<p>DS is going to a large school. He was really interested in playing a particular club sport. Went to the first "practice" last night..turns out the group had a problem getting field access so the coach told them to go have a drink. Proceeded to go to an off campus house with the sole purpose of the evening getting smashed. He decided on his own that this is not his crowd, and emailed the coach to say "no thanks". A bit disappointing because he was so excited. At our HS, the athletes were all the big drinkers too..What is it about sports and alcohol?<br>
Anyway, thought I would post so that other parents would know, if your D/S tells you they decided against a certain group or sport there is probably a good reason!</p>
<p>My, my. That "club sport" wouldn't by any chance be Rugby?</p>
<p>How did you know? We are innocents from the West coast...didn't know rugby was code for drinking....oh well, live and learn.</p>
<p>I really just wanted to tell the other parents that if your kid says he/she doesn't want to join a group or hang with a certain crowd there is probably a good reason. This has been happening off and on with my son since the 8th grade. Reassuring to know that he doesn't plan to spend his college years in a drunken haze...</p>
<p>Could he have gone and drank a soda or water? I don't know why not? do you? </p>
<p>Would they have forced him to drink? held him down and poured a beer down his throat? Or did he jump the gun a bit in his judgement of others? </p>
<p>Bottom line, if he really wants to play and not drink, there ain't a soul out there that will force him. Tell him to pull his head out of the high clouds and get back to earth. Hopefully he didn't burn his bridges too soon. How quick on the trigger is he going to be about other things? </p>
<p>In my sporting years I had the pleasure to play with those who drank, didn't drink, smoked tobacco and/or grass, were funny, were a holes, had no money, had tons of cash, believed in Jesus, believed in Allah, communists, conservatives, liberals, were very talented, were a walking accident and so on... </p>
<p>Our main thing in common, we liked the game we played. So what's the problem?</p>
<p>Did you know BYU lost to Cal in the college rugby finals? BYU is certainly known as a party school, and the rugby team... well, what do they like to do? Most of them answered play with their kids.. :) Did you know a Cal rugby player was one of those who fought back against the terrorists on the plane that didn't make it to the White House? Oh and he was gay as well, and he drank beer. </p>
<p>You miss so many things when you close your mind.</p>
<p>A not-to-be-identified relative of mine has been playing/coaching Rugby since 1969 (a fine year, btw). He currently coaches at an illustrious New England LAC. I myself was a reluctant "rugger-hugger" for a number of years. The first team I was associated with was banned from same illustrious NE LAC campus for life, due to drunken and disorderly behavior and some unsubstantiated hassle with the daughter of the dean. In their defense, I would say that comaraderie with the opposing team is part of the impetus for the heavy partying. Also, there is a long history of English drinking songs, some quite clever, that U.S. teams have appropriated. "Boat races" also come to mind, which I'm proud (?) to say I once dominated -- it's only necessary to drink a single beer to win because it's all about technique.</p>
<p>On a more serious note, Rugby injuries are common. The game is played without protective padding, and with a "fine disregard for the rules." My D-in-law injured her knee -- twice -- very seriously, requiring extensive surgery and rehab. She was tired, moved too slowly, and was tackled illegally -- twice! There is the occasional death on the field, though never on my watch.</p>
<p>All that said, a well-coached team is a fine thing to see. The English, New Zealand, and South African teams are poetry in motion. Unfortunately, Americans (and the Canadian teams I've seen) seem to value raw violence over finesse. Alas.</p>
<p>Close your mind...are you kidding me? The evening was described to me as one with the sole purpose of getting smashed...they were in a room without even a place to sit down, standing around certain apparatus getting drunk...anyway whatever Opie..we can agree to disagree on this one...I am sure there are great teams out there but there is dignity in knowing when you are in a crowd you feel comfortable in and when you are not...to each his own.</p>
<p>By the way, hubbie is Irish and has spent some fine trips in Ireland/Scotland playing golf and pub hopping..we are not tea tippers but there is a line.</p>
<p>
[quote]
they were in a room without even a place to sit down
[/quote]
</p>
<p>yes, that sounds right; and sitting on the floor would put you awash in six inches of foam</p>
<p>celloguy, thanks. Appreciate your humor. I have been reading Opie's posts and am beginning to feel like a racist, bigot, and everything else....I am disappointed that my son won't get to try the sport but I HAVE to trust his judgement on this one...I'm sure BYU has a great rugby team, too bad he isn't going to BYU.</p>
<p>Bottom line.. does he really want to play? Or is this an excuse to bag out?</p>
<p>He doesn't have to drink to play. Who cares what these other guys do away from the pitch? That's my point and maybe it should have been yours if you think about it. He never gave playing an actual try did he? </p>
<p>They were around a keg? so what. Did they force him to drink? And really that's not the problem, bagging out of a drink up is not a sin in rugby. The problem is deciding because "they" drink, he won't play... who loses out in this situation?</p>
<p>I played for around a decade, had a great experience in Wales, England and Ireland, sat with aussie naval officers and talked about their version of segragation, talked English politics with the Welch communist party president, released from jail for the match, and many other experiences to numerous to list out. Sometimes I had a beer in my hand, other times a hamburger. Nobody cared if I drank a beer or not. </p>
<p>The game itself was the common bond everyone shared. No one is a stranger in the Rugby community. They were the most welcoming group of people I've ever dealt with in sport of any kind. It's too bad he didn't even try the game.</p>
<p>"have been reading Opie's posts and am beginning to feel like a racist, bigot, and everything else....I am disappointed that my son won't get to try the sport but I HAVE to trust his judgement on this one...I'm "</p>
<p>I am sorry if I've made you feel this way for five seconds. However wouldn't you agree that in his worklife he's going to meet all sorts of people, with all sorts of qualities good and bad?</p>
<p>Isn't the important thing that he learn to operate in an environment of differences without fear of compromising his own personal qualities? </p>
<p>Again I apologize if you feel I am calling you anything. I was trying to point out that a sport like Rugby is a great way to meet a variety of people with totally different interests brought together for the joy of the game. It is physically challenging and mentally challenging and a wonderful stress reliever.</p>
<p>ebeeeeeeeeeeeee (sorry, having fun)
Perhaps your son will have a chance to play on a semester-abroad? Rugby as it is played almost everywhere else is known as "a gentleman's game." I made good friends with the Richmond England club years ago, and found it to be so. I don't know about Irish clubs, but ask your husband.</p>
<p>edited to correct "team" to "club." There's a big difference. Something about Rugby League and Rugby Union in England I think.</p>
<p>I had a similar problem with women's lacrosse. I was being recruited heavily by my undergraduate club team to play goalie for them (since I had experience), but was turned off by similar behavior. I noticed all they did together other than play lacrosse was drinking with the men's team and gushing about how 'hot' they were. Definately not my cup of tea! It's an unfortunate event, but there may be intramurals he can join if he doesn't want to give up the sport for good.</p>
<p>
[quote]
but there may be intramurals he can join
[/quote]
</p>
<p>my own, perhaps outdated, experience is that colleges will not support Rugby teams at all -- neither varsity or intramurals. That's why it's a club sport. The schools (and their insurers) can't accept the liability.</p>
<p>yup liability follows you everywhere. I would make a comment about lawyers but I can only imagine the posts...oops, I probably already caused a stir. I am going to suggest intramurals to him...maybe broomball or something fun will be more to his taste..my original point stands, college is about finding your "group" and if your kid walks away from a group there might be a good reason...my experience in this stuff has been to trust my son and it has always worked well.</p>
<p>What, no strippers?</p>
<p>nope, I guess they don't have that southern hospitality</p>
<p>
[quote]
I played for around a decade, had a great experience in Wales, England and Ireland, sat with aussie naval officers and talked about their version of segragation, talked English politics with the Welch communist party president, released from jail for the match, and many other experiences to numerous to list out. Sometimes I had a beer in my hand, other times a hamburger. Nobody cared if I drank a beer or not.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Opie, that's the key -- your Rugby experience happened in places where Rugby is indeed a fine meeting ground for all sorts of people. Hurrah! I hope that someday that spirit will migrate to America. I haven't seen much of it here yet (though bringing in coaches from Wales, England, and Ireland certainly helps). You really must visit an aftergame Rugby party at, say, Keene State College before you judge ebee's S's decision.</p>