<p>For reference: Male, Gay, 18 years old, Senior in High School.</p>
<p>So I plan on going to college this summer and I am currently in the closet to everyone except one of my good friends and I always planned on coming out once I move out and go to college (I plan on living on Campus) since I really would rather my mom and dad not know.</p>
<p>So do you guys think it is a good idea to come out once I get to college? Also what do you think are the chances of me getting a roommate that is homophobic?</p>
<p>I know of one college that ask for your sexual orientation (if you want to provide it). They do that so they can match people who say they would be fine with a gay roommate. One of my friends in college is gay and he is rooming with a straight roomate who has no problem with him being gay. It depends on whether the college chooses to put that in the roommate pairing questionnaire form.</p>
<p>Well, be ready for a big shock to your system. When you move in to college, you’ll be going in “straight” and once you’re all settled in later that day, and your parents leave, you’ll be “gay.” It’s like a complete switch when you start allowing everybody into your personal life at once.</p>
<p>I guess it could work, but your parents WILL find out and they DESERVE to know. You not wanting them to know may signify that you aren’t ok with your sexuality.</p>
<p>If you’re comfortable with yourself now, I’d start. It’ll be less of a shock when you get to college.</p>
<p>No it doesn’t. Not for everyone. I am perfectly alright with my bisexuality but I haven’t ever told anyone. I don’t see how I could possibly tell my mother, because she is so homophobic. I’m scared of what she’ll do. Not everyone deserves to know. And it’s not my fault I can’t tell her. As for the rest of my family, well, there’s my slightly homophobic brother (I’m contemplating telling him) and my dad who probably wouldn’t care, but we’re estranged.</p>
<p>I mean, it’s killing me that I can’t tell them, but I don’t really see how that would be possible.</p>
<p>^adding rebuttal to that quote:
I’m not uncomfortable with being atheist, and I did tell my mother in the past year. There’s now a good chance I’ll be going to Auburn where she can keep me from those damned atheist clubs up at <em>holds nose up in the air</em> Princeton.</p>
<p>If you think that telling your parents might change their minds about letting you go where you want, I wouldn’t bother.</p>
<p>^^Oh yeah, I’m an atheist too and I told my mom earlier this year. She flipped out. She still doesn’t like the fact. I don’t know if she’ll ever get over it. I can’t imagine what she’ll do if I come out.
I mean, she could change her mind about homosexuality if one of her kids are gay, but I doubt it. I’ll just work on telling my brother…</p>
<p>Only come out if you’re sure that the people you know in college won’t look at you in a negative way otherwise it would be more trouble than it is worth.</p>
<p>Then screw your roommate. Really, he should learn to deal with it, and if he can’t, don’t you think you’ll have good enough reason to go to the RA and switch?</p>
<p>Eventually your parents will find out, though. Maybe not when you’re in college, but down the line when you are older and have a career they will eventually either catch on or ask why you don’t have a significant other. I thought for the longest time that I would just not tell them, but then I realized eventually it is almost a have to if I want them to know what’s going on in my life. Though, if it’ll affect you going to college where you want to go (or for your funds to be cut off), then wait. It’s an important part of who you are, even if you aren’t in your face about it (I’m not).</p>
<p>If you have a homophobic roommate, you just switch rooms. Let them know before you get settled that you are gay somehow, don’t drag it into the second semester before telling them.</p>
<p>Coste is right. Your parents will have to find out eventually (if you want them to be in your life for the years to come). But you don’t have to tell them now, especially if it might compromise your options and your happiness in the future. I’ve heard anecdotal tales of a girlfriend trying to force her significant other into coming out to her parents (when the parents were extremely homophobic). I don’t agree with this. I don’t agree with people who believe that gay or lesbian celebrities need to come out publicly as a strong statement against homophobia, to serve as role models, et cetera, et cetera. You and they may have very personal and important reasons for keeping some things private.</p>
<p>“You not wanting them to know may signify that you aren’t ok with your sexuality”. Really? How about “you not wanting them to know may signify that you don’t feel safe or comfortable at this time with revealing your sexuality to them”?</p>
<p>I’d say once you choose a college to go to, contact people there (the housing department, the GSA on campus or any similar organization) and try to coordinate a comfortable housing situation for you and your future roommate. You want to organize this before you step on campus, ideally.</p>
<p>I’d encourage coming out. I think you’ll find a very welcoming environment and people who will support you and people who will go “You’re gay? Whatever” and won’t let it colour their perceptions of you at all.</p>
