On the other hand, your house will stay a lot cleaner. You may not have to constantly re-adjust the driver’s side seat in your own damn car every time you get into it and, if you want to eat nothing but cold cereal, a handful of Wheat Thins and perhaps a glass of wine, 3 meals a day, that won’t be grounds for child protective services to visit.
I LOVE both of my kids. They are fun and funny and I’m proud to have launched them and no, I’m not a puddle when they leave nor am I when they are away. (Except when they call with stuff that I SO WISH I could be there to hug them for but that will never change no matter what the the age.)
Do try to embrace the launch and find yourselves once again. Trust me, they will still call be it from 3,000 miles or 3 miles away and you can claim job security over everything they ask you that seems so second nature to you but not (yet) to them because they always had you to think for them. I’ve even had my kid Skype me over something she was trying to fix in her apartment because she couldn’t describe it well enough (and had no idea what she was doing.) Talked her in like mission control in a perfectly executed NASA lunar landing.
That is ridiculous. Is she a junior in high school? If so she can take classes or hire a private instructor if you can afford it and she has plenty of time to practice picking up choreography between now and then. There are a few schools with tough dance calls, but if she is great at singing and acting the song she can get by. Most of the top programs level the dance classes once you get in so they don’t weigh too heavy on the dance call. If she’s a senior I am assuming she auditioned already so the results will determine her outcome. Rule #1…Don’t listen to most people’s advice about where you should apply unless it involves grades.
@type1mom I posted over in the theater forum as well. Many of the tippy top MT reach schools do not have dance calls. CMU and Ithaca will tell you they can train MT dancers. I agree wtih @samigaga - there is still time to pick up some basic dance skills!
She is a junior and has just started to make her list. We were very unsure as to how many schools she should apply to so we asked a college coach to help us. I was stunned when she said we should remove all the reach schools from her list since she’s only danced in her high school musicals and local theatre and is not a trained dancer. Her plan was to take private dance classes starting in May to learn basics and prepare for auditions for the fall. But after spending a lot of money to be told that she doesn’t have a chance, she’s having second thoughts and thinking she should just do straight acting. I’m trying to decide if this is just “tough love” (from a stranger) who is tying to save us time and money or if my daughter should just go for it and not listen to the coach. Especially second-guessing since this coach hasn’t heard my daughter sing or seen her act. But as everyone seems to think, these coaches know the business and college programs much better than we do.
@type1mom I disagree with the college coach’s opinion. My D is a trained dancer but several in her freshman class at Michigan are not. I recall at least one student saying, upon acceptance, that he “couldn’t dance his way out of a paper bag.” That student brought something to the program that was unique and valuable, something the auditors wanted. I can’t say what it was. Each student, each class is different. For the audition, moving well is important, acting the song is important, connecting with your monologues is important, bringing YOU to the audition is important, being prepared and committed is important. If you do that, you’ve done all you can. If you’re a fit, you’re in, if you aren’t, you’re not. Let the chips fall. I would find a new coach, one with a broad, national perspective.
@type1mom that is just not the case. Most schools are building a class. Yes it’s helpful. But everyone in a class is far from a phenomenal dancer. Some are great singers and some are great actors. Usually not all three. A better question a coach might ask is what makes your child unique? I don’t know your child so take this with a grain of salt. If you’ve been reading CC you have gleaned this process is extremely competitive and it’s not for the faint of heart…parent or child. Focus on your child’s strengths. Also if your child is passionate about persuing MT you should go for it. Some kids in this process have been professionals, some have just done their high school musicals and everything between. As regards to dance. You can’t catch up to someone whose had 14 years of dance training with a few private lessons and classes. The college auditors know who can and who can’t. It’s really about the energy and life you bring into a dance call. Your child is a junior. In a few short months she will need to be preparing prescreens and essays. I’d look up all the websites of potential schools and see what they require and then decide what list your list of colleges might look like.
@type1mom I can weigh in on this as my D is not a “trained” dancer , as in has not been dancing for years , etc. she has MT dance at school which includes ballet, jazz and tap. No hip hop. She had yrs of outside tap so that’s her strongest thing. She can dance, but not like a girl who’s been on dance team for years obviously. She will comment after a dance call "wow those girls were good! " however I will say my D has some crazy personality and facial expressions that I know brought her out of dance calls positively & shw has good stage presence which is huge when trying to stand out.
She is finishing up the audition cycle. She has 4 acceptances and 2 waitlists. Still waiting on one school. These are not what would be considered "top tier " schools on this forum but we are happy with what she has as we know it’s good to have some choices in this process! I cannot stress enough to you to make sure you do not only audition @ top tier schools! Throw in a few but not all.
Lack of dance I feel has hurt her somewhat in this process. Unfortunately we won’t ever know what was the reason at a few more top tier schools she was rejected. That’s the thing…you’ll never know. And that’s what sucks. She is a singer first and a strong actor but at times I feel like that didn’t matter. maybe she was too mainstream looking for some programs. … again you’ll never know. I do think maybe if she’d been a stronger dancer it might have made a difference somewhere.
However do not fret over this… DO NOT … because you’ll drive yourself nuts.
If you can get more dance then by all means do it. But it may not matter. It can’t hurt.
I know that’s crappy advice but this process tends to lean to the crappy side! Gear up as it is NOT for the faint of heart.
@type1mom - My S’s freshman year roommate (now MT BFA junior) was a football player and wrestler who discovered musicals as a HS junior when a sports injury ended his athletic aspirations. No dance training, but a truly lovely voice (vocal training started after wrestling ended). By fall of sophomore year, he was cast as dance ensemble in Chicago and you couldn’t tell the difference between him and the “dancers”. I know things are a little different for girls - and many may not consider S’s program a "reach"school - but there’s much more to MT success than being a great dancer in HS. My S would say that Acting rules.
@type1mom I agree with the coach’s advice in general terms without knowing your daughter. If she is interested in acting options and dance is her weakest of the 3 disciplines, maybe you should mix up her list and add more BFA acting schools. This MT world is crazy competitive even for excellent dancers girls. And leave the tippy top reach MT schools out of the mix except for a couple she can’t live without. But you will need to see how your daughter feels about that. Would she be happy in an acting program?
@type1mom CMU doesn’t have a dance call during auditions. As noted above they tell you they will train you in dance.
CMU is about as tippy top as you can get for MT.
My point - I’m sure dance does matter for many schools but it may be better if a coach guided you in that way vs knocking out a whole tier. I bet many schools in all tiers look at dance while others do not. Perhaps you should include a mix of those with dance calls and those without and maybe some
Straight acting too, as well as the varying “tiers” of schools (which is rather subjective).
@bfahopeful Good advice. Some BAs and many of the BMs do not have a dance call. They seem to be a mix of top and match level programs. And some with a dance call have a beginner level combo . But I would stay away from the reachy MT BFAs for the most part. Maybe just a couple that she can’t live without as I said already.
@type1mom Our conservatory HS puts too much stock on dance as far as college MT goes. Watching several years of graduates, I had formed this hypotheses, and this year has provided a lot of data to support it. I have observed that it helps our boys, who are typically up against boys who have never danced. The girls, not so much. My daughter has sung in professional operas and regional musicals, so she’s not short on vocal technique. She has danced at a top ballet company school for a decade. She was the best dancer in the room at nearly every dance call, yet rejections from Mich and Tex St, waitlist at BW. Acting’s not a problem–She got into Pace Acting, not Pace MT. She’s gotten into 5 other MT programs. I believe it is a package, and everything you can bring to the table helps. But at the end of the day, they each look for some “je ne sais quoi.” For some, you may be it, and for others not. She had auditioners say, “I just LIKE you!” Or, “your (Theatrical) range surprised me.” 2 early offers came on a day when she was sick! Our coach helped us understand this and package everything she had to best present who SHE is as an artist. BUT, creating a solid and VARIED college list to maximize potential is key. Talented triple threats at D’s school have ended up with 1 or NO offers. As has been said before, there are so many great programs. It is short-sighted to limit your success by focusing in on a few “perceived” top tier schools. Our coach always emphasizes “be yourself.” That gave us a lot of peace through the process. At the end of the day, why would you want to be somewhere they don’t value who YOU are?
Thanks for all the input. Yes, my daughter is considering a lot of acting programs as well and was planning on auditioning for both acting and MT at programs that allow for that. But after being told that she should just take all of the top MT programs off her list due to her lack of dance, we were a bit confused. The coach hasn’t heard my daughter sing nor seen her act. I’m just wondering if this is a blanket statement that is given to all students and if I should be taking this advice as gospel. It definitely cuts the list down to all fit schools if we take the top tier schools off. I’m wondering what she would’ve told me if I said my daughter had danced since she was five. Would she have suggested she apply to all the top tier schools without knowing if she is a good singer or actor? Just feeling rather unsettled after this whole coaching experience and as confused as ever.
@type1mom Your list of schools should not be made based on any assumption regarding chances of acceptence. No one but the gods that be know which kids will get in where or why.
Instead, examine every program for whatever criteria you deem most important. If your only criteria is “everyone else says this is a great program,” then you’ll be wasting time, energy and money auditioning for schools your kid may not even want to attend.
Step back and figure out what is important to your student. Start with generic stuff like location and distance from home, enrollment size, types of dorms, scholarships offered, academic admissions requirement, and cost. The last one is huge. Don’t put yourself in the position of having to say no to a “dream school” acceptance because it’s too expensive. Have a frank and clear discussion with your kid about college cost and loans, etc. In the long run, it’s their financial future your talking about.
Once you know your base parameters, make a list of potential schools and then research specifics about each program’s curriculum, policies, faculty bios, facilities, strengths, and weaknesses. Don’t worry too much about hi reach vs. medium reach – note: anyone applying to auditioned based acting or mt programs are making a “reach” because these colleges see hundreds more kids than they will take – just some take far fewer kids than others making the odds of acceptance very low. Consider this, but don’t make it the only factor in deciding to apply.
I wish I had my own advice a couple years ago. Maybe then I wouldn’t be helping my D through this insane process a second time. If you’re working with a college audition coach, you’re already ahead of the game. Best of luck!
