<p>Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.</p>
<pre><code>The real question I ask myself as I am submitting applications is, "Why Carnegie Mellon University?" One of the easiest questions thus far. The quality of the education at the Carnegie Mellon University is hard to find, but worth every penny you spend. With small class sizes and the latest technology, Carnegie Mellon University is no doubt my top choice. Ranked among the nation's top schools, I know Carnegie Mellon could make all my aspirations come true. It is my number one school for its scholastic excellence and remarkable atmosphere. Quality education is something that I feel is necessary to succeed and is something that I am determined to have in the school I attend.
Above quality, I know Carnegie Mellon is right for me because of it's uniqueness. Two things that stand out the most when I think about Carnegie Mellon are the campus and it's diversity. With a wide variety of cultures and people from all regions of the world, the aura that the university has is phenomenal. This diversity that would be represented in all aspects of student life from dormitory life to student programs is one of Carnegie Mellon's enriching features. I could not ask for more than the chance to experience other cultures Carnegie Mellon has to offer me.
There is nothing more I could ever pray for than to further pursue my passion of the sciences, and Carnegie's Mellon College of Sciences has answered my prayers.
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<p>~This is what I have so far and I have no idea what else to write. I don't even have a specific major in mind at the moment. I need help on what I should add and how I should add it. And a critique of what I have so far would be great, too! Does anyone know of any sample essays I could read to get a better idea of what the essay should consist of? ~Thank you so much!</p>
<p>doesn't the topic ask for why you are applying to certain majors and programs? you don't make any reference to what majors you are applying to...</p>
<p>In the following contexts, “it’s” should be “its,” with no apostropohe:
“I know Carnegie Mellon is right for me because of it’s uniqueness.”
“…Carnegie Mellon are the campus and it’s diversity.”</p>
<p>You’re being kind of repetitive. Also, try to be more specific. </p>
<p>Maybe you could try to talk about academic interests if you don’t know for sure what you might want to major in.</p>
<p>I gotta work on this too It’s such a constricted topic I wish they could’ve done a different topic. I guess it is considered important though, since the school reviews applicants by college and programs. Good luck!</p>
<p>“This essay should include the reasons why you’ve chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know.”</p>
<p>You need to talk about your goals and interests. I don’t see much of that in your work-in-progress except for your “passion of the sciences”. Talk about your passion!</p>
<p>boston, this topic is really, really easy if you know what you want to do. I had no trouble writing a page applying to Tepper.</p>
<p>Normally I don’t support necro-ing threads, but let this be a warning to those writing the “why ___” essay, this is the opposite of what you want to do and possibly one of the worst essays I’ve read in a while. It said nothing meaningful about either the applicant or the college.</p>
<p>hawks, yea I agree it’s an easy topic to write about. But what’s hard is standing out from all others with a topic like this, at least thats how I feel. <em>shrugs</em></p>
<p>OP,
Your essay is too generic. Adcom can easily sense that it’s recycled from other schools you applied. I do not say you can’t recycle your essay, but since it is a why essay, the only part you can recycle is your interest in your intended major (in your case, it’s science). But you do not have that part at all.
Be more specific like other posts suggested. If CMU is similar to BU, then you can probably recycle more part of it, still, you should try to distinguish these two schools and bring out CMU’s uniqueness in this essay.
Good luck !</p>
It’s such a constricted topic I wish they could’ve done a different topic. I guess it is considered important though, since the school reviews applicants by college and programs. Good luck!</p>