<p>Why does sexual tension preclude real friendship? That's my question.</p>
<p>I have close male friends, some gay, some straight. I find some of them attractive. That doesn't mean that I would hop into bed with them (considering that I am in a relationship now), or that acknowledging them as members of the opposite sex makes me unable to function in a friendly manner. Knowing them reasonably well, I can say the same is probably true for them. And to be totally honest, there's sexual tension to some degree in lots of my friendships with girls as well as boys, but we are able to discuss it and deal with it and be better friends because of it.</p>
<p>In the great scheme of things, I don't really care if my male friend is undressing me in his mind. Lust is just one of those facts of life. A honest-to-goodness crush/desire for a relationship is a bit harder to handle, of course. But not every male genuinely wants any particular female friend like that.</p>
<p>Besides, if you're around someone for long enough, being sexually attracted to them takes effort. The lusty newness will wear off after a while. Why do you think there are sex therapists? :)</p>
<p>lol. a lot of my friends happen to be girls, and about 90% of them are all pretty hot. i think it's important to have that maturity in you to resist temptation. i know many of them find me attractive too, but usually nothing happens. if things do happen, it's still the same friendly relationship afterwards because we both know it's not serious. most of my girl friends, i haven't done anything with and i'm still able to talk to any of them freely about practically anything. being attracted to an attractive person isn't a bad thing, it's healthy! unless a person has major infatuation issues with someone of the opposite sex, then obviously that friendship will be somewhat obscure.</p>
<p>I think guys and girls can be friends without a relationship. Sometimes. I think most guys (straight guys at least) can't relate to the constant need to talk and discuss and converse the way girls do (no offense). </p>
<p>I think most women want to be friends with guys more than vice versa. I don't know too many guys looking for girls who are nothing more than friends. Then again, I think most girls look to make guys they don't find attractive friends. Guys don't try to make girls they don't find attractive friends. That's offensive to us.</p>
<p>One of my best friends is my ex-girlfriend. Of course we'll hook up from time to time, but it oddly never effects anything. So yes, it's possible ... barely.</p>
<p>it's definately possible. u see, it all depends on the male. if the man is charmingly beautiful enough to be content with himself, he will always seek a non-relationship centred friendship. also because men tend to be a bit self-imposing and direct, he will repel the woman's attempt to entrench the friendship in a love relationship. but there are VERY VERY few men like this just as there are VERY VERY few pretty women.</p>
<p>Its the whole Jerry and Elaine thing. Casual sex between great friends is hard because eventually one of them will want a relationship "this and that." The hard part is getting to a time when you can have "this, that, and the other."</p>
<p>Of course. Most of my best friends are boys. It helps that I have a boyfriend because I feel safe that it will stay platonic but I had many close male friends before I had my boyfriend. Guys don't want to date every girl they're friends with, especially if they just like her personality.</p>
<p>i totally agree with the notion that guys do not want to date every girls. u see there are two types of girls: 1) the sexually attractive. 2) the non-sexually pretty. there are zillions of 1) girls. they're everywhere (cuz even the ugly ones are attractive in this respect). but, there are VERY VERY VERY few 2) girls. these men (at least sensible and reasonably artistically conscious men) want to adore and to fantasize about, but never to partake or imagine a sexual or even a relationship liaison. the highest leve of a liaison that an aesthetic man would ever want with these women are mild romantic ones where the man seeks self-pity (the pillar of TRUE romanticsim) and unimaginable degree of suffering to atone for his sins. he wants to starve and to wear out from working for the poor in africa to get sympathy from these women. basically, a romance.</p>
<p>i bet my ideas will be accepted more eagerly in europe. america is too conservative. this is one of the reasons why art, more particularly avant-garde never arose in america...</p>
<p>Don't worry, I'll get around to addressing some of your more ludicrous "theories."</p>
<p>Btw, I thought you stated that American girls were too influenced by what they see in the media and hence, weren't as "conservative" as European girls.</p>
<p>Also - the US has been one of the leaders in "avant-garde art."</p>
<p>^ Its weird how fairy tales like the three goats aren't well known to people learning English, even after they study them for years. Many people who speak English fluently don't know common figures such as Captain Planet. All know Pokemon however, so rejoice in knowing that while mankind may not be united by a common cause to save the enviornment, man will be united by globalization and greedy business franchises!</p>
<p>charizard, what in the world does captain planet have to do with this thread?</p>
<p>k&s, i don't knoe what in the hell u're talking about and i never mentioned american or european girls. i either say ino-afro-asiatic-latin brunettes or blond germanics... please don't commit..slander.</p>
<p>also avant-garde art in america is derivative from europe. immigrants usually carried the torch. thank german immigrants for mdern glass architecture u have today. thank surrealism of france for abstract expressionism.. also art deco is from paris, not new york. </p>
<p>america's finest intellectual movement is probably transcendentalism. but in art, america was pretty much copying the european masters (i should say latin masters)</p>
<p>uhh i really dont know where this whole argument went and sorry for not reading all 11 pages, but uh..i think a girl and guy can be best friends without any tension.</p>
<p>"in fact, most of my best friends are guys"
And I will bet you 100$ that at least 50% of those guys have stronger feelings for you then you think (or at least a willingness to have them)</p>