@marg928 I don’t know much about Umin/Guthrie except that it is a much sought after admittance. I completely understand about the possibility of being available for auditions & booking jobs while in college. My daughter had to make a similar choice last year and then again this year. Her take on it was that she would only be 18 once and that she really wanted to enjoy a “normal” college experience since she missed out on a lot during middle school & high school due to auditions & bookings. It’s a very personal choice, so I hope your D can block out all the outside pressures and really consider what’s in her heart.
She can always submit video auditions – I imagine that would be easy to do via the film/video department at school like UMinn. And, you could use the money saved on tuition at UMinn to fly her out for any significant call backs. (I’m sure you’ve already thought of all this though.)
@marg928 Congratulations! ! This decision is a total win/win. Two wonderful situations. She really can’t go wrong. I always say go with her/your gut <3!
I tried but she’s truly excited about going to LMU and has formed a relationship with her future roommate so the plan is still in effect. It’s still a very nice validation
@marg928 Congrats to your D. Having followed your story, she seems to really understand what she wants. That’s fantastic. It is a great validation from among some incredible options.
@marg928 Congrats! she had so many wonderful options. If nothing else, the Guthrie acceptance might solidify she is making a smart decision to go somewhere where she can work right now!
So I have a story for all of you that I had to share. It’s sort of a Final Decision story but not mine! So at NY Unifieds I was standing outside the Chapman room waiting about a half hour before my D’s audition was scheduled. She was across the street trying to get a walk in somewhere. A mother walked up and was a bit frazzled and started telling me that her D had her audition in 10 minutes and she was still not back yet from the UCLA audition. I offered to call my D from across the street so she could audition early for Chapman and give her D more time (essentially switch spots). So anyway we got to talking…her daughter also wanted to be in LA like mine and they auditioned at many of the same schools, although her D did not apply to as many as mine. She pretty much had her heart set on USC or UCLA. So we chatted for a while and it became very clear that she had no idea about the whole BFA process. Her D handled everything on her own which is how the kid wanted it apparently. She couldn’t even tell me what schools she applied to I only found out after her daughter showed up and told me herself. Her D had been accepted to Loyola Marymount as well (they notified on 12/15) so we also had that in common. The mom was very happy to have met me and took my phone number so we could keep in touch. She was also from NJ but about an hour away from where I live. Of course I told her about CC and encouraged her to go on…I sent her the links…but she never did. So we kept in touch here and there, mostly when decisions were coming out. Since I was more on top of things I let her know when some of the schools would be notifying and even some info about dates of schools that my D did not even apply to…of course because I knew from CC. Some other schools high on her list were Boco, NYU and Fordham and Syracuse. She didn’t seem to have much in the way of safeties. So anyway…as the decisions started to roll in it wasn’t looking good for her. It was a no from everyone…WL at Syracuse, WL at Fordham. So by early April LMU seemed to be her only option for acting unless she came off a waitlist. The parents really weren’t too keen on her going so far away but the father took her to visit at the end of April. He didn’t want to…but he loved the school and she felt like she belonged there so he gave the go ahead. She got some scholarship money but not enough to make a dent in the tuition. (She wanted to be in LA to audition like my D as she has an agent.)
So the mother and I continued to keep in touch and we planned on sending the girls to orientation on the same dates and she got the flight info from me so she could put her on the same flight as my D. I sent her that info on May 3rd. So the other day I texted her to about hotels for move in weekend…she didn’t respond but ended up calling me that night. Oh boy you won’t believe this one…
So she was at her D’s school and the guidance counselor makes a comment to her about how well her D did with all her college admits. The mom was like…well, not really. And then the counselor says…but she got a full ride! The mother was dumbfounded! Well…it turns out that this girl got a full ride to Muhlenberg and didn’t tell her parents! From what I gather (because the mother never seems to know the details) it was part academic and part talent scholarships that when added together were a full ride. She wanted to be in LA and was in love with LMU so chose to keep that bit of information to herself because she didn’t want to go there! So her parents twisted her arm till it was about to break and …final decision Muhlenberg! She has a twin brother who is going to a very expensive school and I guess they made her feel guilty enough to change her mind. They said that if she hates it she can transfer. Is that not a crazy story or what???
@marg928 This story just proves what I’ve assumed about my own daughters. As talented, brilliant and wonderful as they may be…regardless of how high their gpa’s may be…at the age of 17 or 18 they are still children and will act accordingly at times. Children can be selfish and not see the big picture. They want what they want at times and might not see or care about the sacrifices others might need to make and may not see where the road may lead them if they take on unnecessary debt. Which is why I feel it is necessary to be involved in the college process. Even on a master’s level, my elder D didn’t really understand the magnitude of taking on high debt. “Everyone does it for an MBA at a top school!” Luckily at the age of 27 she still listens to my warnings. (If I rant loud enough!) Because graduate schools will gladly lend students the full cost of tuition, room and board–which can be an astronomical number. If I had not read her the riot act about taking on debt, I am not sure she would have been as motivated as she was to look for scholarship money–and in the end she is going to NYU for an MBA with full tuition and fees covered (a scholarship worth about $160,000).
So as much as some CC parents are mocked as helicopter parents, I’m still willing to voice my opinion and be involved if the stakes are high.
@uskoolfish I get the feeling they have money…both kids go to separate expensive prep schools but of course two tuitions is a lot even for those with some extra bucks. We shall see what happens!
There’s just too much of the parents money involved for the kid to think it isn’t a family decision. There are all sorts of ways teens make mistakes. Can you imagine hearing the counselor say “she got a full ride”, and not knowing! Hopefully, kid will not sabotage freshman year.
@marg928 “A twin brother going to a very expensive school” --but the girl is the one being made to feel guilty(?) and directed to go to a school she obviously doesn’t want to attend? There must be more family dynamics at work here than we know.
Yeah I don’t know how I feel about that story. I was essentially in the same position (twin sibling, scholarship money) but I believe that the final decision should be left to the student… I don’t like the idea of a parent forcing their kid to go somewhere just because of the cost (when they could somewhat afford the other school. It just doesn’t sit right with me.
As a parent, I’ve been pretty up front about finances with my kids. They know the budget and the ceiling of parent plus loans. My kiddos are good kids and work hard, but they just landed summer jobs, and for the first time will be managing money. I do not believe they have the life experience to understand the big picture of finances. For us, there is no way such a large financial decision should be anything but a family decision. Many kids don’t have any understanding of the amount of money needed to retire, and if you’re an older parent, debt timing with retirement is a serious matter. So, its all in setting expectations with college aged young adults about a families big picture finances. If this story has taught me one thing, its that I need to show kiddo the net price calculators for each school, how to calculate repayment plans, and retirement calculators. Kid #1 gets his first paycheck at a minimum wage job this week. I expect by the end of the summer, seeing how much he makes in relation to the college costs, he’ll gain some good life experience and perspective. Kiddo will choose his school, but with the backdrop of a financial understanding. @WhiteRaven1, remember that the student purposefully withheld information, try to see that from a parents perspective. We all make mistakes as teens, but that’s a whopper. It would break my heart to have trust undermined like that. Also, as a parent, it’s taken me a very long time (list building for 9 months now) to get a true understanding of college finances, it could be that the parents are just now grappling with the reality of it all.
As the mama of twins who are starting college this fall, I will say that finances have been front and center throughout our conversation. Both are strong students, and received scholarships at schools that would have made their attendance insanely affordable. But my oldest son chose only on affordability, and while that seems to have worked out okay for him in the long run, he carries regrets with him that I wish he didn’t have. Not wanting regrets for the twins, we spent a long time thinking and discussing and re-evaluating resources. For the twins, the bottom line was (1) no debt and (2) commitment to the school. We were fortunate that we could make it work, but the reality is that in part that was because we will be putting two through college at once, and our EFC gave us some room to breathe. But I can never ever have imagined making my daughter “settle” and letting my son “choose” - which is what the story you told, @marg928, feels like. I hope that your friend’s child thrives at Muhlenberg - one of our kids’ close friends is studying theatre and dance there and she loves it there.
I hope so too but I just don’t see it happening…but I can understand why they pushed her to at least give it a chance. It’s so different from LMU and the kid wanted CA in the worst way. The boonies in PA bears no resemblance…we shall see! Meanwhile the mom tells me her son’s college is $75k a year but I looked it up and it’s $50k tuition only and he got a nice merit scholarship so I don’t know what she’s talking about!
