I just worked this afternoon with a young lady who is the first in her family to go to college (including parents/grandparents). She asked for some assistance pulling all of her information together into one place. Very fortunately, both of my kids who have been through the process used some form of spreadsheet to finally gather information so I could share it with her. Her college app/audition journey has been and will be much more difficult than my kids’ journey. I cannot imagine asking a 17 y/o to do this alone (including paying app fees and figuring out Unifieds). She has an incredible essay story; she is going to ask her HS counselor for some additional help getting all the apps in final form and then will turn to the few prescreens she needs to shoot. I am hoping she really pushes hard the next few weeks - she doesn’t have her academic rec in place yet. MY BP is soaring and she’s not my child:-O. I think she slipped through the cracks a bit - she didn’t ask for help until last week. Break legs, everyone!
So nice of you @artskids. My d was the first to do BFA MT at our school so now I am in a position to help others. It is a daunting process and you have to have some guidance. Kudos!
Speaking of guidance, here is a nugget for what it’s worth. I just recently learned that there are apparently some college programs that have weigh-ins? Like you are required to weigh in every week with repercussions if certain standards are not maintained. I can’t imagine the harm that this does to the psyche of a young man or woman or the possible negative ramifications for health, both physical and mental. Might be worth a question or two for anyone in this cycle before you start making final decisions. But, it might be a question better put to current students while on a tour or eating lunch together instead of to a faculty member so as not to offend.
Well our house is similar to what everyone’s describing… going from super stressed to confident to worried D will get in nowhere to just trying to keep head above water. Glad we did start early that has been helpful as fall show season is gearing up & little free time. Still wondering that ever present question…“should we add more schools?” But can’t fit in many more auditions since we’re going to all on campus ones so we are maxing out at 10 schools. Fingers crossed!
I can’t imagine a kid doing it alone plus keeping up schoolwork and shows rehearsals etc !!
@theaterwork - Hand up here on the “shiny object” nature of additional schools. Everytime I see/read about a school I feel incredibly drawn to add it to the already crowded list.
@TNMTDAD - I have heard that too - about weigh ins. I only heard of it for MT programs (not straight acting). I think Emerson does (or did) this. Not sure of others.
Agreed that is just horrible for a young persons mental and physical health.
Hopefully programs teach about proper nutrition to help sustain a person through all the dance/exercise and long days MT actors have.
OMG! Which schools do weigh ins? Good Lord!
1 month until Moonifieds! Going so fast.
My D had her mock audition at MTCA last week. Great experience for her! Still she hasn’t filmed her prescreens yet. Haven’t gotten the Common App in yet either since she hasn’t managed to get her essay looked at by a teacher. Time’s a ticking away! To make matters worse, she didn’t apply for NHS in the spring of junior year because she didn’t have enough community service hours. I remembered last week that I had heard seniors can apply in the fall so I emailed the counselor. I think she totally forgot because lo and behold the same day I sent the email to her, there was a meeting scheduled for a couple of days later. At the meeting few days ago they tell the kids everything is due this Thursday! Just add it to the list! Another essay and big application to fill out!
@marg928 we too are behind the eight ball and have had to let a few things go. Was hoping for a second try at the SATs but it’s not in the cards at this point. Its hard to prioritize what is urgent, important,mission critical etc etc. it’s ALL crucial - but at the same time won’t necessarily make a difference?! It’s very tough to decide where to spend time when there’s a deficit. Glad to hear your D had a great Mock- my D is scheduled for November cuz we’re behind on audition prep (& other stuff too). According to all those that have gone before us it will all magically work!!
@marg928 I would say just read the essay yourself and send that sucker in. Not to be whatever but my D wrote her essay in college prep class junior year and has just tweaked it for common app and general apps and my husband and I read it and edited it for grammar and so forth but really I’m sure it’s fine. My D has been accepted academically at 4 schools from hers and no teacher really approved it. Now unless your D is a horrific writer which I’m sure she isn’t. Lol
I say this because we started this in August … common app and all and are STILL having issues getting letters of rec, everyone’s “SO busy” & are dragging their feet.
As @MTMHopeful said it will all work out somehow & we have had to let things go too. D was supposed to get some optional dance thing together for a school and hasn’t done it so I told her well, we go with what you have and that’s that!
As for NHS , I know it’s important and my D was accepted into it junior year but to be honest I have hear people say that since each high school has different parameters for admission into it that the colleges just look at it and say oh that’s nice and it’s not that big a deal. Especially if your kids transcript and course load is college prep honors AP etc anyway. I was also told this about International Thespian Society… which my D is also a member of but again do schools really care about it ? Who knows…
It’s just about jumping through these hoops it seems! Aargh…
Push forward everyone! It’ll be over before we know it for sure!
@halflokum knows how long I have been researching things on this forum (and in general ) and I still feel like I’m no farther ahead!
@theaterwork (and others in general doing applications) I wanted to share a couple of thoughts on letters of rec…
I am a HS teacher, I generally do around 10 letters of rec a year. (I try to cut it off at 10, some years it works, some it doesn’t). While it doesn’t necessarily take the time a college essay would- writing a good letter (and most of us are trying to make them “good”, we want to help the kid succeed) takes a fair amount of time. I would say I put about an hour each into mine - generally 2-3 drafts. This is why I have said multiple times that asking early is key. My “best” letters are often the ones written in the summer when I am not stressed. I always advise talking to teachers you want to be recommenders at end of junior year - and get them resume/brag sheet etc early. That ship has clearly sailed for this year, but parents of juniors- take note.
I also have to say, that getting “pressured” on letters really annoys - and may impact the quality of results. “So Busy” isn’t an excuse, it’s a reality. I totally get that applications are the #1 priority in your world right now - but they may or may not be for your recommender. I have a student (great kid) who asked me to be a recommender mid September… and his mother sent me a “reminder” email about it once a week until I got letter done. (he was last btw - I do them in order of request). I had to pep talk myself while writing to focus on POSITIVE characteristics of kid, rather than annoyance at the mother. If your school uses Naviance or Common App - those send reminders to recommenders. That’s enough. Unless you have a deadline looming- I’d say leave it alone. Re: BFA auditions, I don’t think schools need your letters to schedule. (My kid’s didn’t, and I don’t remember reading about ones that do here. And if you MUST contact teacher- have your KID do it, and approach it with a “please” rather than a “why haven’t you”. No good ever came from an annoyed recommender. Just saying.
Oh I realize teachers are busy . We’re all busy…
I am not reminding teachers . We are on deadlines but if the person isn’t doing it we’re just going to have to move on to someone else . That’s not being mean it’s just reality,
My husband runs a department store which is quite large. He has done this for 20 plus yrs. he is asked on numerous occasions to recommend people for various things, job references, college rec letters etc… he is really busy. At the holidays especially he works 70 hrs and that’s not an exaggeration. He takes time out of his day to write the letter. He says if that person was a good worker at his store and especially if they came through for him on many occasions the least he can do is write that letter. I am just making the point that if you gave someone 2 months to do the letter then perhaps that is a long enough time…I do not think that is being unreasonable. Obviously a week or two is not enough time…
My D has mainly asked her theatre “people” for letters and a few academic teachers. The theatre people are mainly the few taking a long time. I will say on that note that some of these people my D has worked with for many years. She has been a professional in terms of attitude & preparation and we as a family have done so much volunteer work for these people I cannot even count the time and money involved. Sorry but the least you can do is write a letter and take a half hour out of your day for her especially when she is trying to pursue theatre which is your goal most of the time , to get the kids to pursue this art in some way.
On the NHS front, I know it’s an honor and a “resume point”, but it is not the end of the world if a student doesn’t participate. I didn’t realize my S had even been invited until the graduation ceremony when every kid in the top X% of the class had a red (yellow??) cord around his/her neck - except my kid. I asked him about and he said, “Oh, I forgot about it and when I found the paper in my backpack, it was too late to turn it in”. It didn’t seem to hurt his chances for MY program acceptance - and it was one less thing I had to have on my radar. On second thought, maybe THAT’s why he didn’t get into UofM 
My daughter was not a member of NHS or the International Thespian Society (didn’t qualify for the first, didn’t have the second at her school), and she was admitted academically to every school she applied to with a modest GPA and pretty good (well, really good except for like Ivy League) test scores, often with decent scholarship money. So take heart, folks. It’s not insurmountable. Now the artistic side - that’s a bit tougher. Be prepared for some hard to accept nos there. But remember, all it takes is one yes.
@theaterwork - obviously I know know nothing about the people you have asked for letters. One assumes you and or your D have a good relationship with them, or you wouldn’t have asked them in the 1st place. As mentioned, I complete a number of letters every year. It is my “personal” policy to be done with letters before the end of October, which is sometimes ahead of my kids. All my letters are written, but 3 kids who asked me haven’t completed common app yet. Some teachers like to go in and do ALL students at same time.
BTW- Naviance and Common app confuse us too, it’s a struggle every year to remember all the right buttons to click for various elements - I can only imagine this is even MORE problematic for non-school recommenders. After all, I can go down and ask the guidance people if I get stuck.
Again, I would ask ALL parents here to remember that most of you are doing this ONE person at a time - teachers have multiples - and directors may too.
Plus all the “independent” schools that come with their own forms. (College of Charleston and Pitt are both popular with kids at my school- you do recommendations there through the school portal.) It’s a lot. Also remember- some schools may not accept only artistic type recommendations - some require academic, more specifically from an academic teacher. My own D had 2 academic, and 2 artistic that she could use where occasion called for it. Stay friendly with an academic teacher…
As mentioned before, I have NO knowledge of your specific situation, and I am not trying to make “excuses” for anyone - just laying out some things that parents may not be thinking of. And the BFA process is SO different from regular applications - teachers may not understand timing. One way to handle this (for those with younger kids) is that when you ask someone to be a recommender, you give a date by which you need/want things done. (always assuming you have asked with plenty of advanced notice). Last year I had a girl who wanted to have everything ASAP - and I mean ASAP. I got the notification that her common app was ready for my letter (meaning she had filled out everything else) at 9:30 am on August 1st! When she had asked me in the Spring, she had told me her intention, and asked if I could be ready with letter that 1st week in August. I said sure, and was good to go on 8/1 (I had done by part by 10:00). Of course, the flip side of asking someone to be ready by a specific date is that YOU have to be ready by a specific date. One of my kids who has NOT finished common app this year is applying ED to Vandy- it needs to be in 11/1… I talked to him today (brilliant kid, but massive procrastinator) and I am worried about him getting everything done.
Anyway- just trying to provide some perspective from another direction. On with our regularly scheduled program…
@Mel2421 Agree about weigh ins. Good Lord for sure.
P.S. How many programs is your D auditioning for at Moonifieds?
12 or 13 at last Count.
I’m a middle school teacher now, but was a high school teacher for a while, and I second what @toowonderful is saying. I’d add a few things.
@toowonderful, you said a parent sent you reminders, not the student? Here’s my own take, and feel free to disagree with me: But unless the student has special needs, having a parent send me reminders for a letter of rec as opposed to the student would actually be a deal breaker for me! I could not in good conscience recommend the student. Of course, I can write one giving my honest opinion, but I’d decline rather than write a negative one. I definitely would recommend that all letters of rec communications be done by the student.
Secondly, please, I suggest students not only give plenty of lead time (at least a month) but also to speak to the teacher personally. Please, please, do not send an email without also stopping by my classroom to chat. We are in the same building. Stopping by also helps the teacher remember the student (we have over 100 students/year) and gives the teacher and student an opportunity to add any info they may think of.
Good luck to all in this confusing, stressful process!
@connections - yes it was the parent sending reminders. Now to be fair, I have known the mom for a long time, so that shifts the dynamic. BUT- it should still be the kid handling requests.
And an amusing story as another what NOT to do… I got an email notification from Naviance last night saying that I had an application ready for me to upload recommendation etc. I had hoped it was my ED Vandy kid…no no, it was a student who had NEVER spoken to me about Recs, and came with and “note” attached “Hey Mrs __________ I probably should have asked you in person, but I keep forgetting, will you write me a recommendation?”. I have not had this child in class for 2 years. Have not received a resume/brag sheet. AND the kid’s locker is right outside my door… I should have a tough conversation with them today - but in reality I will probably end up doing a letter (Nice kid, but this is par for their course, they have never quite gotten their stuff together) b/c I know it is down to the wire, and the kid is probably desperate. Sigh…