<p>I grew up in an amazing city with a decent sized high school and a great group of friends that I have known for a very long time. I recently started college in Boston, MA and I feel more lonely than I have ever been in my life. I was never a partying person and I don't drink very often and I fear that this will greatly hinder my efforts to make friends. I have already befriended a nice group of people, but I can't help but feel left out because they have a HUGE common interest that I would love to understand more about, but sometimes it's all they ever talk about. I don't really know anybody in my classes and I dread it when classes end because then I will be alone. I have started attending a church group which other colleges all over Boston go to and I signed up for a few clubs that interest me but none of them have started up quite yet. I've never had the highest self esteem and barely dated in high school and this enormous city and large campus I find myself in now is terrifying. I haven't been eating, I've barely been sleeping and I miss my home like crazy. </p>
<p>I want to be able to strengthen my relationships with my new friends without being seen as the odd one out. I also want to meet people in my classes and clubs that I can hang out with after class, go to lunch with and feel secure with. My major is relatively small, do people in the same major form bonds and become a kind of community over time? Will it be hard for me to make those kind of friends because I'm really scared about this.</p>
<p>I would also like to find a significant other. I have always had plenty of guy friends and I like watching sports and stuff with them (trained by my dad), but like I said, my self esteem is not very high. I'm very friendly and easy to get along with but I never find the right chances and opportunities. I miss my home and my old life so much.</p>
<p>I've been a cluster**** of emotions lately and I may sound crazy but I've been so worried lately and any assistance would be greatly appreciated. No haters, please, my self-esteem is low enough at the moment. Thanks!</p>
<p>I feel exactly 100% like you right now, but 100x worst because I commute. It sucks BALLS. High School for me at least was amazing when I looked back at it, but I didn’t realize until my first day of college had started, and apparently there was a reason my mother kept telling me to enjoy high school while it lasts. I had an amazing group of friends throughout the years that came out of know where; and now before you know it, we all went our separate ways. </p>
<p>One of the worst feelings I have now, besides loneliness, is the fact that I cannot connect with anybody when I’m at my university. It’s just small talk for 5 minutes leading to nowhere and I would never see that person/group again. </p>
<p>Here goes my terrible advice: stop being so desperate. Go to college to learn. Then hope/pray that everything else follows. I’m trying to find a job so I can just forget all of this and at the same time, to keep myself busy. I think that will work.</p>
<p>I can sometimes feel in the same boat.
In my high school, my graduating class was originally about 60 kids and we all spent most of our lives growing up together. I had quite a few really close friends, however they all came to me looking for friendship… I never had to put myself out there to make friends.
Came to college, and it was a major change. Rarely did people come to me.
I have found that people within the same major and sharing classes will eventually get to know one another better. Your best best is to join clubs so you can meet people that share a common interest with you.</p>
<p>I know that many people feel exactly the same feelings, at least for the first few weeks. Yet, there are so many things to do outside of studying so that even if you don’t make any close friends right away, at least you will be occupied and that might help get your mind off of the loneliness. Northeastern has a great gym (Marino Center) with group classes starting next week (regular exercise can make you feel better in so many ways). Also, check out the daily calendar of activities to see if there are any events that might interest you. There are two calendars - one on the portal and one here:</p>
<p>Give it time freshman, though in my experiences in college, making friends in class is kind of hard since everyone just does their own thing. I found it easiest to befriend those who I lived close to. I guess I was lucky to find friends close by who had relatively the same interests but trust me, by experience I know that a lot can change over the course of one school year.</p>
<p>Honestly, ask for their phone number right away and then initiate either just chatting via text, or inviting then for lunch/coffee, campus events.</p>
<p>The main cause of those feelings is that for the first time ever (for most of us) we are removed from our comfort zone for a longer period of time. I left home later then most do and these past few weeks, i’ve had moments of loneliness, feeling like I should have went to FSU at home, or to UNF in jacksonville. But things are getting better and better each week. I’ve connected well with one of my instructors. Absolutely love 2 of my classes. It takes a few weeks sometimes for people as a whole to adjust to their new surroundings and be open to connecting with others.
If you want to get the ball rolling… Try reaching out yourself… Yes it will take some guts, but the payoff is often worth it. (The famous quote from Three Kings "You get the courage AFTER you do something, not before, it may not sound the most disney’ish way, but that is how it works)
For me: This one girl who lives in my build. I’ve seen and nodded hi a few times. I saw her more then once eating by herself in the dining hall. One time, waiting for a moment she was up about about, I approached, said the “hey, you live in the same build” some light banter, her return was positve, so I boldly (i was a tad nervous) said “Your welcomed to come join me over there.” and that was it. I did that intentionally so she could decide if she really wants to, and she did! and we’re getting to know one another better now… Point is… If I hadn’t done that, I would not have made a new friend. Same can apply to anyone.</p>
<p>It’s always difficult when moving to a different city give it some time to settle in. Read some new books especially motivation ones it will heap. Google / Youtube anthony robbins rocky and listen to the inspiring story.</p>
<p>Hi seahawkgirl,
I’m also a freshman at Northeastern who’s been experiencing a lot of loneliness, and I’m not sure what to do about it anymore. I know you made the thread a while ago, but I was just wondering if things have gotten better for you/how you’re doing.</p>
<p>Don’t worry, you’re a freshman. You will make friends unless you don’t want to. I’m a girl and don’t even have any guy friends. At least one of one of your guys friends must be interested in you. Your life is full of potential. Be happy that you’re yourself and not me someone with mediocre GPA and sketchy job prospects.</p>
<p>its 2nd semester and i got one person who i really talk to but we not like friends,
life is just different for some of us. well i hope to start new next yr if i do come back.
it some times bring tears when i think of how my life suck after high school,i was that guy in high school but college just brings me down.</p>