<p>My soph D (and us) are already stressing about the whole application process. We are not ivy people (not knocking it, just don't see the value), husb and I are UTAustin grads from back in the day when all you needed was a pulse to get in. We're happy, well paid professionals. D goes to a small, very rigorous prep school, with a solid B average on the AP track. She has interesting EC- varsity lacrosse/field hockey, newspaper, rock band (guitarist), film and student council rep. She's an amazing writer. She's also half minority.
Here's my question. She's a perfectionist who really struggles with rejection and not hitting the mark. The thought of being turned down by colleges frightens her (and us, by implication). What are your reccs about where to apply? I think she could get into a great school, but she doesn't want to chance being told no. Hey, we're all different.
How about international schools?
Thanks in advance.</p>
<p>Here’s my advice after finally finishing the college process. </p>
<p>The good thing is you have some time. You need to have options, many of them. If your D is afraid of rejection, start the list big- 20 schools that your D is considering. This list will drop as you endure the process,trust me. I started with about 17 schools I liked at the beginning of junior year, and I eventually applied to 12 schools. I thought that 12 was a good number for me. Have your D choose some reaches, maybe 2-3. The thing is you have to know that these schools are reaches, and keep that in perspective the whole application process. Choose match schools next, five or six schools in which the average act and gpa measure up to your d’s. Make sure your d loves all the match schools she’s applying too also, not just “maybe would do there” of course its perfect for your d to have a top choice, but its also good to be excited about all of your schools. Next choose 2-3 safety. Apply to safeties Early action. Getting into a safety school you like early in the process makes everything a lot less stressful. </p>
<p>If your D wants to peruse writing, defiantly look at schools with good journalism schools. Its all up to what she wants too. Make sure she chooses every school SHE wants to go to. Does she want a big city feel? An active campus life? I would suggest visit the different types of schools for her to get a feeling. Also, start making contacts with people in the admissions office, it helps your application a lot!</p>
<p>About rejection. Don’t let rejection scare you out of applying to a school you like. You never know where you can get in without trying. People apply to and get accepted to schools they would never dream of getting in. but if you let the school know that you really could see yourself there, and continue to show and tell them that, you don’t know what could happen. Of course, there are times where you do let this be known, and you don’t get accepted, but this is why you have to like all of your schools, and could see yourself at all of them-it just makes the process feel better. No one likes to be told NO, but schools are becoming more and more competitive with very strong applicants, that it gets harder to tell which you will and wont get into. </p>
<p>Have a positive attitude during the process. One piece of advice-start early!! Have your applications done before school starts senior year if you can. Make relationships with the colleges. Keep your grades up, and aim to get a good act/sat score. </p>
<p>Also, although during this time everything is chaotic and looks like it wont stop, in the end, everything works out. You might not see yourself exactly where you saw yourself 8 months earlier, but it really just comes together at the end of the whole process, and most likely you’ll end up really happy. </p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>
<p>Thank you so much for the excellent feedback. I’m impressed with you! What stands out most for me is the concept of starting early. That will definitely help with the stress. I appreciate your help.</p>
<p>If she does get rejected (there’s absolutely no need to worry about this when she’s still just a sophomore) from a college, it could be due to lots of factors. It’s nothing personal. It depends on how you present yourself in your application and the needs of the college. I’m sure a lot of admissions officers at very selective schools get upset when they see all these remarkable people and have to reject them. Your daughter sounds like an interesting person who’s living an interesting life. There’s a difference between being perfect and being successful. I think psychologically, when you get a letter saying, “Sorry, but you have been denied admission to this college,” it sounds like, “Sorry, but we don’t want you,” when they might really want you, but due to certain factors, they reject you. It’s not like there’s anything wrong with your daughter or that she’s not as good as other people. Nobody is perfect. Some of her friends will get into their dream school, and your daughter might not. It can be disappointing. Some of my friends get unwilling to share that they’ve gotten rejecting. One of my friends lied and said that he didn’t want to go to Columbia, when he really did but got rejected. It was a hard pill to swallow. </p>
<p>There’s no way to guarantee that you won’t get rejected. Starting early will help, and knowing more about the whole process of college applications will really help to reduce stress (trust me, by the end of junior year, your daughter should know EXACTLY how the application process goes). But I think the best way to not feel too badly is to apply to all schools that your daughter wants to go to. Your daughter should look for schools that she has a good chance and will probably get into that she loves, so that even if she gets rejected from a school that by all fairness she probably won’t get into, she’ll still get lots of acceptance letters from colleges that want to accept her and that she’ll be glad to attend. So even if she does get rejected from UCLA or Amherst or Brown, she’ll still look forward to attending a school that she loves, even though it might be less selective. It looks like the way things are going, she’ll enjoy college no matter what.</p>
<p>And hey, she’s still a sophomore! It’s unhealthy to worry so much about getting rejected two years ahead. She should try to enjoy her high school life as much as possible, maybe try to get a job to help pay for college, find out a bit more about her interests and what new things she might like to do in college, and just relax and enjoy school and her life. Instead of having the mentality, “Oh man, what if I don’t get in?” she should have the positive mentality of, “Even if some schools reject me, there are plenty that I really want to attend and that really want me. College is going to be lots of fun!”</p>
<p>If you haven’t already read it, check “Colleges that change lives” by Loren Pope. There are a lot of schools in there that a kid can get really psyched about, and they are generally not too hard to get into. The CTCL web site is good too.</p>