<p>S2 (HS sophomore) is very addicted to Halo2, an Xbox live game - he plays with and against other people via an internet connection, and even speaks to them with a headset. It is a terrible addiction but he has managed to keep his grades up. It really limits his social and EC activities. 2 years ago he was addicted to Ultima Online, a computer based internet virtual reality type game. This did adversely affect his grades and I had to cut him off, close his account. S1 (HS senior) has a lot of trouble studying because he spends 99% of his time at the computer IM'ing, and 1% working.</p>
<p>If I was paying money, and my kid was skipping classes, I would be pretty mad. And then coming home and playing video games. Would drive me bonkers. I would have no problem putting the video games away. Maybe taking them out on weekends. But would definately set limits.</p>
<p>We sometimes don't want to be mean, so we don't set limits. Nothing wrong with saying enough is enough, especially if it effects social lives. Addictions come in all forms, and maybe we think, well its just video games, its not drugs, or cutting, or stealing, but as with anything, doing something to excess is not healthy.</p>
<p>I know too many kids who didn't finish college due to Everquest (an internet adventure-type game in which they can have alternate personas). I think they can be dreadfully addictive. It might help your son to try rewarding himself for every hour of study with an hour of gaming as he tries to cut back.</p>
<p>When I found out my S was skipping classes, I told him he'd have to pay me for every class he skipped because he was wasting my money. Since he's at MIT, with tuition at $15K/semester, that worked out to $62.50/class (240 class sessions/semester). He started going to class. It does make a difference.</p>
<p>It's hard to make friends IRL if you don't go to class, too.</p>
<p>There may be an adjustment problem similar to what the (Pton or H?) admissions director mentioned when he gave the example of a first violinist rooming with someone who has already composed her first symphony. The bar is higher, and with respect to the very intelligent, there is often a belief that brilliance should be enough (they don't believe Edison's words about genius) and that if they have to study it means they are lacking in the brains department.</p>
<p>I remember my experience when I went to St. John's College - we had to learn Attic Greek and then translate the Antigone. I had studied French, whereas most of the students in my group had studied Latin, and they were having a much easier time of it. It was an unpleasant realization that I had to actually bear down, spend time, and put myself through drills to keep up. It was a shock that effectively pricked the balloon of arrogance - in short, a valuable lesson - we have to adjust to reality, not the other way around! Your S could be having similar self-esteem issues based on inexperienced beliefs.</p>
<p>My wife & I have worked in the area of study & thinking skills for some time. It has been our experience that high schools, even top college prep schools, do a poor job of teaching these skills. Much of the stress, hours, and often struggle are more a result of poor study skills than tough curriculum, even for historically "gifted" students. It has been my experience that actual study time can be decreased by 1/3 and grades improved with a little coaching and practice. What is interesting is that Benjamin Bloom actually did the fundamental research in this area in the 1950's at UChicago, and others have contributed yet even more, but the work is largely unused in schools.</p>