Hi! I recently heard somebody talking about how a Taft alum wrote their college thesis about their time at Taft and what goes on at the school (basically “uncovering” a bunch of negative stuff about the school- not sure how true any of it is.) . I’d love to read it but I don’t know where to find it on the internet. Has anybody read this/heard of it/knows where I could find it? Thanks so much!
I think Twinesnvines is going to post the copy soon.
@Wilmo is on it - something posted last night but written a while ago. ?
I found this Taft paper online and read it, and would be curious to know what others thought. Obviously, it was one person’s experience. But there was some intense trends/themes/culture expressed.
Is this representative of BS life in general do you think?
I realize drug/hookup alcohol exploration figures into high school. But this described a culture that was new-level for me. (Some examples: needing to cast a wide net to find an empty classroom in the evenings for hookups where there wasn’t already a set of students having sex. Or hearing sex noises in a hidden stairwell as a fairly regular occurrence. Or the regular frequency in which the kids were drunk or high. The commonplace attitude – in fact even envy! – toward having major rug burns and blisters on girls’ backs from having sex on classroom carpets. The casual attitude of finding condom wrappers in the dining hall booths.)
Am I completely naive to think that this does not (should not?) represent the average high school experience? Is this what is really going on today, to this degree?
@Calliemomofgirls I’m trying to think about how to answer your question. I haven’t read the Taft essay. I have a friend who taught there several years ago. I would say that there is a fair bit of hooking up at both my kids’ schools. There is FAR LESS supervision than the schools indicate there is, my sophomore son could have had sex every weekend he’s been on campus (afaik he hasn’t). And my kids don’t go to loosely goosed schools.
I think some BS parents are a bit head in the sand about this.
People on this board are constantly saying “well kids do that stuff at home too.” Well I have to disagree. They are less supervised at school than they are when home.
What you mentioned seems on the extreme end but doesn’t seem totally
out of left field to me.
Condoms in the health center at most schools. As well as other spots around school. They aren’t trying to prevent sex so much as pregnancy.
Oh I should have said. Drugs and alchohol on campus not so much. For mine those are expelling offenses. As is having sex under the influence. There was a rumor someone was high last weekend but my son said he just heard the rumor and didn’t know if it was true.
And using a computer to arrange a “hook-up” with an underage schoolmate can result in a lifetime of consequences as we all learned from a recent highly publicized incident at another elite prep boarding school.
Look at how many kids are expelled/permanently or temporarily. Have a kid who talks. While some parents might be head in the sand types I hear a lot. No to sex in the classrooms in search of hookups ( locked). Does it happen with some ( I’m sure it does but it isn’t rampant). Most buildings are in use or locked so really few places. Absolutely no to condom wrappers thrown around. And yes to drugs and alcohol off campus. Known kids. Limited on campus. Not easy to bring it in and having it means bye bye.
That description sounds totally extreme. I don’t blame you for bring concerned. We know of one BS like that. Didn’t bother to apply.
I will say at one school that the music practice rooms have windows at the bottom of the doors, so kids practicing something other than music cannot hide from someone looking in.
Also, this is one reason boarding schools don’t want kids to have a lot of down time – so they don’t get up to mischief.
Of course sex, drinking, drugs happen. These are teenagers with hormones and teenagers who, as a group, are known to experiment and push boundaries. It happens plenty at my local public school, too. They were having plumbing issues awhile back at the public high school - newish building. Turns out the pipes were clogged with condoms. Kids were coming to school early and having sex in empty classrooms.
I went to boarding school myself back in the day. Students were having sex back then and sneaking out at night. Drinking, too. I’m sure other stuff but I was pretty straight laced.
I promise you this stuff goes on at your local public school as well. I think most people who seem to be surprised about this stuff are parents of first time high schoolers.
Whenever this type of discussion comes up I point to this student survey at Andover.
https://sota.phillipian.net/
" Not easy to bring it in"
It’s actually really easy. These kids are smart. Coming back from breaks is a time where there is an uptick. I have to laugh when I go to summer music festivals and see adults sitting next to me using the same tricks high school students do - that empty sunscreen bottle or other fake container.
It is not at all hard to acquire beer or pot and bring it back to campus (there are places in town kids can buy that stuff) but I would think the risk of consuming it while on campus is high enough that they opt to just drink or smoke in a park like the local teens do. There are a lot of adults roaming campus at any given time and while they are not directly supervising they could certainly notice that stuff pretty easily. Plus there are always rule abiding kids who would report that stuff.
So I am pretty sure most of the illegal stuff happens off campus at our school, and I would guess at Taft as well. I know some portion of the Taft kids come back to NYC to party with some regularity. As for sex, I was actually surprised to hear that there are a lot of actual couples and old fashion dating, not just the casual hook ups. I have not asked my kid where the sex happens but teenagers always find a way to make that work.
@Happytimes2001 Where do you find the stats of kids expelled? And not just expelled, but asked to leave? That question was asked on tours we and everyone was saying expelling a kid is extremely rare, in fact a school that we knew kicked out kids that year said they never expel anyone. Since I learned that most schools will give you an option to ‘voluntarily withdraw’ instead of expelling you, I guess as a convenient way to minimize the impact for both parties?
In any event, I think the partying happens everywhere though the degree is different, and Taft is likely at the ‘party school’ end of things. But it is foolish to say that would never happen at X school, it is just a matter of degree. My older kid was at a very academic day school with a large nerdy crowd and there was still plenty of partying.
One variable that is out of the equation for most of us with kids at BS is The Car. Most of us with boarding students don’t have to worry about kids driving to and from parties. Kids back home drive at 16 and they leave “skid marks”.
I showed my kiddo an old year book of friends who attended the school back in the 1970’s. Photos in the 1976 year book of kids drinking beer, smoking, and a reference to pot. It was a fun conversation.
Driving around MA, from Great Barrington to Fitchburg, I did see a number of “Farmacy” signs. I am wondering if this has resulted in easier access for pot among our students.
In case any parent needs/wants a reality check, access to pot was never difficult.
I don’t think legalized marijuana makes it easier or harder. It’s always been easy. Underage students aren’t buy from legalized weed stores though.
AFAIK (from friends!) the pot stores in MA are very strict about checking ID. Maybe kids can pay legal aged people to buy for them but I don’t think that’s much different from before.
There still very much a black market to access for weed in state where weed is now legal.
BS kids cannot drive on campus but Uber and Lyft are all rage and allow them to go places easily. I was actually surprised that there are no BS restrictions on its use at all (most kids are legally too young to use it without an adult), of course parents have to be on board but I wonder if anyone besides me actually checks the app to see where they are going. Every time we are on campus for a game we see bunches of kids piling into Ubers and heading out, maybe to the movies or for ice cream but maybe not. If you are looking for trouble it is easy to find it.
Before there was Uber and Lyft, there were taxis. 
Some schools are so rural there are no taxis, or Uber or Lyft. My sons schools fell into this category.
@417WHB How do I know? Happykid is the reporter. Always has been. That and the school is great at communicating if something happens. Naturally I don’t know who is on “probation” but I do hear some from Happykid. Also those who are bounced are announced. No names but the head of school communicates what happened. I love that. If the kid did something unethical, racist or sexist, I’ll hear the story.
Uber and Lyft are not allowed on all campuses. Many schools require a parent to sign a waiver ( I can think of two schools at least that do this).
We know a great kid who got bounced from a great school. It happens. Teens do stupid things. Just hope my kids make good choices most of the time.
I think some schools have better proximity to the world. That means a lots of things. Mostly good.