<p>Can anyone look over my common app essay Im not happy with it
THanks so much
My desire to discover always overshadows my fear of getting lost. The challenge, the opportunity to reach farther, higher, to explore—I have loved it ever since I was little, when my mother used to play a game with me driving home. She would initiate the game by unexpectedly declaring, “Oh no, I think we’re lost! How will we find our way home?” Excitedly, I would crane my neck over the driver’s seat, and as she in her playful befuddlement was hopeless, I alone as the navigator could ensure our success. I yearned for the opportunity of control and whenever it presented I happily accepted the challenge. Although it no doubt seemed contrary, the real allure of the game was in going the “wrong” way, and as I gave the direction to turn left where we usually turned right, my true incentive was exploration. My heart beat high in my throat as the unfamiliar territory unfolded before me, I edged further forward, barely remaining in the backseat, propelled by the excitement and fear gushing through by body.
I have found a place for my desire to tackle new challenges in horseback riding. Each day, I face a truly exciting trial as I work with my horse towards improvement which does not come without the cost of discipline and hard work. I continually explore new territories as the jumps are raised and the degree of difficulty heightened. Although my passion for riding is regularly tested Saturday mornings at 7:00 when my alarm goes off, and< I have to drag myself out of bed to go to the barn>; my commitment was sincerely tested at a horse show two years ago, as I witnessed the fatal accident of a fellow young, and ambitious competitor. <time slowed="" as="" i="" watched="" her="" hit="" the="" ground,="" and="" then="" crushed="" beneath="" weight="" of="" horse="" he="" landed="" atop="" body.="" although="" quickly="" stood="" up,="" she="" did="" not.=""> This tragedy forced me to examine if I should continue horseback riding as I realized riding, especially the discipline of eventing, is a dangerous sport, and that every time I get in the saddle, I am accepting a risk. Although I was aptly shaken by the solemnity of the event, I did not let this calamity define me, but instead accepted it. Though I was at first cautious, my commitment to riding was not deferred and I took up the challenge, not for thrills, not to be reckless but because I am passionate about it, and for me this far out weighs the danger.</time></p>