<p>Hi everyone!
College deadlines are coming soon, and i was wondering if anyone would read over my personal essay for me and give me critisicm and advice? I can definitely handle it so go all out!
thank you...</p>
<p>i can send it to you if you're interested in reading it :)</p>
<p>nicely done, unique style specific to you. I’d say the segment with the shriek and dentist was not as well done as the others. i still have a little trouble connecting physical narrowness(the house) with the narrow-mindedness you link it to. Consider focusing on boundless imagination more? not being narrow-minded fits better with you segment on your grandfather.</p>
<p>“A camera is very useful in preserving memories in clear, still shots.” this sentence is awkward, the rest of your writing is nice and tight as it should be. </p>
<p>one last thing though, I’m in college, but anyone can be reading your essay. It’s generally safer to not post it on anonymous forums where someone else can snatch it.</p>
<p>thank you so much! I will remove it now, and have others message me for a reply. I really appreciate your advice and comments, ECazndb8r.</p>