Can you Grade My Essay?

<p>Good Evening,
This is an essay I wrote for practice.
I hope you will help me and grade it for me.
Feel free to give any advices.</p>

<p>"Tough challenges reveal our strengths and weaknesses." This statement is certainly true; adversity helps us discover who we are. Hardships can often lead us to examine who we are and to question what is important in life. In fact, people who have experienced seriously adverse events frequently report that they wer positively changed by their negative experiences.</p>

<p>Assignment: Do you think that ease does not challenge use and that we need adversity to help us discover who we are? Plan and write an essay...</p>

<p>I advocate the statement that suggests that ease does not challenge us, and I agree that e need adversity to discover our profound entities. If you were a teacher, challenging a high school student to recite the English Alphabet won't change anything in the student. The challenge will be a complete waste of time and efforts. Form that simple example, from my observation, and from my experiences in life, I can say that we need hardship times in our life to change us to be better people.</p>

<p>After a thief had stolen my purse, I became a vigilant person. Four years ago, I was walking down the street at 12:00 p.m. in the streets of Paris. My parents were with me. The street didn't sound suspicious. Out of the blue, a thief on a motorcycle stormed from my behind. He dragged my purse with his hands while I was getting dragged on the floor trying to hold on into my precious purse. In the end, the thief used a knife and I never saw that purse again. My dad failed when he tried to catch him, and the police didn't perform its job well. Everything went with the wind. My cell phone, my golden bracelet, my wallet, and my ID were all gone. But I won't cry forever about that. That accident was a life changing event in my life. Four years ago, I was reckless with no self defense. Today, I learned not store all my photos in my cellphone, I learned not to put everything in the same place, I learned to not carry a lot of money in my wallet, and I learned karate. I didn't face any thieves since that day. Four years ago I was weak, but today I'm strong and ready.</p>

<p>Another famous example would be the story of Michael Jordan. The famous basketball player didn't face ease his entire life. When Michael's coach in high school didn't let him participate in the high school time, the ambition in Michael's soul ignites to make him a sedulous person. That incident made him work harder than others, and made him work on a strenuous mode for longer hours. He built his strength from a defeat, and he got stardom in the end. May be if he was accepted in his high school team, he would not work as hard as he did to prove himself, and maybe if that happened, we would never hear about him.</p>

<p>Hardships are the kindle that will fire our inner strength. That's why celebrities always talk about their younger days when they got bullied; that's why Alexandra Robbins wrote a book named "The Geek Will Role the World"; and that's why colleges essays always ask us to write about surpassing failures and I bet all of us will choose the hardest thing we ever experienced in life to show ourselves. </p>

<p>Thank you for reading, and thank you for helping me.
I wish you the best in life.
Have a great day everyone.</p>

<p>To me, your phrasing isn’t fluid enough to earn an upper-half score. If I’m reading this one, I give it a three.</p>

<p>Luckily, there are quite a few softies in the rooms (with whom I spend a LOT of time arguing). You’d probably get a four from one of them.</p>

<p>Therefore this would receive a score as low as 6 (doubtful) or as high as 8 (a little less doubtful but doubtful nonetheless). A 7/12 is my best guess.</p>