College Has Made Me Feel Like a Loser?

I’m not trying to come off as an attention seeker. It’s just that this is one of the few places where I feel comfortable revealing my feelings and not keeping my problems to myself.

Well, my brother was stuck without a job and just stayed home. It was pretty bad. He didn’t have much to do. The next year he was a lot more proactive about getting out of the house - he went to the gym, the library, whatever, to keep busy. I’d also recommend volunteering somewhere if possible because then you at least get some experience for your resume.

@rebeccar I already volunteer at a history museum, as I’ve previously mentioned.

Perhaps your school has staff academic advisers and not just faculty academic advisers. Ask. They might work year-round. You can ask the two academic departments (history & business) who advises during summers. You definitely need a plan. The school wants you to have a plan, believe me.

Does your medical insurance cover group therapy, which you could try over the summer? Groups might help with your mood and feeling connected.

Isn’t it interesting the the college’s counseling center is in high demand? That says a lot about how many young people are struggling with their problems. You might find welcoming support in the school’s TRIO program, which might have some other name. Also contact the office for disabilities support services. They have experience helping or directing students with ASD. Again, I bet they’re working over the summer.

I don’t think it’s easy to just sit with another random person in the dining hall. It might be easier to invite someone who also is looking for a dining-buddy to go together with you to the hall for a meal. Then maybe grow the group by another person or two.

Research which archives are kept at the school. Maybe network with the people involved with them. The reference librarian/s might be a good place to start for help in this.

@dyiu13
Once you become a sophomore, a professor in your major becomes your adviser. And I’ve heard that the advising center is unreliable. So I’ll either have to speak to my current adviser or I can speak with the director of the Honors Program (a Political Science Professor) who arguably is a second adviser to Honors Students. But I don’t know if I can talk to them over the summer because they;ll probably be on vacation or otherwise busy with their lives. Also, insurance doesn’t cover therapy, it comes out of tuition. From third grade up until senior year, I attended “social thinking” groups every week with other Aspies or posses similar disabilities to work on our social skills, and while I’ve gradually progressed in terms of social cues (which isn’t saying much), the friendship department has always been a struggle for me because I brought my hardships onto myself and deserved to be outcasted because of my social inabilities. So I don’t know if it’ll work this time. I honestly don’t see any other students in the Honors Program having similar struggles,although it may or may not just be me. I’m not sure if the Office of Accessibilities is open, nor convenient for me to go. As far as I know, I’m basically the only person in the Honors Program with a disability such as Autism, further distancing myself from everyone else. Growing up, it’s been branded in my head to consider things as “normal” or “odd” (negatively) in order to conform myself with my peers. For the most part, students in the dining hall aren’t sympathetic to people sitting alone, even the people who are the closest things to friends in my mind. Even when I sit with those people, I often feel out of place. And I’m sorry, but what would the archives be good for again?

PS, I don’t know what TRIO is. And sorry if I sound like a whiny brat.

Archives are how historical information is stored. You could learn about and perhaps participate or use them.

Google TRIO. Then Google your school + TRIO. The Accessibilites office would know if the school has a TRIO program for you.

Does your family have medical insurance that would cover group therapy for you over summer? Also, perhaps if you find a LCSW with experience with young men with ASD for individual therapy, you and LCSW could figure out strategies for connecting to people. The social workers seem better at this than the non-SW therapists, imho.

Do you know what career job titles you’re aiming for? If not, research those options this summer. Look for job titles, typical employers/clients, and how to break in.

Shift your perspective so that you see this summer as an opportunity to work on skills that will stand you in good stead next year. Temp agencies hire college students over the summer but they’ll be looking for proficiency in Microsoft Office and good keyboarding speed so if you don’t have both of these you can train over the break. QuickBooks is also a good software program to learn if you are looking for placement. I think you mentioned that you don’t have a drivers license. This summer would be a perfect opportunity to learn to drive which will expand the job opportunities open to you next year. If you can find some volunteer work that will give you office experience that would be really valuable also. VolunteerMatch.org has postings for all kinds of work. Get on the computer, write yourself a plan with your goals for the summer and share it with your parents. I think they’ll be pleased with your initiative and you’ll be able to break free from feeling down on yourself.

@AlbionGirl
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. And I’m sorry if I’ve seemed like a whiny brat in this thread or have posted too much in it.

@dyiu13
As I already mentioned, counseling anytime of the year on-campus comes straight out of student tuition.

At this point, what’s your plan for this summer?

You said that you volunteer once or twice a month at the Historical Society Museum. Find out if they can use you more often, and if you can do additional tasks that might give you background and experience in your area. Most museums will utilize your talents, but will also happily allow you to gain new skills. Also find out about the possibility of a paid internship there next summer. If they do offer them, apply EARLY!

Update: I’m temporarily doing some landscaping in town and I was called back for a phone interview for a Tractor Supply not even 5 minutes from home. Sorry for overreacting, but most people I know in high school or college who are working this have found weeks or even months ago so June will seem relatively late.

While there is light at the end of the tunnel for that issue, I still have two other dilemmas to deal with - my social situation and being conflicted over a double major - and those are actually the reasons why I created this thread in the first place (although it doesn’t help that I don’t officially have a hired position yet like most college kids).

I’ll put the double major issue another way. My dad wants me to pursue actuarial sciences as my second degree, even if it means transferring to UCONN. He says this because there’s supposedly more open jobs as an actuary than for those with Business Economics Degrees since the latter come at a dime a dozen. The problem is that I am perfectly content with my plan and that going there would cost be about $15k out of pocket per year, if applying there freshman year was any indication, so I wouldn’t afford it…

But actuary is more specialized and business/econ more universal, right? So wouldn’t you have more employment options in your current major?

@mommdc
Yup, but the issue according to him is that I’ll have a tough time finding a job with a Business Econ Degree whereas it’ll be easier for me to find a job as an actuary. Besides, don’t history and economics complement each other? Whereas an Actuarial Science Degree will make my History Degree seem worthless.

What you learn as a part of your history degree will be equally complementary with business econ or actuarial science.

Your internships and part-time and summer jobs going forward are what will position you for a future job if you take the history and business majors.

To job shadow some professionals who earned an actuarial science degree. Does their work deeply interest you?

@dyiu13
Sort of, but certainly not more than either history or economics. But who knows if I will be able to find a job in either field, though.

Based on your comments, it sounds like the history and business double-major is the way to go and will satisfy your parents too.

My DD liked Adulting (book & blog), which might help you with social and other typical concerns.