Please evaluate my incredibly weak essay and give inputs!

<p>Topic. Do you think that ease does not challenge us and that we need adversity to help us discover who we are?</p>

<pre><code> Many people would argue that ease is beneficial because it allows one to relax and prevents one from being stressed. While this is true, I believe that ease hinders us from tapping into our potential and realizing who we really are. Through challenges and adversities, we as humans learn to grow into better individuals.
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<p>The advantage of challenges is evident at schools. In junior high, I attended a non-competitive school where no one was really serious about grades. Being surrounded by such a group of peers, I never strived to become a better student. I could get grades I wanted without trying so hard. After junior high, I entered a very academic high school. It is academic to the extent that the most famous line at school is "What did you get?" Of course, the course materials are a lot more challenging here and I was forced to study to earn the grades I wanted. After attending this school for over a year, I have realized that my academic potential extends much further than I thought it did. With a flood of information registering into my head, I have gained a better view of the world as well. This experience shows that as I was placed in a more challenging situation, I was coerced to reach out to get better, which resulted in a more knowledge, thoughtful person overall.</p>

<p>Not only is the necessity of adversity seen in schools, I also experienced it when our family went camping in summer. We went to Denman Island in British Columbia and stayed there for two days. Before then, I was never conscious about how privileged I am to live in such a civilized society where clean water just flows out of the facuet whenever I want it. However, staying at that island for two days and living in a place hwere cealn water was nowhere to be found, I was able to realize how lucky I was. At the same time, I came to reflect upon those children who have no food to eat, no water to drink, or no cloethes to where, and who are dying without getting the chance that I have been given. Lack of water for just two days have made a more conscious individual aobut myself and the world.</p>

<p>Our minds like to stay in their confort zone. To push further than what seems to be one's limit can be very difficult. However, by doing so, one can learn something very profound, which can become a permanent benefit for himself. </p>

<p>Oh man,,it is soooooooo bad. Please evaluate my essay, criticize AS MUCH AS you want, and tell me how I can improve. Thanks!</p>

<p>oh ya, i was just reading it once more and realized how many typos there are...sorry :S</p>

<p>bump............ please help me ! =(</p>

<p>I am assuming this is an essay you are writing for the SAT. If this is a college essay then you can ignore a few points.
1. In the introduction never show ambiguity, be firm about your stance and clearly state it.
2. Limit yourself to writing only one example about your experience(Again this is for the SAT essay not college essays).
3. Your second example isn't on the spot and is completely unnecessary, you can do without it.
4. Have atleast three examples(Again, this is necessary only for the SAT)
5. Try to show not tell (Very Important).
6. Essay is too small.
7. Your conclusion is pretty good but try to make it bigger.</p>

<p>Thats pretty much it, Good Luck.</p>