Here’s how you start the conversation with the counselor:
Print up the threads you’ve started in the last month or so, and give them to the counselor.
We’re all pretty much convinced that you’re in need of help, just from reading those posts. I’m confident that a trained counselor would agree. And if we’re wrong, then you’ll know.
And there is no answer to the question you asked MITer. If you’re involved in group work, then you ARE expected to interact with the others in your group.
Listen, OP - I know it seems like people are being antagonistic because the clarity in which you are able to interpret their advice is severely hindered by your depression. They only want to help you by steering you in the right direction.
Depression is not something you navigate entirely on your own; in the end, isolation will only compound and exacerbate your problems. No one here is gonna give you tips on avoiding social interaction altogether; especially not under circumstances where your ability to communicate with others is vital in the completion of your school work (labs, etc.)
I wish you all the best and I hope you find peace.
Imagine if a poster started a thread “My doctor says I have to get in shape for my health. But I don’t like diet and exercise. What can I do?” Logically impossible. Although some posters might tell about ways they made exercise more fun, or offer cooking tips for foods that are low-fat but taste good, all the Original Poster would notice is that they didn’t offer any solutions within the parameters of the original question.
Can you try to see yourself from a more objective perspective? “I am going away to college and will be surrounded by a bunch of strangers I don’t want to have any interaction with. I will be living in dorms with them, eating in dining hall with them, and working alongside them in labs. Please tell me how to avoid any interaction with them without negatively affecting my grades.”
So you are having to read responses from people who mean well but are not answering your original question. Why would so many different people want to irritate you by avoiding answering your question? This is not an exercise of futility. Could it be that you are asking the wrong question? I think you are aware of some of your issues, and it is a good sign that you are looking ahead to college and wondering how a person with your issues can be successful in a new community.
Take the next step and ask for help from a professional. There could be medications, natural supplements, or at least recommendations for exercises or mental steps to take when you are in a stressful situation like a lab. Things that will help you to walk through your college years more successfully.
If, after reading this post, you think I am completely off base, just say to yourself “bless her heart, she doesn’t have a clue.” It is how southerners often dismiss a person’s comments while maintaining an air of civility.
You take classes which don’t require working with a partner in class. You ignore people when they try to initiate conversation with you or just brush them off with continual “uh huhs”.
However, by doing that, you’re not dealing with your depression and that’s what people are trying to tell you. You’re choosing not to listen. You’re also failing to take advantage of college, but that’s beside the point. Perhaps you’ll regret it in a few years, perhaps not.
OP, you cannot know which classes will require working with a partner in advance. Many professors are now using small group work and “think-pair-share” activities in class and they don’t specifically state it on the syllabus. You can’t opt out of those. Life requires working with people sometimes. The complete inability/unwillingness to do so is a dysfunction that requires treatment or formal accommodation. You don’t have to be Mr. Congeniality but you do have to be able to interact and communicate to some degree in a college or even a work setting.
If you are indeed clinically depressed or have a history of such depression, you should get diagnosed and registered with Disability Services on campus, so you can get appropriate accommodations that will help you succeed in school. Use the campus health service. Your student fees are paying for it.
I agree with the above posters. Even if you find a way to spend all of your non-class time alone, OP, there is no way to completely avoid interacting with others during classes and especially during labs. You are asking us for an answer that doesn’t exist.
Wouldn’t life be easier if you didn’t have to be anxious about the possibility of human contact? Let’s say that you can “sit it out” (which, if you do have depression, is impossible)-- why on earth would you want to do that if you could get better faster, easier, and happier with the help of a trained medical professional?
None of us have the information to help you, but a therapist seriously, truly could. Personally, my therapist never pushed me to talk to people or do anything weird/outside of my comfort zone that you might be afraid of. There are free services, and there’s really nothing you can lose. Why not give it a shot? Worst case scenario, it doesn’t help us and you’ve proven us all wrong. Whenever someone suggest therapy, you can say you’ve tried it but that it wasn’t for you. But how can you possibly know until you’ve given it a serious try? (Which isn’t just one session, by the way).
I sincerely hope that you get the help you seem to need.
@beetleman the “whatever” attitude will more likely hurt in the long run rather than help. My advice is to listen to all the others’ advice to try to find the best solution for you.
Depression doesn’t go away in it’s own. I have dealing with it for a long time. I had a breakdown in 2012. I was out of work for six weeks. Then I got fired from my job of 20 years. I was up and down all the time.
I went back to school last fall, Then the depression hit me again during spring semester. I withdrew and got a medical tuition credit.
I am determined to get a degree. I came back for fall semester. I’m seeing a counselor on a regular basis and have changed my meds. Most schools offer free counseling. Mine does.
Great suggestion to buy tuition insurance. Also, if school doesn’t work out for you, if you are just hiding in your room and not even attending classes, please don’t waste your money/your parents’ money by pretending. At least find out when the withdrawal date is now, so you can plan to withdraw if you can’t handle the social interaction.
But I have given up on the social scene just 1 dad. I just want others to avoid me. I can interact with just my best friend from elementary school to keep my sanity.