<p>^^^ lisa6191 - So true! When I moved into a brand new neighborhood twenty-two years ago with two small children I was fortunate enough to bond with many of the other new families who also had children my age. None of us were from Tennessee originally, and I’m not sure how it started, but all the mommies became ‘Miss First Name’, and the daddies ‘Mr. First Name’. It makes me laugh and warms my heart every time these now adult men and women (some married) still greet me happily with the same old “Hi, Miss Colleen!”.</p>
<p>Oh, I never meant to imply that using “Yes Ma’am” and “Yes Sir” are requirements for anything at Bama. It is just as others have said, the Professor was trying to let those who might not be well versed in more polite ways of speaking (particularly to adults in formal settings) that “Uh uh” and “Uh huh” and “Yeah” were not the more desirable responses. He didn’t single anyone out (though DS understood the genesis of the discussion), but couched it in a “cultural awareness” sort of discussion. Of course, “Yes” and “No” are fine. Since others have expressed concern RE: talking about specific situations, I don’t feel that I can do the story or context justice here. However, while DS said that it was not an uncomfortable situation for the kids, he was grateful for the fact that we have never been an “Uh huh” kind of family. ;)</p>
<p>MommyDearest, You said, “it wouldn’t have occurred to me to prep my son to behave differently.” However, if your children already know and do everything that has been suggested here, you have already prepped your son to behave differently–none of us came to earth just knowing this stuff. 
As M2CK said, in some instances, the sorts of behaviors that your son or my son might consider rote, simply are not “known” by some. Reminding a child who generally uses more “common” language to mind their manners or speak more politely isn’t extraordinary. Giving a child who does not have opportunities to attend semi-formal dinners very often a quick refresher course on table manners and appropriate dinner conversation (not to mention reminders not to use their cell phones at the table) isn’t extraordinary. This is especially true if he/she is an outstanding student with great promise who has not had opportunities to participate in activities and events such as those offered through UFE/CBHP weekends. Why not give an applicant every opportunity to be successful? The only way they can be prepared is if they know.</p>
<p>Like your son, my son needs no reminders to be polite, use appropriate language, make eye contact, sit up straight, chew with his mouth closed, etc. He has been attending formal occasions and meeting with leaders at every level since before he could walk. However, though we live in a neighborhood with Fortune 500 execs and state/national leaders, many of the top students here would benefit from the good advice offered here by asaunamom, M2CK and others. The much-relaxed cultural norms in our area (where a student was recently overheard saying, “Hey Man! How’s it goin’?” as he met and shook hands with our governor for the first time at a formal reception) are out of step with norms in other areas of the country and in certain sectors of the population. My goal is to pay forward the great advice I have received on CC. My comments were meant to simply point out that I believe “Do/Don’t” advice for finalists is relevant to this discussion, and to give some specific examples of things that future finalists should be aware of that might not be common knowledge to them.</p>
<p>I will share how last year’s ‘Do/Don’t’ advice helped my boy. Although reserved, he’s a fairly civilized guy, so I wasn’t too concerned manner-wise. Nonetheless, I mentioned the pointers, ‘just in case’, including the one about putting away the cell phone. Since he was not a facebooker, texter, chatter, etc., I figured it was a non-issue. Imagine my surprise when he thanked me for the tip - it seems he had a habit back then of whipping out his phone and glancing at the time (a lot!) when he was nervous or felt awkward. Not feeling that way in our presence, we never saw the habit. (I believe he resolved the problem by turning it off and keeping it in his back pocket out of easy access.) We will never know for sure, but it would have been a shame if a nervous habit had been misinterpreted as disinterest, so we were very grateful for the heads-up.</p>
<p>Quick follow-up: More advice for UFE/CBHP from current members
(for readers who appreciate it, please don’t read if you find public advice inappropriate)</p>
<p>*all of the members of UFE/CBHP know one another, so it’s unwise for a finalist to state that they have forgotten that they even applied to one or the other programs to your weekend escort. </p>
<p>*it was observed that a finalist walked into their final interview with the program director greeting her: “Hey, Dr.xxx, how’s it going?” It happens. </p>
<p>Warn (or better yet teach) against this type of greeting. Just because students have amazing test scores/gpas and are really involved, does not mean that they have an A+ in etiquette.
I don’t care whether you were raised in a barn or in the White House, students should know NOT to greet their elders with “hey”. It makes me crazy when adults encourage “best friend” behavior between adults and non-adults. It’s such a disservice. </p>
<p>Of course, the majority of finalists are well-mannered, polite, used proper greetings, etc. This is only a reminder to encourage your students to get in the habit of what’s considered appropriate, whether you agree or not, it will serve them well for the rest of their lives.
<strong><em>Last but not least</em></strong>**this year’s finalists were an amazing group of talented young men and women that will make incredible additions to these incredible programs. We all have etiquette hiccups from time to time. It’s not the end of the world. Gentle reminders may prevent just one and that was my intention.
The wait will be mentally exhausting to say the least. Hang in there!</p>
<p>ROLL TIDE! and congrats for surviving the weekend!</p>