Cold Feet? Rethinking decision before submitting deposit

Is anyone one else sensing their child is having cold feet or second-guessing their school choice once they start telling people or hear where their friends are going? My son had a few “must-have’s” for his ideal school on his initial list and did not want to seriously consider anything that did not fit that criteria (although I insisted he cast a wide net and has options near and far, big and small).

Now that he thinks he is ready to commit to his #1, he is now questioning himself and the process all over again.

Can anyone else relate?

I think this is both normal and healthy. By committing, he is giving up all those other options so giving that a last thought is smart.

And there are kids who get swept along by one thing or another and realize at the point that it’s real that they hadn’t been as intentional as they should have been and the deposit serves as a moment of truth.

You can probably help your kid just by asking open questions and letting him talk through it. Just listen - he’ll get there on his own… It IS one of the biggest decisions of his life to date, so it’s a great time to show him you trust him and can support his decision making. It’s a great opportunity to develop your role as a trusted advisor.

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For many kids this is the biggest decision that they have ever made.

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This is super common.

All students have to compromise. Your child needs to focus on the sound reasons for choosing a college. There’s no point focusing on the what if’s. Have him pay the deposit and buy the T-shirt.

I understand having to compromise. I guess I don’t want him to feel like he is settling.

In a normal year he would have been with his friends daily all year and they would have had those random moments to share this experience together and be exposed to different points of view and things he never considered (like his older sister was able to do). This year they are all cut off from that and only relying on mom & dad, virtual tours and an overwhelming amount of emails.