@HappyDancer98 I am sure you are right and there is a method in there somewhere , although at this point I have completely abandoned figuring it out! I am a harbinger of good manners and at some point this stuff is bordering on just really pushing it. I know we all signed up for it blah blah but really… the “priority waitlists” the “alternate waitlist " the waitlist for the priority waitlist” I mean aren’t we breaking this down a bit too much at the end of the day?! Lol I know regular college admissions have waitlists and deferments especially Ivy League and top schools but MT people have to jump through WAY more hoops! My D has friends that have applied to piano performance, vocal perf, one applied to Yale and another Ivy League and lots of others applied to really competitive schools ( Georgetown, Cornell) and they are ALL astonished at what we have had to do. Legit every parent has said to me “wow we thought WE had it bad”…the rest of the general college admissions parents look at me as if I have two heads
So yesterday was the hardest day of this process and I guess I just need a place to vent and get some good advice. The no from BoCo hit very, very hard. I knew my D really had her heart set on getting a yes from them, but I think I underestimated just how much. And at this point it is not even really because I think she wanted to go there that badly, but it was the last in her mind “prestigious” program she was waiting on and probably the one where she felt she had the best opportunity based on her type and successful audition. It is almost feeling like a pride issue at this point - something that somehow validates her talent and potential for success even more than the other yeses she has received. And she has been very successful with 6 acceptances and 5 waitlists, all at excellent schools - one in particular that I know meets all of her criteria and she was thrilled with the possibility of getting into when she auditioned. But I guess I didn’t really understand how much she was hanging on to the idea that Boco would be the “one” that trumps all others. At the moment, nothing I can say is really making her feel better - especially pointing out that there are many others who would love to have her options. That didn’t really go over too well. She has asked that we just stop talking about college for the next few days which is probably the best thing to give her some time to regroup. She seems so defeated and sad. I’m just hoping that she can somehow regain the enthusiasm she once had for some of the other schools on her list because I know she would be happy at several of her options. She just can’t seem to see that right now.
@sopranomtmom I know exactly how you feel and the helplessness can be overwhelming. I think it’s a great idea to not talk about it for awhile until she has mourned this loss and is ready to move forward. One thing that helps my daughter when she is blue is to go see a show. Either a musical or theatre piece. This helps to refocus her belief in herself and solidifies her knowledge that this is the business she wants to pursue. If you can get some tickets to a show and take your daughter out it might help. At least a fun distraction. Hang in there. She WILL come around. But it will have to be after she wallows for a bit. This is a true test if she is cut out for this business. 
@sopranomtmom We are in exact same boat here. My daughter is devastated, and only has one acceptance at another school. She feels like if she goes to this school, she will only be going because she has no other option. She’s even discussing not going at all. Nothing I say helps, and I can’t help but think that I’ve failed her in some way. The thought of going thru this terrible process again next year is soul crushing, especially since my youngest will be going thru it the following year. None of this is easy or fun. Hugs to you and your daughter.
Yes @theaterwork it is absolutely the craziest of college admission processes! It’s brutal on so many levels. And, truth is kids have gotten off waitlists at the very last, like right before school starts. Students change their minds. I’ve read about those cases. And, you can’t really compare it to other admission processes because they are building a class, a cohort, and they have to balance skills and type. They have to see who declined before they can decide who to add. It’s tough to say the least. I wish you all well. It does end eventually.
My heart really goes out to those with no admittances. That’s a very tough place to be. I’m not really of the mind that everyone lands where they should. I think these kids are very tough, very resilient, and they can take lemons and make lemonade with them. I think that’s what we see here play out over and over again. I think there are many ways to skin a cat and if this is what you want to do, you’ll find a way to get the training, get the representation, and get the bookings.
I’ve enjoyed following along your journeys here.
Good luck everyone with the waiting and the decision-making! I look forward to reading the final decision thread.
I am saddened by the disheartening experiences everyone is going through. My daughter got NO BFA acceptances when she went through this process and it was crushing…for about a minute… this is not meant to sound harsh. I am saying this with love and encouragement. But this will be a testament as to how your child will fair in this business. If they doubt their talents or abilities they will never succeed. They need to take a good hard look at what they want and move forward with the acceptances they have. They can truly flourish where ever they choose to attend if they believe they can. This business sucks, and if you can’t make things happen for yourself you aren’t going to succeed. I know they are young, babies in fact, and this does seem monumental. But try and get them to refocus their attention back to their dreams and encourage them to look at those safeties or the colleges that want them. If feels good to go somewhere that wants you. My daughter is a current junior at her safety and is flourishing. Not because she is attending a fabulous tippy top university, but because she jumped in with both feet and never looked back.
@bisouu I totally agree with you. In fact I tried to point out yesterday that she should want to go somewhere that wants her and recognizes her potential and also that this feeling of rejection is part of the business and she will need to find ways to deal with it. But I think my fatal mistake is that I was saying it all too soon - she pointed out to me, and quite rightly that I really don’t understand how she feels. It isn’t my life and I’m not in her shoes. She made me stop and think when she reminded me that I shouldn’t expect her to just get over the disappointment in one minute and be ready to move on. I guess a Mom’s instinct is just to try to fix everything and make the hurt go away and in my mind reminding her of her other options was the best way, but it really wasn’t. I think you are right in saying I need to give her time to process it all and move on. And she has to do that in her time, not mine.
@sopranomtmom Another suggestion…do you have anyone you know that is in the business? Sometimes having someone other than mom pointing out that is doesn’t matter where she goes to be successful might help. It did so in my daughter’s case. And yes we do want to fix everything. I am super guilty of that. I’m glad your daughter is willing to take her frustration out on you, that means she trusts you and can go to you for comfort when she is ready.
@samigaga and @tabers or anyone – will Pace Performing Arts Dept. actually send out a :Thank you for auditioning, but you’re Not Accepted the to the BFA program" letter or email? Or if you’re not accepted to BFA, do they just ignore you and let admissions handle you?
Just got the big blue Pace envelope in the mail today with that bright yellow “The Answer is Yes” printed on the outside. It just seems so thoughtless of them to do that for kids in these auditioned programs.
And along those lines, one of the worst moments of the season was getting invited by Wagner to Admitted Students Day and Honors College - via email - 2 or 3 days before the “no” arrived via snail mail. Seriously?
@daughtersdreams I’m pretty sure Pace sends out a rejection letter. Have you not heard anything from Pace performing arts? Perhaps email Wayne P.
Our D’s rejection from Pace came VERY late. I think you could send an email letting them know that you are still very interested in the program, check in.
Yes, i posted in the Pace forum, but if you are still waiting on Pace Performing Arts, by all means student can and should email Wayne Petro and ask status of decision because you haven’t heard anything yet.
@bfahopeful - Nope. Nothing from Performing Arts. Just the regular admissions office. The letter says “you’ve been admitted as undeclared major to Dyson College of Arts and Sciences” So we assumed BFA was a no. But it would’ve been nice to get the closure of a “Thanks, but no thanks” from Performing Arts.
Thanks, @MTTwinsinCA . Will have my D do that. She just feels weird about it because if it was a Yes or WL, we would’ve heard by now - so she feels embarrassed asking.
Not to put too fine a point on it, forget about embarrassment and send a polite business email as to inquire about the status of her decision – you have paid for a service and should expect that service. Perhaps mail went missing or perhaps there is some light Wayne can shed on the process, but at least you’ll know. It’s the first week of April and it’s absolutely OK to ask.
@daughtersdreams A quick way to find out would be to search for the “Pace White Pages”. Enter your daughter’s name, and then set the type of person from the drop down menu as “applicant”. If it says undecided, then she wasn’t admitted. That’s how we found out before the letter came.
@evitasmom The letter we got does say “undecided” so we kinda know it’s a No. But it does seem like they could have sent a letter or email (like @MTTwinsinCA pointed out) it would be common courtesy instead of leaving us to decipher the secret code of The White Pages.
…And no mail. What an aggravation! I emailed, no that I expect any response until Monday. More wine!
@daughtersdreams I totally understand and agree with you! My D didn’t get her paper rejection in the mail until a few days ago.
Cheers @ALS0830 ! I’m right there with you!