Can Anyone rate my UT Austin Essay

<p>Please provide any suggestions on how I can improve my essay.</p>

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>Topic C: REQUIRED
Considering your lifetime goals, discuss how your current and future academic and extra-curricular activities might help you achieve your goals. </p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>I distinctly remember the boom of a MiG-17 jet rocketing over the roof of my house. I was 10 years old then and had no clue what was happening or what it was. Though, in spite of a world of dilemma, something struck a chord in me. I was fascinated by the sound and intensity produced by the propellers of the jet. The jet created ripples extensively across my lawn as it flew at a supersonic speed across my house. The jet had not only shivered the grass but also had shivered every gut inside of me. I had known nothing about the aerodynamics in the making or flying of a jet or the functioning of the rudder and propellers which allowed the jet to fly with maximum thrust and minimum air-drag effect, but the effect of the jet had appealed to my young, susceptible mind in a way nothing else ever had. A countless number of ideas started to scorch through my head regarding how the jet was constructed to whether I could possibly fly it. Though it was dim-witted of me, I realized that my ardent to venture in the field of aerodynamic engineering had risen from a very young age.
As I started to develop, I transitioned form illusionary to reality. I started brainstorming different ideas to build various aero model planes. I entered into the field of space at a young age. I learned about peculiar theories regarding black holes in a classroom debate between my physics teacher and few of my classmates. After a myriad research, I started to discover that Einstein's theory of Relativity, which mentions that nothing can escape a black hole as anything sucked into a black hole is crushed into singularity had made sense when compared to that of the inconsistent Quantum Theory and Stephan Hawking's theory, which state that energy and light can escape and can be radiated out of a backhoe. In fact, what trilled me the most was the fact that there existed more than five dimensions in space. I have been fixing electronic devices ever since I was 12 years old, though the first time I ever experienced a revitalized incident was when I was in 6th grade. It all started in 6th grade when my uncle took me to Disney World. The first amusement ride I demanded him to ride was Paragliding. Though, I was initially ecstatic, I started to fear flying on the glider. At first, considering the height at which I was flying, it was a gruesome task but as soon as I started to glide over the nearby tourists, I felt so exuberant. Ever Since, I have grown a deep temper for creating and flying gliders.
My interest in aerospace engineering also extends to my passion in electronics. My curiosity has led me to learn how everyday devices run and has also led me to work on such things as RC cars, watches and gaming consoles. My passion for flight is fascinating. I have pursued an internship in a reputable company where I worked with the company's engineers on the wind-load testing of the Yagi antenna and I plan to attend an aerospace engineering workshop "Aerotrix" in the summer. I even plan to take flying lessons in college to help me achieve my goal.
I believe studying at University of Texas at Austin will help me achieve my goal in becoming an aerospace engineer to work for NASA. The university is highly reputable in field of aerospace engineering. UT Austin opens a door of fortuity for visionaries. After all, I do believe I am visionary.</p>

<p>Could anyone rate me essay and provide any suggestions asap. I have to submit the essay to UT Austin in a day or two. If you like, I can rate your essays as well</p>

<p>I’m applying for the same major and my essay is very similar. I say it’s very good. May want to convey a sense of how significant those EC’s were to sparking an interest of AE in you</p>

<p>Thanks a lot "vs1997 . I did realize afterwards, though, that there are some typo & grammar mistakes which I’ll have to to change. Thanks for the advice, It’s really helpful. </p>