<p>Can someone grade on a scale of 1-6. and give some feedback on my essay, especially since I think it's weakly written. For some reason, I had trouble coming up with examples, so I spent a huge chunk of my time thinking, and I was rushed to write this in the last 10 minutes.</p>
<p>Topic-Do you believe fantasy or imagination is more important than knowledge?</p>
<hr>
<p>Fantasy and imagination propels us forward. Knowledge by itself can never move forward, and will forever remain the way it is. It was these that gave them the initial idea, the initial motivation and push to create the technology we have today.</p>
<p>The Wright Brothers are two of the most important inventors in history. They revolutionized humanity forever with the invention of manned power, heavier than air flight. Their journey to this success, however, can't be solely relied upon with their knowledge on physics and whatever else is needed to sustain flight. Ever since the Wright Brothers were little, they played with a miniature gliding toy. They also heard news of successful gliders and their pilots such as Otto Lilienthal. Seeing these gliders gave the Wirght Brothers the fantasy of achieving controlled flight. While many at the time thought the idea was ridiculous, the Wright Brothers dreamed of being able to have sustained, controlled flight. Their dream of this seemingly mythical flying machine propelled them to experiment constantly, using the knowledge to design experimental aircraft. After about 2 years of trial and error, the motivation of their imagination succeeded in building their fantasy of heavier than air flight. </p>
<h2>The ingenuity of the Wright Brothers proved that fantasy and imagination helps to innovate while knowledge by itself cannot advance into the unknown.</h2>
<p>Again, I know this is pretty weak, at least in my opinion. If anyone can give me tips on how to formulate strong examples within the 25 minute timeframe of the SAT essay, I'd great appreciate it.</p>
<p>Ok. This is a nice essay. Now, SAT or ACT essays (in my opinion) are stupid. And you have to write very specifically for them. First, you need to be very specific on the stand you are taking. Your outline should look something like this:</p>
<p>Intro
intro sentence
rephrase question and answer</p>
<p>Paragraph 1
why you believe what you believe
why you are right
use a small example</p>
<p>Paragraph 2
rebuttal the silence
explain why the other idea is wrong
(Ie Although some people believe ______ there are other factors which I believe…)</p>
<p>Paragraph 3</p>
<ul>
<li>example</li>
<li>tell a little story or example</li>
</ul>
<p>Conclusion</p>
<ul>
<li>rephrase your answer</li>
<li>again explain why you are right and the other idea is wrong</li>
</ul>
<p>Now, it is nice if you can toss it a quote. For example many people have heard the saying, “An apple away keeps the doctor away.” or another simple quote that you hear all the time.</p>
<p>There are also a lot of books out there to help you with such. Hope this helps.</p>
<p>Eh… I’d say 3, maybe 4 out of 6. What you have is well-written, it’s just that, as you said, you ran out of time. You should really try for 3 body paragraphs, and /maybe/ 2 if they’re really well-developed.</p>
<p>your intro is too confusing. I don’t understand this “Knowledge by itself can never move forward, and will forever remain the way it is. It was these that gave them the initial idea, the initial motivation and push to create the technology we have today.” It might help to insert a sentence or two to elaborate on the point.</p>
<p>Your example also has several extraneous details. Only include points that are directly related to your thesis. In this case, you can eliminate all the sentences in the example paragraph that doesn’t relate to fantasy and/or knowledge.</p>
<p>Good conclusion, but still too weak. I had the impression of “so what?” Give the essay a little more thought.</p>
<p>Check out some essay samples that get 11-12/12 so you get an idea of what to do.</p>
<p>@dictionarygirl16: I highly doubt the format you are proposing as I’ve never seen a high-scoring essay that follows your layout. Are you sure it works?</p>