My son won’t even think about applying to Wellesley. I am reconciled to this fact.
@Nomorelurker - Yes! I will definitely be rooting against one DI school this year. 
It helps that the school in question isn’t a powerhouse so they lose a lot. I still bear a small grudge from when my D wasn’t admitted into her top choice 4 years ago… it’s gotten much better with time, especially as she couldn’t be happier where she is.
I would love my new hobby to be planning a family vacation but with two kids in college next year - we ain’t got no money…!!! oh well, we’re fortunate in so many other ways I can deal.
We spend time working to foster opportunities for our children, when they walk past them in favor of another, it’s perplexing. To me, it kind of feels like those times during the holidays when you bought them something you thought they would love, only to see they prefer playing with the wrapping paper or the box the gift came in more.
When I have the feelings of nagging doubt about his choice, I think of him as a little boy, empty box underfoot, and filled with the magic of adventure only he could see.
@decision18 I got a chuckle from your comment. After spending almost 18 months on this process, I am now burying myself in home improvement projects to fill the time. My husband swears I’m going to end up getting a second job after the home projects are all complete until I start this process all over again for my HS Freshman. Hmmm, maybe moonlighting as a college counselor?
#37: @momofsenior1 :
I couldn’t get either of my daughters to apply to Cornell either. The first wanted no sports or frats at all, the second was fixated on a particular major.
But a funny thing happened :
As each of them became less enchanted by their selected colleges, Cornell started looking pretty good to them, after all. D1 stuck it out at her first place, but admits now she should have transferred. She encountered course limitations at her LAC. D2 actually transferred to Cornell, so I wound up having an excuse to go up there after all. However unexpectedly.
In retrospect I did some things that influenced D2, inadvertently. For my birthday the whole family acquiesced to go with me to a Cornell-BU hockey game at Madison Square Garden. None of them care about hockey, but I think D2 was impressed by the school spirit, which her college had none of. Then in August before her sophomore year I took the family on a weekend trip to Ithaca. Because I like it there. Well she liked it too. The natural beauty, but also the way the students were hanging out in their houses, living like adults- something that can’t be done at her first school, because everyone lives in dorms the whole time.
I guess the point is, in the immortal words of Carl Sagan, “It ain’t over till it’s over”.
Cornell hockey is the best! Some of my best memories are from Lynah!
@Clueless Leader … I loved your analogy of the little boy and the box.
Definitely believe my twins made the right choice for each of them, but a little sad they both turned down Berkeley, without even giving me the chance to go to Cal Day! If anything Berkeley is even more highly regarded in the UK than it is here, so it was easy to view it as a dream school when we moved to CA. I guess I’ll have to work harder on S23
@mclmom Thank you. Happy to hear.
It’s funny, but every day I find a new activity at UCONN that I’M excited about. Will be disappointed if my son doesn’t avail himself of at least some of them or others. I’m realizing on what I missed out, though I have lifelong friends to show for it, at a women’s college. I think my daughter has no plans to follow in my footsteps, and I’m okay with that.
A huge understatement in our case. After four years at a fancy east coast boarding school, our son chose the military. Three years later and we’re still shaking our heads. But he’s where he belongs and, ultimately, it’s about him, not us.
Its human nature—the amount of pain we feel from losing something is always greater than the amount of joy from gaining something of equal value. Losing $1000 always feel more painful than making $1000. Faced with equally good choices kids are often too focused on ones they will lose than the one they will have.
The last of mine is graduating in two weeks, and yet I remember the feeling of all the “what ifs.” Both my kids made the best choice at the time, and yet…
It’s about closing doors. But if we don’t, we also don’t walk through any.
@websensation Cornell is a Love it or Hate it kind a school
We had to make sure DD18 was not going to Cincinnati because her dad did for both undergrad and law school (not to mention being a Cincinnati native).
We were both concerned that being “raised” on the Bearcats would unduly influence her and, to be honest, my husband would tell her all the negatives about UC and the Clifton area. UC had the best program of all the schools she applied to, so really we knew if she got in she was going.
But the smile she had on her face during her campus visit - plus the reaction she had when she saw her acceptance in her portal - erased any doubts that it was her decision alone.
@bopper I loved Cornell was free for me. I just didn’t like college, period, especially a butt freezing one.
@Emmycat Thank you for starting this thread and helping eceryone who is questioning their sanity for feeling conflicted.