It’s such a prolonged "“dating” process, that we tend to get attached to more than one candidate. It’s kind of like The Bachelor; mixed feelings when presenting the Final Rose 
I am so feeling this right now. My D has three choices. She is strongly leaning to the one that I would have placed last. She is going to turn down one of those lottery schools, that she was accepted to and would offer tremendous opportunities.
I will wrap my head, and heart, around her decision but it is disappointing
@emmycat and @swtaffy904 and @momofsenior1 , this is an interesting topic. Came down to three serious choices here as well. I thought S might choose the school that family members have attended, a T25 private research university on the West Coast, but which was the most expensive option. Even though it was the most $$$, he got enough merit that we could afford the cost. He also got into another T20 which was about $10k less per year. He was also waitlisted at another T20 that was in his top 3 for most of the last two years.The fourth option was/is the instate T50.
He/we started the process with the first college tours two years ago.Two years later and after visiting close to 20 colleges (mostly out of state), S ended up choosing the instate large public university option where he was offered Honors and other perks. It’s a solid choice and by far the best financially for our family, and best in terms of opportunities for internships and study abroad. Yet, I had to pinch myself yesterday when he withdrew from the other colleges that he worked so hard to gain admission to. Like @smookypie100 wrote, we need to accept the final decision. S is still waitlisted at two top schools but at this point it feels like going backwards to even be thinking about them, especially what you read about those who do get off waitlists not being offered an attractive aid package or merit.
I am sure that it’s pretty normal to have second thoughts, whether being the student or the parent. Agree with @Momma2018 that people who have not been through the process would not be able to understand the roller coaster ride this has been. No buyers remorse here @AMCdad, just some mild post commitment blues. Great advice to not focus on the “what if” scenarios. The choice made seems like the best fit, but only time will tell for sure. There are many favorable factors with our son’s final choice, so it’s’ time to kick the past to the curb and find a new hobby :-).
@Nomorelurker “time to find a new hobby”… That is hilarious, and spot on: My family’s really worried about what’s going to become of me, now that the college decision has been made.
@decision18 Wish I could take the credit but the “find a new hobby” advice came from Emmycat’s husband in an earlier post on this thread by Emmycat.
Probably it is partly but not entirely about the college selection. More likely, the underlying issue is feeling the loss of having your child living in your home and being there during all your child’s big moments and decisions. We cling to the college search and selection process because it is one of the final activities of childhood. When our child makes a decision, and we put this process behind us, we are acutely aware of the child’s imminent departure.
@Nomorelurker - Judging from your Avatar, I think your son’s choice was my D’s second choice. I think he made a great decision! We live in Athens, so that was a large part of my D not appreciating UGA quite enough. But, a lot of kids in her class who got into more “prestigious” places have ended up choosing UGA. Especially with the honors college, it is such a great deal and offers so many opportunities. Also, the football season should be great fun for the next few years! My D couldn’t care less about football, but hopefully your S will enjoy it.
@TheGreyKing - I think you’re right that part of my “blues” was knowing that this last big decision where she needed my help is behind us. All the responses and commiseration on this thread have helped.
Now, does anyone have any suggestions for the new hobby? 
How about giving our kids some credit for making probably the biggest decision of their lives to date independently?
I’ve enjoyed the process for the most part. Having never attended college, it’s been fantastic to visit campuses, take tours, attend info sessions, and talk to some phenomenally well-adjusted students; to see what’s out there and see the amazing opportunities my kid’s going to be able to take advantage of. Her life at 18 couldn’t be further removed from mine at the same age (at 18 I’d only ever heard of Harvard. I’m not American and I left school at 16, officially, so please cut me some slack) and I couldn’t be happier. It’s her choice, her life. I think she’s smart enough to know what she wants and to weigh up the pros and cons of her decision.
She’s going to a university that we didn’t even visit prior to her submitting her applications. With the expectation of the reachiest (there’s a new word for you) of reach schools her search was made up mostly of LAC. After researching, consulting with the guidance counselor, and talking to people I know who did go to college they seemed like the best fit.
I fell in love with Haverford. I’m still in love with Haverford. There’s nothing I don’t like about Haverford. I wish I could have my life again and attend Haverford myself. But she’s not going to Haverford, in spite of loving the place and receiving an amazing financial package that made it one of the most doable options she had. Instead, she’s made a rational decision based on an opportunity that presented itself somewhat unexpectedly, crammed her research, visited campus multiple times, stayed overnight, met some fantastic students and professors, connected with people in the departments she’s interested in and decided that she can see herself there, see herself enjoying her time, the next four years of her life. She’s confident she’ll have the same access to professors as she might at a LAC and she’s HAPPY.
When my kids are happy, I’m happy. If your kid’s happy with their choice, be grateful that they aren’t one of those kids who didn’t get in anywhere they wanted to and get behind your kids.
Totally get the new hobby comment. I think my family will be glad of the break.
Having had my kid who got into His number choice one year ago and took a gap year, I am so glad this process is done— until I realize we have to drive him up to Northern CA for the New Student Orientation. I don’t look forward to it because I don’t want to know anything about colleges anymore and am trying to think it’s a family vacation. No buyer’s remorse because purposely avoided applying to more schools.
@Emmycat, yep, going instate. Also considered Emory which I am guessing is your D’s choice. To answer your question, yes S is looking forward to the college football, not so much into the Greek, but is open to all opportunities. He was pretty sure he wanted some form of school spirit, whether football or basketball. Emory didn’t check off for that, but it is a great school and he was happy to be admitted there as well. Like your D’s friends, S turned down some other top 30 options, but you’re right, the UGA Honors program is impressive. Can’t go wrong with Emory either. Good luck to all. Next hobby will have nothing to do with colleges!
I desperately need a new hobby! I see all these veteran CC parents who have stayed posting daily on college application boards for years and years past when their kid actually applied and I think “I don’t want that to be me”. And yet, it’s hard! I will not be going to college with my kid, I really do need to back away but it’s hard to let go of the topic that has consumed so much of this last year! Easier to let go of my kid - I know she’ll be happy!
Thank you for posting this thread!! It’s a shame they can only go to one college, right???
My D. did an about face and fell completely in love with a dark horse college on her list. It was a bit of whiplash and I’m still having some emotional reaction that she let what had been her first choice go – esp. b/c they offered her their biggest merit scholarship which we were so proud of her receiving!
I mean she’s going somewhere fantastic and there’s a lot of reasons her ultimate choice makes total sense too – but I’d gotten kinda attached to the other. . .
Big bottom line bonus, however, is that she’ll be a modest drive away as opposed to across the country. My husband thinks I’m nuts to have any lingering thoughts. . .
I think it’s hard not to get a little vicariously drawn into the whole thing!
My son did finally make a choice, and it’s the right one in my opinion. That said, it’s across the country and I think we are both nervous, but he is armed with the support he needs and we don’t live in the old days of long distance and letters. We have Skype and cell phones wherever we are.
I’d want to go where he’s going, so now my blues are that he’ll be having so much fun and I’ll be drudging to pay for it!
My kid had fairly limited choices for college because of finances - no precollege visits because the CC was the only option, and just four visits for possible transfers. Then three and a half years out of college, and after saying “No MFA ever!!” for all of that time, suddenly there was an interest in an MFA with attendant plane tickets and hotel bills for the mass speed-date interviews (29 in one day) in Chicago, flurries of emails with potential departments, more plane tickets and more hotel bills to beyond driving-distance onsite interviews, plus the relatively local interviews, hand-holding over the unbelievably unaffordable really cool program, spreadsheets, comparisons of options that were entirely unknown a short month before, polite thanks-but-no-thanks emails to places that just weren’t right, a nail-biting wait to hear from the Dream School, hand-holding about what to do if BFF who also is in this process doesn’t get in to a program she likes, and all I could think was how much I’ve learned from all of you about getting through the process.
I owe you a tremendous debt. Thanks for helping me get ready for this.
Happykid did get into Dream School. BFF found a New Dream in an unexpected program. Both will have full support for their MFAs. Their old major advisor is just beyond himself with excitement about the two of them landing where they are going. All the parents are pretty happy too.
@CaMom13 I got on CC because of the kids applying to college…but stay on to give advice to others, esp. about my alma mater.
My kids both ended up at my parent pick (based on what they wanted in a college + good value) so no whiplash for me
@CaMom13 - for parents of kids in specialized majors (like ours) the need for information may go on well past the application process. I would say I learned as much from CC after my kid was admitted as I did before.
I fell COMPLETELY in love with one of D’s schools… so much so that it is still a joke at our house. (“Do you love it as much as mom loved X” sort of thing) BUT - as much as I adored it, it wasn’t the best fit for what D herself was wanting. So she picked the school that fit her. She graduates in 2 weeks and has loved her college experience. But I still sigh over the other one sometimes…
Couldn’t persuade my kid to even apply to Cornell where I went. According to my wife, I was at fault for not talking glowingly of it, but how could I when I wasn’t the type to love any college, especially a cold one. My only advice was to avoid going to a cold place. Lol
We couldn’t get our daughter to apply to Cornell either. She would have been a third generation legacy. We dressed her in swag since she was a baby, took her multiple times, and definitely spoke highly but she didn’t feel there was a good enough fit.
This thread is fascinating. I have a daughter who is a junior and am at the front end of this process. One of the best suggestions I have taken to heart is making sure that she don’t prioritize the schools she is interested in and that she doesn’t have a dream school but many schools she would be happy to attend so she the eventual one she picks will be her top choice. I never thought that maybe I needed to take that same advice and make sure I don’t have a dream school too! Aye yai yai!
@CaMom13, agree that there has been much to learn from the boards, especially from veterans, and it could be beneficial moving forward. However, in my case, I will likely move on from CC boards for the most part after graduation and orientation week/registration is done next month. This past six to nine months has been pretty stressful around here. No regrets. I wonder whether I’ll be rooting for or against some of the schools that S let go of when football season starts in the fall. My new hobby is planning our summer vacation. There’s a lot of recuperation needed, especially for our son. Guess we are lucky that he still wants to go on a last summer trip with his family!