<p>Please? Title</p>
<p>yeah hit me up</p>
<p>Sure.</p>
<p>I'm not sure why people don't just post their essays, though. They'd probably get more input.</p>
<p>I think thats against the CC laws or something...anyway Ill read it too, but this is I think the 3rd person Ive offered help to and I have yet to recieve an essay from any one so....yeah, I dont mind helping.</p>
<p>Keep your writing as terse as possible. I see many words or sentences that could be simplified or even removed altogether.</p>
<p>The first paragraph, for example--</p>
<p>"For the onlooker, literature and art offer a way to learn about and to see inside the mind of others. For the author, composer, or painter, literature, music, or art offer a way to share his thoughts, ideas, and world he lives in. For these reasons, reading and a general appreciation of the arts have always been passions of mine."</p>
<p>--could be made more elegant with something like this:</p>
<p>"The arts allow one a glimpse inside the mind of others. The artist, whether author, composer or painter, presents a canvas that is uniquely their own, yet open for limitless interpretation."</p>
<p>I'm trying not to alter your voice--only trying to clarify it. Writing well isn't just about finding your voice (difficult enough), but making it the best "version" of your voice by improving your craft.</p>
<p>Also, I would present an in-depth discussion of one or two works, rather than simply listing off what you enjoy. I doubt that's what they want to see.</p>
<p>would it be ok to list the works at the end... for example:</p>
<p>However I dont limit my reading or learning to just physics but expand it to other areas as well. For example some books I have read in the past two months are Hamlet by William Shakespear, Eldest by Christopher Paolini, and Deception Point by Dan Brown, The Golden Ratio by Mario Livio, Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien, Bringing Down the House by Ben Mezrich, The Essays of Warren Buffet by Warren Buffet, and Starting Out: The Sicilian Dragon by Andrew Martin.</p>
<p>I'll read, PM me!</p>
<p>They understand that you like other books. However, they'll think you're simply listing off the classics to appear as a "nice package" to admissions, rather than a give a true representation of your interests.</p>
<p>I've read Homer, Thucydides, sure--but I'm sure they've heard all that before. This isn't an ivy, they don't want those who blindly toe the line and say what they think they "ought to."</p>
<p>Ill read it - em or pm</p>
<p>Sure, email: <a href="mailto:Christine123@gmail.com">Christine123@gmail.com</a>. (I'm bored...stalling Vanderbilt.)</p>
<p>isn't that app due tonight?</p>
<p>Vandy? 1/3</p>
<p>you have plenty of time then</p>
<p>Lol, well, you see, I took my UChicago essay and created a shorter version of it for the common app (cheap, I know, but the common app gives no inspiration to write an awesome essay...like the writing section of the SAT?)...it works for all of my schools except Vanderbilt. Why? Second to last sentence: "This time, Im the one moving, wanting to go from a 30-minute drive away to a plane ride or two awaya world away." Yeah, Vanderbilt is a 1.5-2 hour drive away. So, I need to alter that.</p>
<p>And then...why Vanderbilt? Worst reasons possible. My dad wants me to go there? You accept everyone from my school?</p>
<p>lol, if it's a safety then i doubt your essays need any originality or thought.</p>
<p>My moral conscience still tells me I'm being cheap! Yeah... Maybe I'll write about birth control. I did that for Johns Hopkins. (I decided that the admissions officers were probably bored so I'd give them some entertainment.)</p>
<p>Actually from what I hear that's realyl good cuz they like people who like to stir things up because most essays deal with topics about the kids themselves and don't talk about controversial topics. I think in 2001 admissions officers were disapointed that more kids didn't talk about 9-11. So your idea will work.</p>