can anyone score my essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>i am going take SAT this december and i really want to know how to improve my score.
can anyone give some suggestions? And socre the essay, Thanks!</p>

<p>With changes in technology, we enjoy a lot of new high-tech </p>

<p>during our daily life. The technology that makes our life </p>

<p>easier, however, doesn’t necessarily make our lift better.
In my life, several technologies that make life easer how </p>

<p>not better. With the developed quick-dumpling that makes </p>

<p>me enjoy food quicker, it does not provide me a sense of </p>

<p>happiness in the process of pursuing cate. For those who </p>

<p>enjoy the quicker thing trigger yet another problem. It </p>

<p>save time, yes, but is that good? The point is when people </p>

<p>depend too much on technology they lost more than they </p>

<p>expected. They didn’t realize they lost the ability to mind-</p>

<p>calculate after using a calculator for years. “What? Doing </p>

<p>mathematics exam without a calculator?” someone might </p>

<p>complain. Yes, the truth is that once we get acquainted with </p>

<p>calculator -based-math-test, we could hardly drop it. The </p>

<p>calculator does make calculation faster but not better. You </p>

<p>lost a good thinking skill and better understanding of </p>

<p>calculation. Of course you wouldn’t be able to find the </p>

<p>interesting phenomena in solving calculation tasks ,no </p>

<p>student wants to be a failure in his/her subject list, </p>

<p>however, calculate without calculator is a good way to </p>

<p>develop one’s mind and good sense of math.
There is always someone that would “sacrifice” a better </p>

<p>qualification in order to earn a quicker accomplishment. </p>

<p>Technology improvement dose always make things easier </p>

<p>which means you needn’t to do tedious work and to receive a </p>

<p>lot of interest. The other side of coin is that whatever we </p>

<p>improve in easiness, it will be decrease in underlying area. </p>

<p>Take Windows Operating System for an instance. While </p>

<p>making Windows common user easier to use, it triggers </p>

<p>a more sever possibility to get attacked by un-</p>

<p>trustworthy invasions. It is the security that we pay to get </p>

<p>an easier way to work. Which do you prefer? The answer is </p>

<p>obvious. No one would like to lose a precious file which he </p>

<p>typed for months (already improved by quicker speed), and </p>

<p>that may be exactly the debt we pay. It is more important </p>

<p>to be an intact file than to be quicker work which </p>

<p>accomplished nothing. So there is no doubt that we value </p>

<p>the quality much more than the velocity. Can anyone assert </p>

<p>that easier always accomplished with better quality?
Even if there is always a however,technology may bring better quality and quicker in the same process.The main body of newly-hatched-technology is more likely to be never meeting the ends. So, changes that make our life easier not necessarily make than better.</p>

2

<p>the prompt is in BB Test #2 (SAT OG)</p>

3

<p>i dunno like 4/12?</p>

4

<p>why ? i tought it may higher</p>

5

<p>you tought wrong</p>

6

<p>can you give any suggestions ?</p>

7

<p>I’d probably give it a 4/12 as well.</p>

<p>First of all, learn how to format your essay. The way you have it posted right now, it looks like one huge paragraph. The easiest way to improve your score is to format your essay properly–multiple indented paragraphs, a definite intro and conclusion. You do have a introductions and conclusions, but they are severely underdeveloped.</p>

<p>Second, your examples aren’t very clear nor are they in proper English. You have many run-ons and just grammar errors overall.</p>

<p>The only reason it’s not a 2/12 is because your examples do support your thesis.</p>

8

<p>i’d give it a 3/12, maybe a 4/12 if i was in a good mood after grading lots and lots of essays in succession</p>

<p>you have a lot of grammatical problems, and you have some sentences that just don’t make sense (and some words that are just used incorrectly)</p>

<p>i can see your argument, but it’s vague and really disconnected; there’s no concrete evidence behind it, just your opinion; you have to have concrete evidence behind it</p>

<p>there’s just not much there to answer the essay adequately</p>

9

<p>My edited version
With changes in technology, we enjoy a lot of new high-tech during our daily lives. The technology that makes our life easier, however, doesn’t necessarily make our lift better.</p>

<p>In my life, several technologies that make life easer however don’t better. With the developed quick-dumpling that makes me enjoy food quicker, it does not provide me a sense of happiness in the process of pursuing cate. For those who enjoy the quicker thing triggers yet another problem. It saved time, yes, but is that good? The point is when people depended too much on technology they lost more than they expected. They didn’t realize they lost the ability to master calculate after using a calculator for years. “What? Doing mathematics exam without a calculator?” someone might complain. Yes, the truth is that once we get acquainted with calculator -based-math-tests, we could hardly drop it. The calculator does make calculation faster but not better. There is no guarantee for better marks if you use a calculator. In fact you lost a good thinking skill and better understanding of calculation. Of course you wouldn’t be able to find the interesting phenomena during the solving process. Most mysterious, calculate questions without a calculator is actually develop one’s mind and good sense of math.</p>

<p>There is always someone that would “sacrifice” a better qualification in order to earn a quicker accomplishment. Technology improvement dose always make things easier which means you needn’t to do tedious work and to receive a lot of interest. The other side of coin is that whatever we improve in easiness, it will be decrease in other underlying area. Take Windows Operating System for an instance. While making Windows user easier to use, the easiness triggers a more serious possibility to get attacked by invasions. It is the security that we pay to get an easier way to work. Which do you prefer? The answer is obvious. No one would like to lose a precious file which he typed for months (already improved by quicker speed), and that may be exactly the debt we pay. It is more important to be an intact file than to be quicker work which accomplished nothing. So there is no doubt that we value the quality much more than the velocity. Can anyone assert that easiness always accomplished with better quality?</p>

<p>Even if there is always a however, technology may bring better quality and quicker in the same way. The most newly-hatched technologies are more likely never make the ends meet. So, changes that make our life easier not necessarily make than better.</p>

10

<p>“In my life, several technologies that make life easer however don’t better.”</p>

<p>however don’t better? that doesn’t make sense</p>

<p>“They didn’t realize they lost the ability to master calculate after using a calculator for years.”</p>

<p>again, to master calculate; bad wording</p>

<p>etc…</p>

<p>overall, it still has grammatical errors and just an overall vagueness; a 4/12 for this one, so up from a 3… but it still has a lot of holes in it</p>

11

<p>define techology–then develop your thesis…rest is easy after that…</p>

<p>get back with a clearly defined thesis with a point of view.</p>