Can you grade my essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Hi can you grade my essay?</p>

<p>Prompt: Do people make the greatest discoveries by exploring what is unfamiliar to them or by paying close attention to what seems familiar?</p>

<p>Great breakthroughs occur as a result of all kinds of method, whether it be through thinking outside the box or through intensive research. However, by the evidence of historical examples, the greatest discoveries are made by exploring the unfamiliar rather than the familiar.
Christopher Columbus's impact on history is clear, but it also shows how exploring the unfamiliar produces amazing discoveries. In 1492, Columbus set sail looking for India, a place rumored to be of lavish and extravagant wealth. However, Columbus departed with the mistaken belief that he was finding a short way to India. Obviously, Columbus and none of his crew had any knowledge of where they were traveling through. With his preconceived notion of India engrained in his mind, Columbus set foot on the island of Hispaniola thinking he had succeeded. Success here is relative since it may either symbolize Columbus's "achievement" of finding India or represent the discovery of America, which over the next 500 years would develop into the wealthy and industrialized country it is today. No other discovery may have had as significant an impact as has Columbus's discovery of America. Moreover, this discovery was made with complete unfamiliarity with the Western hemisphere. The magnitude of Columbus's error further shows how incredible it was for Columbus to discover America without any prior knowledge whatsoever. Therefore, Christopher Columbus's discovery of America is one example of a great achievement that was spurred by an exploration of the unknown.
Henry Ford and his invention of the car is another example of how testing unfamiliarity can bring a huge breakthrough. In Ford's time, the most significant modes of transportation were steam locomotive and horse-drawn carriages. Few people of the time could ever begin to imagine the possibility of using gasoline powered engines to motorize vehicles. Of course, Ford was one of those few people. By harnessing that unknown knowledge and creative imagination, Ford discovered one of the most practical advances in history: the car. The impact of the invention cannot be properly put into words as it has been nearly a hundred years since its inception into society, yet it is still the most widely used mode of transportation. Again, the breakthrough of the car could not have occurred without Ford's willingness to experiment with the unknown.
Through historical examples of Columbus's discovery of America and Ford's discovery of the car, it can be seen that the greatest discoveries are indeed made by exploring the unfamiliar.</p>

<p>Thanks! Is it alright if I left like three or four lines at the bottom of the page?</p>

2

<p>Thanks for the great idea…I didn’t know how to get my essay graded, I should have thought to put it on here!</p>

<p>Anyways, I think your essay was pretty good. You went into depth on your examples. I only saw one grammar error- all kinds of methods, not all kinds of method. </p>

<p>And I think the bottom two, three lines are ok- quality over quantity.</p>

<p>Overall I would say it is a good essay.</p>

3

<p>Your examples are kind of iffy. Columbus discovered the Americas not by his own will and ingenuity but by a commissioned voyage from the king of Spain. Also, Henry Ford utilized the assembly line which was actually borrowed from the techniques used to dismember pigs in slaughterhouses. Of course, you used cars in the context of your essay. Still, cars have a striking resemblance to trains and steamboats, don’t they?! </p>

<p>Neither “thought outside the box” to the extent that would make them viable examples in such an essay.</p>

4

<p>Fortunately for you OP, the validity of your example don’t matter. Readers are trained not to score your essays based on whether your arguments are true or not, so you don’t need to listen to the above poster.</p>

<p>While examples that are “outside the box”, may be appreciated, they are hardly necessary.</p>

<p>If I were to grade your essay, I would give it a 5/6</p>

5

<p>Actually, he can listen to the above poster [me]. Just because the appropriateness of the examples used in an essay doesn’t affect a person’s final grade doesn’t mean that it doesn’t matter. Using inadequate examples is demeaning and can cast a bad shadow on your essay (if your essay graders bother to look closely enough, anyway). </p>

<p>And what happened to writing with integrity?! Yes, this essay is only part of a test, but that doesn’t make cutting corners any more permissible.</p>

6

<p>Thanks for the input!</p>

<p>Can you grade another essay please?</p>

<p>Is the effort involved in pursuing any goal valuable, even if the goal is not reached?</p>

<p>A dominating belief that lingers among people is that, when a certain goal is not reached, the effort exhausted to reach that goal was all a waste. However, this belief is too pessimistic and understates the value of the effort exerted. Through literary, modern, and personal examples, it can be seen that effort in all cases, even failure, is valuable.</p>

<p>The value of effort can be seen in John Steinbeck’s novel Of Mice and Men. George and Lennie are two migrant workers who desire to fulfill the American dream: feeling full freedom and owning land. To fulfill that dream, the two have had a long journey with frequent jobs and trouble due to Lennie’s low intelligence. They arrive at a farm, where they feel they could earn enough money for their own land. With this in mind, they work hard and befriend new people. However, trouble occurs quickly as Lennie accidentally kills someone and is forced to flee. George catches up and, knowing that vengeance will be sought against Lennie, shoots Lennie himself. This would effectively end any hopes for George’s dream, but he learned valuable life lessons. He learned trepidation, companionship, and the meaning of being a true friend. Therefore, in Of Mice and Men is an example of learning something from effort made to reach a goal, even though it fails.</p>

<p>Even in modern society, the theme of the value in effort can be seen. Gay marriage is a hotly contested topic in today’s political atmosphere. Advocates of it continue to argue for it despite the lack of progress. Initially, onlookers may wonder why gay marriage proponents argue so vehemently to no avail. However, this is because these champions of their own cause realize that even though they have little breakthrough at first, their efforts in arguing for it build controversy. With this controversy, it becomes a matter of national contention and eventually progress for it might be made. Their efforts have obviously been successful in garnering attention. Through this social topic, it can again be seen how efforts can be valuable even if the goal is not attained.</p>

<p>My own personal experience shows how the efforts we make can be particularly valuable. As captain of the Scholar’s Bowl Team, I take it upon myself to lead the team. Therefore, when we had the state tournament coming up, I resolved to study hard in order to 1st place. I built up my knowledge of art, literature, and music, among others. Unfortunately, we finished 3rd and did not reach my goal. However, my experience in studying has provided me with a breadth of knowledge, which I hold in high esteem. Even though I did not achieve my goal, I gained amazing knowledge to better myself as a person.</p>

<p>Through Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men, the issue of gay marriage, and my personal experience, it is strongly evident that the efforts made to attain achievement are truly worth something.</p>

7

<p>bump… anyone?</p>