even if it intially wasn't a romance or something, even though it was obvious Forrest did have something for her when he had nine boats named Jenny]</p>

<p>In my mom's case, she got divorced and so did this other guy. They sort of renewed a half-dormant friendship when they had their divorces (around the same time) so it showed once again how good it is to have these kind of friends--she saw it on a good note from the guy's point of view. Which is why I am all for girls and guys having just friends they can turn to like this.</p>

<p>But the relationship thing--if I ever wind up marrying the girl in question (or any of my other female friends who are FRIENDS) you'll be the first to know. Should something like this ever happen, it will likely be because of a mutual knowledge and appreciation for each other and not because of sexual desires. I doubt I'll marry any of these friends, but if I did I'd say there's a really high chance it would work out well since it always helps when your wife/husband is your best friend.</p>

<p>mactech, i'm the same way with my best friend. i'm glad to know i'm not the only one :)</p>

<p>yeah my best fiend is like the perfect guy he seems like hes a jerk and wants sex but hs got his own lil prbolems and i just help him plus with a straghtguy you can ask opnions on how to know something about a guy and stuffl ike that and vis versa it just easir to havea guy friend thena girl best friend cuz theres bascially no drama</p>

<p>question: possible to be good friends with someone whom you've slept with before who has a crush on you and really likes you a lot even if you aren't going to be in a relationship with them because of extenuating circumstances, like them or you being in another relationship?</p>

<p>
[quote]
I have 3 best male friends. Which 2 turned out to be gay.

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</p>

<p>That helps get rid of sexual tension just a tad...</p>

<p>I TOTALLY KNOW WHAT YOUR TAKLINGA BUT I HAVE THAT SAME PROBLEM NOW but yeah it is possible</p>

<p>For Shaganov, I'm wondering the exact same thing. I don't think it works, at least not in the two months following them sleeping together.</p>

<p>its possible!</p>

<p>wow, such an old thread</p>

<p>yeah it's possible. My best friend is a girl, no tension between us at all.</p>

<p>HelpTheLazy mentioned the age at which you met your friend being a major factor-- absolutely. my guy friends are either gay, younger than me (this is just me, but i can't see myself being attracted to a younger guy), or i met them when i was in elementary school. my two best guy friends are straight, but we're basically like siblings-- i knew both of them by the time we were 8. i really do think girls set the tone for a lot of girl-guy relations...i know i'm bad about keeping guy friends JUST friends. </p>

<p>i don't think 'friends with benefits' ever works-- inevitably, someone is gonna develop feelings for the other person and it'll end badly-- but that's another discussion entirely.</p>

<p>I think the usually the guy develops feelings for the girl...it is pretty hard to best friends, maybe friends..yea</p>