<p>The little brother needs a guardian ad litum at the very least. The bf might also want to petition for a restraining order against his mother.</p>
<p>Social worker and community college. Many of our students face horrendous odds and difficult situations and we work with them and they go on to 4 year schools and succeed.</p>
<p>If younger brother is still under 18 and in the school system, getting a school counselor involved (i.e., mandated reporter) and getting this cr*p documented may help the younger brother when it comes time for FA for college.</p>
<p>Agree that taking some time off to get the home situation (or escape from it) under control may be the best route. If the young man’s advisor at college can write a letter attesting to the difficulties he faced, that, plus some time off, may help his transfer applications down the road.</p>
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<p>That was my question as well. The father’s emotional state is serving to manipulate this young man into handling a situation that is way over his head, himself. He needs someone to step in.</p>
<p>A young man this age should not have these responsibilities. Financially or emotionally. It is bizarre that the family has money but the student is working more than full-time to support himself and his brother. The BF should stop paying money to the home or even the brother. It is indeed enabling the parents.</p>
<p>I cannot tell but it is possible one or even both parents are deserving of sympathy, but clearly they also need help. I think the BF should go to a counselor who can help straighten this out. If the situation for the 13 year-old is as dire as it sounds, that counselor will contact child protective services. In place of a foster home, a relative might step in. In any case, this should be off the shoulders of the BF and he can keep in touch with his brother- but not have to pay for his food.</p>
<p>The counselor can also help guide the BF on academic plans versus work or some combination. This fall may require that he back off some of the stress and work involved in trying to do both.</p>
<p>Transferring does clean up the transcript at the school where you end up. Transferring also cleans up GPA. Also, there are programs that are geared to students 24+ that make combining school and work a little easier (Lesley, Goddard, Union Institute, UMass University without Walls) so he will have options in the future that are possible for a self-supporting kid. Some of these are online but excellent.</p>
<p>I would hope the parents would clean up their act and/or get well, depending on your point of view. Child protective services or perhaps, more gently, the counselor, can help that happen.</p>
<p>The fact that the parents have a lot of money makes this a very puzzling situation to read, and I think that it is possible that if the BF withdraws, the parents will change their behavior. But what a position to put a young man in. And feeling responsible for one’s siblings food at that age is just terrible.</p>
<p>It is one thing that BF wants to take care of younger brother, but he should not have to be responsible for grown people. If the father is that fragile he should take the steps to help get the father help, whether it is voluntary or involuntary.</p>
<p>BF would be better served to contact ACS regarding the home situation, so that he gets some kind of documentation and referrals to other agencies. </p>
<p>He can also look at agencies like the Door, who can refer him to places where he can get low/cost free legal services to help make this happen.</p>
<p>He should also needs to leave the home, get his own place and petition the courts for legal guardianship of his younger brother. Since NYS, issues child support orders up until the age of 21, he should petition the courts for at least child support for his younger brother from both of his parents. </p>
<p>He could probably use all of this information to bolster his case to get a dependency override for himself- freeing him from his parents income assets and increasing his ability to receive TAP/Pell in the future (if he is under 24) and having his younger brother be an independent student when it comes time for him to apply to college (younger brother could also be Seek/CD eligible as an independent student).</p>
<p>He should definitely take some time off from school until he gets his family situation together. As long as he has a completed application submitted to CUNY by 2/1/2013, they will get a seat for Fall 2013. </p>
<p>BF has until September 15 to get an application in for spring admission. As long as he has his ID # from high school, he will not need anything from the high school in order to apply to CUNY. He could send his SAT scores using the UAPC code 2950 (this way he is only paying for one set of scores to be released). Admissions profile so that he can gauge where he stands the greatest chance of being admitted (he will probably have to start at CC, but it is all good, since he is going to have quite a few credits that will not transfer).</p>
<p><a href=“http://cuny.edu/admissions/undergraduate/downloads/freshman-transfer-adm-profile-10252011.pdf[/url]”>http://cuny.edu/admissions/undergraduate/downloads/freshman-transfer-adm-profile-10252011.pdf</a></p>
<p>all the best to him.</p>
<p>Echo the advice to contact a lawyer who has dealt with complicated family issues. The minor child needs legal representation; a judge can freeze assets so that the kid is protected down the road when/if a messy and costly divorce begins.</p>
<p>The older child should not worry about paying for college right now (in my opinion.) He should get a lawyer, encourage his dad to get psychiatric help, make sure he is not being used as a tool in this sad drama between the parents, and not putting himself or his younger sib at risk with the mom’s BF dramas.</p>
<p>There is enough here to warrant professional review of the financial limitations and/or performance issues down the road. For now, this kid has enough on his plate.</p>
<p>But they need legal representation.</p>
<p>Neighbor of mine is a family law attorney. She has been appointed by the court for a few sad and pathetic situations involving high net worth families whose minor kids have ended up boarding with friends for extended periods of time because there has been no food in the house, the heat and electrical was turned off, etc. But there needs to be a lawyer involved so that assets which should be used to support the children don’t end up being moved off shore (it happens) by an unscrupulous BF or unhinged parent-- or just spent frivolously.</p>
<p>The various Aunts and Uncles may be unsympathetic or in denial right now, but if the option is foster care for the younger sib, they will come around pretty quickly when a judge wants to know why there are no suitable guardians in the immediate family.</p>