<p>Soooooo I'm bored and I just watched this good movie. And so to all the college students, or anyone, who has ever been in a college relationship.....what was it like? You knoww: how you met, what they were like, the relationship, if it lasted, etc. And what advice would you give any incoming college freshmen? I know, it's cheesy, but I like stories lol.</p>
<p>It’s nothing like what it is in movies (esp. chick-flicks). Those are all completely idealized and the glamor you see between couples in movies is, in 90% of cases, very unrealistic in a relationship between two college-aged adolescents.</p>
<p>Personally I don’t think the potential risk of heart break is worth it. (Though of course, if heart break does occur, it can be a great learning lesson for the future.) Many freshmen, once they arrive onto campus and settle within a few months, fully internalizing that they’re away from home, get into a relationship too early with someone they’ve been hanging around often in the first part of the freshmen year (e.g. in their early college group of peers like those from the same residence hall, in the same seminar class/campus club, etc.) The relationship then doesn’t last too long, mostly because both partners entered into it prematurely and in truth didn’t have that sensual, glorious chemistry they both thought existed when going into the relationship in the 3rd month of freshman year. This expectation arose because both thought it could further add to the “liberation” provided from now being in college (and thus away from home and parents, and no longer in high school where one’s reputation was judged by everyone in the high school graduating class). </p>
<p>All this said, there are handful relationships that last into the upperclassmen years, and a tiny few that end in marriage. But these are rare. IMHO I don’t think getting into a relationship in college is worth the mental and emotional energy investment that is required for a such a relationship; time is better spent devoting most (if not all) your energy to acquiring knowledge and deepening [platonic] friendships.</p>
<p>Hmm you seem very pessimistic about it lol. Well that’s interesting b/c one of my friends is a freshman in college right now & she started going out with this boy in november (school started in aug). They seem pretty mature, but idk.</p>
<p>Don’t date for the first year, seriously, just have fun.</p>
<p>+1 to AlixMRoz</p>
<p>Well. I guess I’ll contribute my story…
Freshman year (these past semesters) acquired my first “real” boyfriend. Oddly enough, met him at a dubstep concert a frat was having, exchanged numbers, didn’t think I would hear from him, but we tailgated for a football game and eventually went to the movies. He asked me out after a few dates. Found out he was an anthropology major, which I never encountered, and also was a junior, so it was a bit exciting to me dating that older guy. He introduced me to a lot of parties and random things that I didn’t really get exposed to since he was 21. Plus he was a nerd and video game fanatic like me. Lasted 6 months, but we broke up before summer, for incompatibility reasons. Ugly breakup. But, looking back, the whole experience wasn’t bad. I don’t regret it!</p>
<p>My advice, don’t get too serious freshman year. SO many options, keep yourself open, unless you know, you think you’ve met the One. But even then, just make sure to put your studies and friends/family and other interests first. Then, if you break up, you still have other things to fall back on other than that person ^_^</p>
<p>Agreed. I went on a few dates this year, but didn’t really find anything that felt permanent, and I am fine with that. I like that I’ve had a year to explore my options and just feel relaxed (especially since I had a high school boyfriend, so it was like a new freedom). In the future, I definitely wouldn’t be opposed to dating someone seriously, but it was nice for now to just have fun.</p>
<p>yup,i totally agree.</p>
<p>I dated a few people during college, and saying “during college” as a past tense thing makes me feel really old but I like to talk so whatever. </p>
<p>The first girl I dated in college I met at the beginning of 2nd semester. We didn’t hang out much at first and then I started grabbing lunch with her after class, which turned to ‘actual’ dates, which turned to actual dating. We started actually dating right before the summer after freshman year (I am the MASTER of timing) and we lived about 5 hours away for the summer. We each visited eachother once and made it through. We dated through sophomore year and then made it through another summer mostly apart. We were pretty serious heading into Junior year and, if you’d have asked me then if there were any chance I wasn’t going to be married to that girl by now, I’d have told you that you were insane. </p>
<p>Then about halfway through Junior year I found out she’d been cheating on me the entire time. And that was that. As far as what I learned? Not a whole lot. I got duped and I can either leave a chance that it could happen again or become bitter and jaded. And I was bitter and jaded in the first place so I guess I’ll go with the first one!</p>
<p>The second girl I actually met while I was dating the first one. We lived in the same dorm Sophomore year and kept in touch after that. We never really hung out much until I became single, and then we progressed from grabbing lunch every couple months to dating pretty quickly. We dated for all of second semester until right before finals when we decided on my 21st birthday that neither of us really liked dating eachother that much and really didn’t want to do it over the summer. This one was actually pretty rough because neither one of us really knew why we weren’t working out, we just both really knew that we weren’t.</p>
<p>The most important lesson here is related to when we broke up. Do not break up with someone when they’ve driven you to their house and you have no other way to get back to yours. Also you need more than physical attraction and friendship to date someone. Go figure.</p>
<p>The next one wasn’t really a college relationship since it was over the summer after Junior year but like I said I like to talk so deal with it. I was working about 45 minutes from campus and commuting, and I met a girl in the city where I was working. She was pretty much insane but it was fun while it lasted. I finally called it quits after about a month when she flipped out on me because my flight back from out of town got delayed. She also gave me a deadline to propose to her on the second date, but the first date had been… fun enough that I overlooked that. For about a month.</p>
<p>Lesson: Dating crazy people can be ok if they live more than a half hour away and you’ll never see them again. Don’t expect to form a stable relationship with someone who’s first words to you are “Hey, can I sit here since we’re the only white people here?” when you’re getting lunch at subway though.</p>
<p>The last girl I dated in college I met about halfway through first semester senior year. We met at a party where we were both hammered. I don’t remember what exactly happened but I woke up the next day with her number so I gave her a call and we started hanging out, then dating. We ended up going out for most of 1st semester and almost all of 2nd. We had a pretty one sided breakup when I decided I really didn’t want to be with her long term and graduation was coming up, so… yeah.</p>
<p>Lesson: Eh. It happens.</p>
<p>As far as general advice, if you try to plan out what you’re going to do as far as when you’re going to meet someone and start dating you’re going to be most probably miserable and most definitely wrong. I know people that met someone their first month in college and they’re still together and very happy. It’ll happen when it happens, so just go out there with the mindset that you’re going to whatever feels right and not worry too much about the ‘endgame.’</p>
<p>I don’t really drink or party. nor do I have a lot of friends. But the friends I do happen to have are pretty loyal, since I’m a nice trustworthy guy.</p>
<p>There’s this girl in one of my classes this summer. She’s really hot, and I asked her to study with me. It’s actually ‘kind’ of my first time walking up to a girl of interest and striking up a conversation. Plus, she’s the popular type, and I’m the 1 man wolf clan. So it’s kind of awkward. But I’m just looking for an opportunity to spend some time with her alone so I’m more comfortable to open up and not be intimidated by her entourage. I still find girls scary.</p>
<p>^^ @Chuy, ■■■■■!!! I couldn’t stop laughing about what that chick said, “can I sit with you since were the only white people here?” ■■■■■!! Sorry, I’m black, so I just found that hilarious lol. That is crazy though lol. And it’s definitely INSANE that she set a deadline for a proposal ■■■■■! Crazyy insane haha…</p>
<p>@mrund3rd… Awww that’s so cute when guys get nervous around girls lol. It’s a lot cuter than some cocky guy who walks up to a girl expecting to get a yes, or even expecting the girl to be crazy for him. Yes, it’s happened.</p>
<p>I agree with the people who said not to take dating seriously in college. Personally, college relationships seem like something to do just to kill time, just to have fun. Idk bout everyone else, but I don’t think I would put in 100% effort in the relationship just b/c they don’t seem to last. (anyone else agree with that?) Besides, if you break up, you’re not as hurt. It seems like serious relationships don’t really seem essential until like after 27. Well somewhere around that time, anyways.</p>
<p>So it seems like college relationships are merely experiments for what people are & are not attracted to lol.</p>
<p>I’m curious about what dating is like after you graduate from school.</p>
<p>Boring and everyone is old.</p>
<p>^^^ lololololol</p>
<p>I would say just do hook ups. Relationships get too complicated, drama ensues, relationship ends. You have more important things to worry about…like your studies. The only reason I’m saying this is because I just got out of a relationship…it was bad break up. Just stay away from relationships man.</p>
<p>disagree. I’m not a person who would hookup. I think it’s good to get in some practice relationships before you go the whole 9 yards with a woman</p>
<p>^^ agree. Why would you wanna hook up with someone your not even in a relationship with? It seems like that would be emotionally disturbing later on. Not like seriously disturbing, but like regretful. Wouldn’t you want to know someone well before you go all the way? I mean you would only feel used afterwards. Well idk, I think my conservative side is comin out lol.</p>
<p>I met my boyfriend on the first day of college (literally, we were in the same English class), but we didn’t start dating until several months later. I guess I’m in the minority in thinking that it’s been great having a boyfriend my freshman year. I don’t feel that it limited me at all (we have a lot of friends in common and all hang out together a lot). I think that it’s just very, very important to make sure that you have your own activities and interests. My boyfriend and I do take a class together right now, and we hang out a lot, but I also spend a lot of time doing my own things, namely my sorority, a volunteer music program, and some theater. He has political clubs, his fraternity, intramural sports, etc. You just need to be mature about giving one another space to develop their own interests and activities, and make sure to make friends outside of your relationship. I’m really glad that we’re together and it’s made my freshman year a great experience! Sorry if that sounds sappy/stupid haha.</p>
<p>Totally agree with everything Illinoisgirl said. I was friends with my boyfriend first and didn’t start dating him until well into Freshman year. I think truly limiting yourself would be to close yourself off from the possibility of a great, fun relationship with someone you really like. If you’re mature about it, there’s absolutely no reason you can’t balance a relationship with classes, homework and other friends.</p>