Help-Can anyone grade my January SAT essay?

<p>I took the Januray SAT, and the essay score was lower than what I had expected</p>

<p>I wonder what score others would give on my essay... and places to improve for the next test... Thanks :)</p>

<p>Prompt: Greatest discoveries often occur when a person explores the unknown, venturing far from what is familiar. But important breakthroughs-innovative solutions to difficult problems, for example-can also result when people take the time to look closely at their daily surroundings. In fact, the greatest discoveries often occur when people recognize in their familiar surroundings certain opportunities that others have overlooked or when people recognize that the way things have always been done is unjust or ineffective or unnecessary.</p>

<p>Assignment: Do people make the greatest discoveries by exploring what is unfamiliar to them or by paying close attention to what seems familiar?</p>

<p>A major misguided notion of conventional wisdom is that great discoveries stem from scrutinizing familiar objects or ideas. Those we hear saying such things are voices hat overlook numerous achievements made by venturing into the unknown. As seen throughout history, people can achieve feats by exploring the unknown, instead of adhering to conventional beliefs.</p>

<p>Christopher Columbus, a young Portuguese sailor who discovered Americas, illustrates the importance of venturing into the unknown. By the fifteenth century, most Europeans believed that Eurasia and Africa were the only continents in the world. Even more, they believed that the Earth was flat; going west indefinitely would make them fall off the Earth. Consequently, most Europeans were confined to the world they were familiar with, and did not attempt to explore the unfamiliar world in the west. Christopher Columbus, on the other hand, took a different stance. Columbus believed that the Earth was round, thus he would eventually reach India if he were to cross the Atlantic Ocean. Despite others’ ridicule, Columbus decided to explore the unknown by sailing across the Atlantic Ocean. He eventually discovered whole new continent, Americas, by crossing the Atlantic Ocean. Unlike hesitant Europeans who adhered to familiarity, Columbus ventured into the mysterious new land and achieved success. It was in Columbus’s daring attempt to look away from familiarity that led to his success.</p>

<p>Another figure in history that proves the need for diverting one’s attention from familiarity is Galileo Galilei. During Galilei’s time, geocentrism-an idea that the Earth is at the center of the universe-pervaded the minds of astronomers in Europe. The idea was bolstered by the Church, which regarded all opponents to the notion as heretics. As a result, most astronomers in Europe were familiar with geocentrism and adhered to the notion. Galileo Galilei, however, decided to take a different approach and challenge the convention. Galilei focused on an unfamiliar theory at the time-heliocentrism-and asserted that the sun is at the center of the universe. Throughout his life, Galilei strived to enlighten the Europeans of the correct notion of the universe. Though he was eventually punished by the Church, Galilei’s heiocentrism is now regarded as the correct theory for the positions of stellar bodies in the solar system. Had Galilei adhered to familiar notion-geocentrism, he would not have been able to enlighten the Europeans. Thus, Galilei’s exploration of an unknown notion led to his recognition today.</p>

<p>It seems apparent that greatest discoveries can derive from venturing into the unknown. As seen in both Christopher Columbus and Galileo Galilei, greatest people in history achieved success by exploring unfamiliar objects or notions. Henceforth, people should divert their attention from familiarity to the unknown in order to achieve success.</p>

<p>I would venture to guess that you received anywhere from a 6 to 8 (out of 12), most likely a 7 or 8. All you said, basically, was that the greatest discoveries come by exploring the unknown/unfamiliar, and then gave two examples that showed two people that did in fact explore the unknown and were successful at it. However, you did not say anywhere WHY people accomplish more by venturing into the unknown. You should have said something like, “individuals attain greater success when exploring the unknown because they are naturally searching for something in the unknown to exploit for their benefit. Exploring the familiar induces no such desire.” There was no INSIGHT. That’s why you didnt do as well as you had thought.</p>